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Thread: The tangled web I weave

  1. #21
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    The proof is in the pudding where your priorities are. You don't respect your husband, but you like living off his money.
    I call full bs on 'I'm still living there for the sake of my daughter, and until I can save up."
    That's not for your daughter. That's for you, so you can continue to not be responsible for yourself, continue to have all this free time to feel sorry for yourself and fool around.

    You won't have time to be getting involved in all this if you were working and building a life for you and your daughter.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Boston, MA
    I'm a little late getting in on this thread, but this guy thinks he's Hugh Hefner. It's all about the sex for him. You're having "feelings" for him, which is why you're confused. You're mixing love and sex together. The other woman uses him just for sex. I guess that's why she's not jealous about sharing him. But I think with your home situation, you're really looking for a boyfriend and not a sex toy. You use a sex toy, you don't fall in love with it.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    You get over him by realizing that, to him, you are but one of many options. He's got two of you on the go that you know of, and if he lives elsewhere, he's probably got a couple more play-things to keep him warm at night there too. This is the type of man who will get sex wherever he can.

    You don't have the special place in his heart and mind that he does in yours. Thus, you won't be able to sting him the way you want. He just doesn't care that much.

    One thing you need to keep in mind too, and I don't say this to be unkind: he knows you are not who you say you are, either. You say that he knows you are honest. But OP, you are not. He knows that. All of this is happening behind your husband's back, I gather, so telling your crush you are honest is pointless. When your behaviour contradicts your words, he won't take you seriously anyway. That's probably why he keeps trying with you, because he already knows you will deceive others when it suits you, and therefore might just give in to him and have a secret no-strings tryst. You're an easy target for him, in other words.
    Last edited by MissCanuck; 12-06-2018 at 04:18 PM.

  4. #24
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    its called rebound.

    the most important thing for you right now (for the sake of your child!) is to focus on moving out and finalizing the divorce. next would then be to HEAL and get over the rebound/mourning period of your failed marriage and settle into your new life as a divorcee co-parenting a childís life.

    once you have that down.. and are completely emotionally over the divorce and whatever baggage you absorbed from that relationship.. THEN AND ONLY THEN... can you start considering dating again and another relationship. (how crazy is it that so many of us want to and try to jump into another relationship while in the midst of a relationship weíre failing in? makes no sense does it?)


  6. #25
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    OP, do you really find it flattering when someone sends you pics?

  7. #26
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Originally Posted by confused994
    Iíve been numb in my marriage for 2 years due to some unfaithfulness on his end. Now of course he wants to try and fix it all this time later but Iím broke.
    well -- you are not THAT numb if you have an infant daughter. You weren't too numb to make a baby with your husband. I don't think you are telling the whole truth -- i think that you got a little thrill out of this guy after being bored from staying at home, not having made friends in your new town, being resentful for moving, dealing with postpartum stuff, and sure, if your husband was unfaithful - but has been faithful for over two years and has tried to/wants to go to counseling with you - its just easier to latch onto some guy and get some kicks rather than wade through the muck that is sometimes marriage. Why not cut all ties with this playboy (i think you want to be caught if he works with or for your husband) and be more honest -- do some volunteering or go to networking meetups in your field (there are even "coworking spaces" that have childcare) to have appropriate grownup conversations. That way you are not looking for someone to rescue you. I think that if you made the decision to have a baby with and move to another town with your husband you should at least go to counselig. If you split, you will at least need to be amicable coparents

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