Should I have a talk with manager

I’ll be quick. I’ve worked at a retail clothing shop for about 3 years. I currently work there on the weekends and I have a full time job during the week somewhere else. Now I’ve always been known at the shop to pick up extra hours often times when someone else calls off. Even with my full time job at another place, they will still call me to see if I want to work or pick up shifts during the week. I usually say yes as I don’t have a problem with it plus it gives me extra hours.

On Sunday, I told my manager at the retail shop that I wouldn’t be picking up any extra shifts this entire week because I would be on vacation from the full time job and would like to just enjoy it by doing nothing. She said ok. However she texted me yesterday asking me if I wanted to come in for today. I said no but I was just more annoyed than anything. I feel like by asking me to come after I had specifically told her I wasn’t going to was a total disregard of what I said. I feel she isn’t taking me seriously. I want to just casually mention to her that I felt was did was disrespectful so it won’t happen again but don’t know if I’m just being dramatic.

It’s also important to note that I only do this job for fun and it has no bearing on my professional career or financial state. Also, yes I could just say no when she asks me again but that doesn’t solve the issue. I don’t want to hope she gets the hint. I’d rather address it and move on.

There is no "casual" way to tell someone you feel they are being disrespectful, particularly when it's your manager.

If she asks you again, keep saying "no". She will get the hint.

And yeah, you're being a bit dramatic. How hard is it to text back "no"? It doesn't take long.

I always say, worry about important stuff. And don't let yourself get so annoyed about this that it ruins your time off.

I did tell her no. Saying no isn’t the issue for me. For me, I’d rather just say how I feel rather than hope she gets the point. I don’t feel thats the adult thing to do and just saying no doesn’t address the issue. Eventually if I keep saying no and she doesn’t get the hint she’s going to eventually ask me anyway why I stopped picking up shifts after 3 years. The conversion is going to be had either way is my point.

Oh, please. Why are you taking offense? My wife employs people and their schedules change all the time. We've had people say they were busy, and then when we called them, tell us things fell through and they're happy we called. Maybe you would have gotten bored with your vacation and wanted to pick up an extra few hours. It is the Christmas season, you know. Retail dies after New Years. There's no harm in saying no. Nobody was disrespecting you! At least they were thinking of you. You may be doing it for fun, but the store manager has to fill shifts or not make sales. Get annoyed over important things.

Nah, don't take it personally. Speaking from my own experience trying to crew shifts, you ask everyone who comes to mind and hope one sticks. I definitely don't remember 100 when people have given me advanced notice of unavailability

Ok but I told her that I specifically didn’t want to come in or pick up any extra shifts this week. I said it just like that. I’m not scheduled to come in during the the week anyway. They just depend on me too much. And I get asking people but if someone told you they’ve werent coming in, asking again seems rude to me

Still think you're reading in to it too much :-)

Just say no thanks and get back to taking that well earned free time

Ok so let’s say I keep saying no. I’ve been taking these shifts for 3 years and now I’ve randomly stopped. It’s out of character of me to do so. They’ll eventually ask me why I stopped, then what?

I felt was did was disrespectful so it won’t happen again but don’t know if I’m just being dramatic.

Yes, dramatic, because you have the choice to view this as simple offer in case you've changed your mind rather than as some big insult to you.

When they offer shifts, it's a 'opportunity,' not an obligation. I wouldn't allow this to sour one more second of my mood.

EnjOy your vacation.

You solved the problem by saying no. Let it go. You could not respond or have a vacation auto-reply. Perhaps she was in a pinch, who knows. Why create a confrontation when you already deal with it?

I told my manager at the retail shop that I wouldn’t be picking up any extra shifts this entire week.However she texted me yesterday asking me if I wanted to come in for today. I said no but I was just more annoyed than anything..

Employers are not interested in how you "feel". Time to get out of the mindset that they need to take your "feelings" into consideration when making their schedules.

Sure, go ahead and tell her you think she's rude and disrespectful and see how many shifts you are able to pick up in the future. Seems like they've been accommodating your schedule and asking when they need your help. How is that rude or disrespectful?

This can be viewed as a good lesson in how business operates, or you can choose to nurse hurt feelings. Your choice.

I don’t need any of these shifts. I don’t even need this job. That’s what people don’t understand. Everyone here is commenting as though I should be so grateful for these extra shift offers to this part time job I don’t even need. I only do it for fun but feel lately they are taking advantage of my kindness. They aren’t “accommodating” my schedule. They’re lucky they even get my weekends. I’m one of the few employees they can count on which is why they always call me. If they had this option to not give me shifts as you suggest then they wouldn’t be asking me to work shifts even after I told them I wasn’t taking them. People are mistaking that I need them when it fact they need me wayyyyyy more.

So, you apparently already decided that you are going to tell this manager she is rude and disrespectful. No one (so far) has agreed this is a good idea, but you are vigorously defending your choice.

So, go ahead!

I mean, I'm confused why you asked when you seem to have already made up your mind.

And if you don't need this job and your manager is rude and disrespectful you could always resign.

You're creating drama where no drama exists.

You told her you'd be on vacation. She asked you if you could take extra shifts, after you had told her you'd be on vacation.

A simple "No, remember, I'm on vacation, so I can't take extra shifts" text would have sufficed.

You seem to be taking this way too seriously.

Did you specifically ask not to be contacted? Fill out a form to book the time off?

If it was casually mentioned and not formally done then I don't really see the point of bringing it up?

Just next time make sure to say you do not wish to be contacted during that time. Or find another part-time job with more reliable staff so you don't have to keep covering.

I mean, you understand there are people who actually like to take on extra shifts/hours for the sake of the additional income, right? Well, perhaps not "like to," but for whatever reasons need or would prefer to. You earn yourself a reputation for coming in for odd additional shifts and there's no way they can or should discern between whether you're playing martyr or if you're trying to make a few extra few bucks for the pay period. I don't see any reason to take it personal.

People are mistaking that I need them when it fact they need me wayyyyyy more.

Honestly, raise a stink if you want to. If this is how eventful life is for you, I'd seriously consider using your vacations / time off more wisely. I can tell you for a fact that when I tell a place of employment I'm going on vacation or taking time off, I don't proceed to read or respond to workplace messages in the meantime. Doesn't really help your cause of separating the two.

I don’t need any of these shifts. I don’t even need this job. That’s what people don’t understand. Everyone here is commenting as though I should be so grateful for these extra shift offers to this part time job I don’t even need. I only do it for fun but feel lately they are taking advantage of my kindness. They aren’t “accommodating” my schedule. They’re lucky they even get my weekends. I’m one of the few employees they can count on which is why they always call me. If they had this option to not give me shifts as you suggest then they wouldn’t be asking me to work shifts even after I told them I wasn’t taking them. People are mistaking that I need them when it fact they need me wayyyyyy more.

Flawed logic.

They pay you to provide a service. You accept money in exchange for that service.

They don’t need you anymore than they need anyone else to do that service.

Just say you don’t want the shift.

Bol, I’m going to take a step back. I’ll admit I’m getting a little too emotional right now. Sorry for that. If we go back to my posts, I never mentioned that my manager herself was rude or disrespectful. I actually have a great level of respect for her and think she is a great person. I just feel this action was rude. I can separate actions from the person. From my perspective, I already do a lot for this store. When I fill in it’s usually to work another 5 hours after I already worked an 8 hour shift at my other job. I come in on short notice, stay longer than was told and help other employees. I spoke with my manager about my upcoming vacation several times and how excited I was to not do much. I told her the last I saw her that I was just tired and wasn’t going to be taking shifts. To me, being asked to come in after I’ve already told her I wasn’t seems like she either wasn’t listen to what I was saying or doesn’t care. I get it’s not her job to care but I still don’t like it nor should I have to. Yes I could just stop coming in because I feel salty but what does that solve? Nothing. Let’s say I stop coming in which would be out of my character since I’ve been doing it for 3 years..When they ask me why, what do I say? I don’t want to quit as I love this job for the most part and the people I work with. It’s like a family. I know it doesn’t happen most places so I consider myself lucky in that regard. I love this job but that doesn’t mean I want to be taken advantage of.

You've received post after post of advice to simply do the following:

Let your manager know that since you've already told her you're on vacation, you're unable to take extra shifts. Period.

Who gives a rat's a** why she's still asking? Just tell her no. And add a "Vacation auto-reply" if you need to.

She's not stealing your boyfriend. She's asking you if she can pay you more money to work a few extra hours.

Why can't you respond to that advice?

I could just stop coming in because I feel salty but what does that solve? Nothing.

Another thing not going in could contribute to is instead having a reputation for... not going in. Generally makes people less inclined to ask and bank on you going in.

But if you want to talk tangible results, what good would it be to throw a fit like you're a 3-year old who just got asked to put their shoes on for a second time?

You're overthinking this, OP and creating problems where there aren't any. Honestly.

Despite you having told the manager you were taking the week off, they most likely reached out to see if by chance you changed your mind.

If you confront the manager and accuse them of being disrespectful, you're only shooting yourself in the foot. Consider how this will affect you in the long-term. In the manager's mind, it was an innocent request.

Don't do anything you'll regret. Keep it in perspective.

My situation isn’t quite that simple. I didn’t mention it because it didnt seem relavent but my manager isn’t just manager. She’s also my friend who texts me about things outside of work. I couldn’t just not respond to her. Yes I agree I could just stop taking the shifts and if I hated this job that’s what I would do. However I don’t want to be that type of person who just randomly stops taking shifts and leave the staff guessing why I stopped. I’ve been doing it for 3 years and if I just stopped everyone would take notice and ask me why including the managers. My issue is I know that if i don’t have the conversation, the managers will bring it up.ill have to talk about it eventually is the problem if I keep working here and I don’t want to quit. I know my posts sounds whiny but I’m literally trying to do the adult thing here

Next time simply say you will unavailable from then to then. Sounds like a lack of communication.

....enjoy it by doing nothing.....

I know my posts sounds whiny but I’m literally trying to do the adult thing here

The adult thing to do would be to respond to now, probably a dozen posts asking you the following:

Text her with a brief "I'm on vacation as I've told you, so I won't be able to take on extra shifts".

All the rest is, your words, whiny.

As I mentioned previously, I already told her no. However I’ve read everyone’s posts and taken them into consideration. Thanks for the replies