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Thread: He has a daughter....

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by maew
    OP come on now... she didn't just "fall" pregnant, your BF got this girl pregnant. It's very concerning that he (and you) would not only blame her for getting pregnant but also not take responsibility for his kid.

    It astounds me that this mentality still exists in today's world.
    I came here to post the exact same thing!

    No one "falls" pregnant.

    He put his unprotected penis in her vagina, willingly.
    She accepted said unprotected penis, willingly.

    To say that one "falls" pregnant removes responsibility. It creates a word distance that is simply inaccurate.

  2. #22

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    Iíve just worded it incorrectly of course they donít. I did respond to that if you read back. There are two sides to the story.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    He's really irresponsible, that's the message you should get here.

    He slept with a woman he barely knew, HE took advantage and she got pregnant. Then instead of taking responsibility he has her leave and doesn't seem to care that there is a child out there that HE created.

    It makes no difference what this woman's motivations were, your boyfriend has unprotected sex and got someone pregnant. That's on HIM.

    I find it terrible that he doesn't seem to give a hoot that this child exists and he's not paying child support nor keeping in her life. She didn't ask to be born but she still deserves his support, even if it's just financial.

    He doesn't sound like a nice man at all. Who get's a stranger pregnant (nevermind possible STD's and then doesn't take responsibility?)

    That would seriously bother me if I were you.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    He's really irresponsible,that's the message you should get here.

    He slept with a woman he barely knew, took advantage and she got pregnant. Then instead of taking responsibility he has her leave and doesn't seem to care that there is a child out there that HE created.

    It makes no difference what this woman's motivations were, your boyfriend has unprotected sex and got someone pregnant. That's on HIM.

    I find it terrible that he doesn't seem to give a hoot that this child exists and he's not paying child support nor keeping in her life. She didn't ask to be born but she still deserves his support, even if it's just financial.

    He doesn't sound like a nice man at all. Who get's a stranger pregnant (nevermind possible STD's and then doesn't take responsibility?)

    That would seriously bother me if I were you.
    Same. 15 years ago I met a guy at a religious retreat. On our first date he told me his ex girlfriend was pregnant and that he did not want to marry her (she would have married him). He was awkward about talking about responsibility and I gleaned that there was some trickery on her part (she was 40-ish and told him she was taking the birth control pill and she likely wasn't -but I emphasize that he refused to place blame). Anyway, his plan was to stay involved in the child's life. And he did as much as possible given that they were not together. And that is why I ended things. Because I realized I couldn't handle him being a new dad (including sleeping over at her place) and all that responsibility and I wasn't sure about stepmotherhood. But if he'd said he wasn't going to be involved in the child's life I would have been nauseated and that would have been our last date (and likely our last contact -not sure I could develop a friendship with a person who could do that to a child). His daughter is now a teenager. I see on Facebook and through my contact with him that he is very much involved in her life -and IMO that is how it should be if at all possible.

    I shared this not to make it about me but to say I relate to the complexities. I cannot relate to a person abandoning his own child in the way he is. Your guy might be a "good person" in certain ways but he is leaving his daughter father-less on purpose. I also agree- hope that you don't "fall pregnant".

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  6. #25

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    Originally Posted by nutbrownhare
    If she does, she won't be a little girl any more. It will be more than sixteen years from now, and I promise you your situation will look very different to today!
    [QUOTE=SherrySher;7075038]He's really irresponsible, that's the message you should get here.

    He slept with a woman he barely knew, HE took advantage and she got pregnant. Then instead of taking responsibility he has her leave and doesn't seem to care that there is a child out there that HE created.

    It makes no difference what this woman's motivations were, your boyfriend has unprotected sex and got someone pregnant. That's on HIM.

    I find it terrible that he doesn't seem to give a hoot that this child exists and he's not paying child support nor keeping in her life. She didn't ask to be born but she still deserves his support, even if it's just financial.

    He doesn't sound like a nice man at all. Who get's a stranger pregnant (nevermind possible STD's and then doesn't take responsibility?)

    That would seriously bother me if I were you.[/QUOTE

    Did you read my other post?

    I think you are being harsh but to be fair thatís your opinion but please read everything.

  7. #26
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    He put his unprotected penis in her vagina, willingly.
    She accepted said unprotected penis, willingly.
    We don't know that. Condoms break, a reaction with an antibiotic can stop the pill from working, IUD's can fail.... again, I'd be wary of jumping to conclusions without knowing the facts.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Yes, read the update.

    Well, it sounds as though he tried. Though I still find it irresponsible of him to be having sex with someone and not use condoms. He still barely knew this woman as a couple of months is nothing.

    Either way, if this child comes and looks for him one day, I hope he will welcome her with open arms. He is her dad and she deserves to know him.

    To be honest though, I would wonder what he did that made this Romanian woman want him gone that badly. It's not usual to end things like that, nor try to hide away from someone like that or now want him apart of the babies life.
    That part of the story seems to be missing.

    I doubt you'll ever hear the full version but that personally would make me wonder.

  9. #28

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    I wouldnít say heís just abandoned her if youíve read my other posts she has pushed him away and went back to Romania he was depressed for some time due to this but sheís made it clear she doesnít want him in there life.

    And for the record I canít get pregnant lol but thanks for your concern.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Kb007
    They werenít trying but probably not preventing either....
    I did read the update, above. All that was said was that they "probably" were not preventing. Unless I'm missing something, I stand by my original assessment, but I'll add the word "probably":

    They both had willing, unprotected sex...."probably".

  11. #30

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    Your right we donít know her side. Iím here because Iím staying with him regardless but wanted to put it out there to vent I suppose. How do you know he didnít use protection lol I think you are being very narrow minded and putting your own idea as to what you think the situation is.

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