Boyfriend with PTSD wants to move out to be self sufficient

Hey there, I'm really struggling with the situation my relationship is in right now and could use some advice from the outside..

My boyfriend and I have been together 11 month and live together as well. We are in our 40's and somewhat mature I would think lol. He has been diagnosed with PTSD years ago and is struggling with depression and anger and so on. He lost his job back in April and was unemployed since. I have been supportive emotionally and financially all along. He was really depressed about not having a job and would lay on the couch days at a time sometimes but he was trying to find a job and get better. But things have been rough between us, not that we argued much, he was just in a depressed state and didn't have much interest in anything. However he finally got a job. But now he tells me he wants to move out. He needs to be self sufficient again. Whatever he needed, i made sure he was ok. I paid his bills, paid for getting his car fixed.. i am a full time student and he always said, i pay you back, i will find a job so you do not have to work once you are in the core program and I trusted him. Now he is looking for a place, he says he loves me and wants to stay together, but he needs his own space to get better. but getting his own place is not gonna fix his problems and so far he has not even talked about anything else he is going to do. While I understand his side to some point, i am disappointed and feel like he misused my trust. In January i start my core program and he is moving out and i feel left hanging. We will most likely both struggle financially. I am not sure where to go from here..I am mad at myself that I gave so much, I am mad at him for taking what i gave all this time he needed it and I would love to hear some input and opinions. PTSD is not easy to deal with and I understand the need for him to get healthy but i cant shake the feeling that he just was/is not fair. Am I wrong or unreasonable with how i'm feeling? It's not just about the money , it's about supporting each other in general.

Unfortunately, he's right. He does need to regain his self respect, independence and dignity. Getting a job and his own place is a step in that direction. Was he contributing financially? You claim you will both struggle now? Why can't you continue to date while he works, regains his independence and gets his own place?

My boyfriend and I have been together 11 month and live together as well.

He lost his job back in April and was unemployed since.

However he finally got a job. But now he tells me he wants to move out. He needs to be self sufficient again.

Now he is looking for a place, he says he loves me and wants to stay together, but he needs his own space to get better.

We will most likely both struggle financially.

It sounds like you were getting more out of living together than he was. Is this due to financial reasons? So you think now that he is moving out he won't "pay you back?"

I think it's wise of him to want to move out, otherwise he won't become independent.

You apparently could afford to pay the bills while he was living with you and not working. Why would his moving out change that? I would think the bills would be lower for one person.

Was going to say the same thing as bolt^^.

Financially, at least, shouldn't this be easier for you?

Emotionally, I understand it's tricky. That said, looking at the big picture, this sounds like a needed chapter—for him, to regain his sense of worth and self-esteem, and for both of you, to create a dynamic that is equal.

I'd say that, if you can start seeing it like that, rather than a verdict on you, there's a shot for you guys. But if it's all resentment—well, that's a rough road.

I can see why you would feel a bit let down for sure and got a new set of worries with him moving out ...sadly you are just going tohave to go with it ... something in him wants to get his own self respect back and go it alone for a while .

You've been used, pure and simple. Now that he has money he doesn't need you anymore. You should dump this loser and find a nice guy who will love you for being kind and considerate.

Why would you sign up for any of that? Sounds like you have a co dependent nature and like projects.

You moved in way too quick. This should not have been done before the one year mark.

Find someone who does not have so many issues, and one that you do not have to support.

Do you usually support your partners?

You've been used, pure and simple. Now that he has money he doesn't need you anymore. You should dump this loser and find a nice guy who will love you for being kind and considerate.

She was being a doormat! She should never have put herself in this position. She is not his mother.

OP, you need to address why your are attracted to men with so many issues. Consider some therapy for low self esteem.

He lost his job in April and you have been financially supporting him ever since?

For a short relationship, there are an awful lot of problems with this picture.

The problem with allowing another adult to become your dependent is that it also builds resentment--both ways.

I'd decide how well it serves me to decide that I've been used. What would that buy me?

If your support of BF has been voluntary, then it was a gift, not a contract. If you'd prefer to think of it as a contract, then negotiate an amount of payback from BF, and see whether it's more satisfying to view BF as 'owing' you.

He needs to be independent. You are acting like his mother...

maybe your relationship will improve.