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Thread: blindside by him

  1. #11
    Silver Member
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    Mar 2018
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    No one implied "mooching off men." I questioned if your busy lifestyle was conducive to a relationship, and if you ever prioritized him when you could...I'm not saying you have to blow off work, school, sleep, goals, family...etc... for him, but if you can somehow sandwich dinner with the girls or brunch with mom, can you sandwich him in there somewhere? How long did you date. Were you exclusive? I mean, were you just kind of absent a lot of the time? There's a post here that ran 34 pages over a guy who was "busy" and didn't communicate much in between dates. The general consensus was to move on and find someone available. I've dated "that guy," so I question if you (or him) took the time to cultivate anything. Of course he's going to move on if his not-really-girlfriend is absent and "too busy" a majority of the time.

    He has kids. Divorced? How old are the kids? Are you prepared to be stepmom? Do you want kids? Does he want more kids or is he done?

    Your story is still very loose and choppy...it seems like two people bumping into each other once in awhile and going about their lives the rest of the time, so it makes sense to me that the guy moved on to someone who is available. Maybe you filled in the gaps but were never a serious prospect for him (ouch). I'm still really confused on your relationship, so it's hard to offer any defined thoughts or answers.

  2. #12
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    I didn't say you implied it but before I could respond explaining why I was busy, hence born to very little resources yet not trying to mooch off the government or men so having to go to school and work more than one job, it was stated I should expect that. Which in modern times alot of people are busy working to survive. Before our schedules never matched up but I made time, even when I was tired and he would too, only this last semester (a little over a month) did he have more time and I had less. I just felt both of your responses are insensitive and if you felt it was too foolish for your time then you could've skipped to a post that made more sense.

    I'm emotional right now and thought it we would be a place to get advice from more mature beings. I answered some of those questions already and got a sound response and am trying to delete this so if you know how I can, that would be valuable advice. I don't know you, so your words can't upset me and at this point feel no need to explain further. I couldn't get in touch with my mom but she finally was able to call back so I feel much better. I just don't understand how my little words as a stranger could cause such a response.

  3. #13
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    Dec 2018
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    If anyone finds it too foolish you don't have to comment, I finally talked to my mom who gave me sound advice and support. I had a hard time getting her on the phone and just ask if you know how I can delete this please tell me because it's annoying people will try to be rude over a comment I made with no vulgar language but they get so offended. This is meant for support even if you think it's stupid you have the option to scroll on by, not try to make someone feel worse.

    I'm young and not immune to mistakes just like the rest of the population. WE all have made plenty of mistakes and done things that made no sense to others.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,021
    You can't delete threads, OP. You can ask a mod to close it, though.

    But who are you addressing here?: "I just don't understand how my little words as a stranger could cause such a response."

    To respond to a specific poster or post, just hit "Reply with Quote" on that message, instead of "Reply"

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