Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 42 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 420

Thread: It's a strange world but there must be a way

  1. #1
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female

    It's a strange world but there must be a way

    I have a lot on my mind and thought about starting a journal.

    I think a lot about nailing something down professionally but don't quite know how to go about things.

    I have excitement and then I lose focus. Maybe I can keep track of what I am doing here.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    I did some music, tidied my room and tried to overall be more productive. I wish I could see answers quickly. Instead I often see a mountain in front of me. I worry that life might get the better of my dreams, that I won't amount to much, that I'm not as special as I hoped.

    Today my Team Leader showed me how to reply to customer's emails and I could see myself slowly dying. I wanted to tell him that we are just processing, that we are not important here but he knows that already because he suffers from insomnia. When he had spoken to me about his insomnia I told him 'wow, you must have a lot of stresses on your mind, ' (for losing sleep) he said 'oh, no it's not stress it's been like this for a few years' and I said 'so it's unresolved stress' and then he was in silence, pondering. In time he told me how he hates his job and how he has a mortgage for a 1 bedroom flat.

    I want to be braver than that.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    I have been confused and a bit down the past 2 days. But I did some more music today, went to a meeting yesterday regarding a vegbox scheme in my community. I am at work now and once again I have ansewered the same question 100 times trying to look enthusiastic. It's nobody's fault, just Customer Service is so cyclical.

    I don't know what's up with my bf but I am thinking about our relationship. I hate fearing that he will leave me if I lose my limits a bit. I hate how I hold back a little since we split up. But I think I would hold back with anyone. I am still warm and giving but I realised that it works better if the woman is not super giving.

    There is such lack of stability in my life already though that I don't know what is a real issue. There is a limitation to my self expression from many angles and a friend of mine told me it's normal to get frustrated. She suggested I move in with my bf but I am not sure about that at all, I just want to sort things ut for myself.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    I am close to finishing a song and it makes me happy.

    Apart from that I have that awful desire again; wanting someone to save me, to organise me and reassure me. And the sad realisation that noone will.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    I applied for a job today. I am happy I pushed through it and took time on it. I also applied for housing benefits as I am so low on cash. My bf had the chance to do 2 extra shifts and he could help me out but he can't do them, hates customer service too. I was a bit hurt by that, there's not much point in 'happy to sacrifice' or 'want a future with you' if one only wants to provide when it's convenient. But I guess I may be too idealistic.

    I have discovered a great site that helps me get closer to my dreams.

    I have it on my bookmarks bar and it helps with staying focused. Today I got up even when I was sleepy, I exercised, showered and then got on with the day. I have done the things I have to do and also talked to family and a friend.

    One of my exes asked me out again and I had to tell him I am dating my bf again. He sounded ok with it.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    A lot of people seem to be down lately. I really don't judge that it is just a bit difficult to be around it. My flatmate came in again crying. She has been going through a breakup, she has depression, she is not working etc. I listened to her and tried to encourage her to take action, dragged her out for an ice cream. Then on the way back we heard my other flatmate arguing with his gf and her eventually leaving teary eyed. Earlier at work a colleague was telling me how she's sick of the job and how she's depressed for it. Another colleague was telling me about her serious relationship problems. And what's crap about that is that we also have customers back and forth and I can't even listen to them properly!
    I really can't help everyone but I feel sorry for them, I don't like seeing people in pain.
    I have to detach myself and I do try but it is hard when it's so close.

    I had a serious chat with my bf yestrday and I voiced all my concerns without fear. He seemed to understand and I really hope we make some changes, a new beginning perhaps with a joint path in mind. My best friend thinks not much will change eventually and I am prepared for that too I guess.

    I have been trying to get some music done but I have all these freaking distractions I can't concentrate!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    I am starting to realise that conquering my fear of mediocricy may be my ticket to relaxation.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    Thanks for the link Jonas, I shall watch that film one day, bit scared to though

    I had a great time yesterday, I met up with a friend and we went to a local theatre. It was nice to be in a small theatre, there was something nostalgic about it and the smell of theatre is beautiful, reminded me of when I worked in one.
    Then we went to a beautiful pub and had a drink and chatted. This friend is the only friend I have here that comes from my home country so it is very relaxing to chat.
    I feel happy.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    I am at work feeling very down. I had a massive argument with my bf and it looks like we have split up. The words were not uttered but it's what I understood. I spoke to my manager to be a bit lenient today and he was very understanding. I don't even know if I am looking forward to finishing work because then I'll just be going home. I have no idea how it went to this extreme, I was actually going to meet his mum today.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,000
    Gender
    Female
    When I finished work I saw 6 derranged messages and 6 missed calls and then he called me again saying that is not what he meant, that he is too stressed with the lack of money etc. I am reaaaaaally tired.

Page 1 of 42 1234 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •