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Thread: Not sure what to do. Maybe someone here knows?

  1. #1

    Not sure what to do. Maybe someone here knows?

    I had a knot in my throat because I unknowingly drank caffeine in some tea before bed. My boyfriend was thinking all night that I was mad at him because of my energy, but every time I tried to tell him I wasnít mad, he would tell me that he was 100% sure I was mad, and he would pout and pout and look so sad.

    Every time I looked at him he would stop what he was doing and apologize acting like he was very annoyed and upset, even though I was literally just looking at him without judgment. Sometimes Iím even looking at him with love when he ends up stopping what heís doing, apologizing in an angry manner.

    For hours it could go on in this pattern: he rolls over, watches a movie on his laptop, etc.. then I look at him, he apologizes, I ask him why, he says he doesnít know. Iím not even sure what to do.. because no matter what I say or how I act he wonít believe me when I tell him Iím not mad.

    He also talks about himself as if heís a horrible person, but the only thing that makes him nearly intolerable at times is the negative way he talks about himself, not because of anything heís doing that is inherently wrong. He also lies and calls it joking. For example: telling me he took a bunch of pills (which scares me obviously) then saying he actually only took the recommended dose and heís fine.

    Besides all of this we have amazing days, Iím in love with him most of the time. Some days we hit it off so well, heís positive and confident and silly.

    I love him when heís like this, and I love him when heís not too... but Iím just trying to figure out if these are things that can be fixed with time (and counseling since we just started couples counseling) or if this is something he needs to figure out on his own.

    I love him but I donít want to hurt myself trying to fix someone who canít be fixed. What should I do? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
    Last edited by Alicia Jones; 12-08-2018 at 04:30 AM. Reason: I forgot to press enter for each paragraph

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Alicia Jones
    I had a knot in my throat because I unknowingly drank caffeine in some tea before bed. My boyfriend was thinking all night that I was mad at him because of my energy,
    Not sure if I understand this correctly, but ....... your boyfriend thought you were mad at him because you drank caffeine before bed??

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He sounds like a manipulative jerk. This isn't about tea. What kind of pills was he "joking about"? He seems like the type who wants the center of attention at all times and will use any kind of almost abusive drama to get it. End it. You can't change or fix anyone. Why are you in couples counseling? That won't fix being a jerk.
    Originally Posted by Alicia Jones
    -he would tell me that he was 100% sure I was mad, and he would pout and pout and look so sad.
    -he ends up stopping what heís doing, apologizing in an angry manner.
    He also lies and calls it joking. For example: telling me he took a bunch of pills (which scares me obviously) then saying he actually only took the recommended dose and heís fine.
    donít want to hurt myself trying to fix someone who canít be fixed.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    He sounds like a manipulative jerk. This isn't about tea. What kind of pills was he "joking about"? He seems like the type who wants the center of attention at all times and will use any kind of almost abusive drama to get it. End it. You can't change or fix anyone. Why are you in couples counseling? That won't fix being a jerk.
    I agree this has nothing to do with tea and caffeine. Your bf sounds like a jerk.

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  6. #5
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    It sounds like depression. A lot of people who are depressed don't think they're good enough to have a girlfriend and put themselves down. But it could also be emotional abuse. Was he trying to make you crazy on purpose? Is he always like this?

    Does he also suffer from insomnia? Why was he up all night watching movies on his laptop? What kind of pills did he take? Does he have psychological issues?

    I think the problem is with your boyfriend and not you drinking caffeine. If you want to talk about what hes doing, feel free to discuss it here.


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