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Thread: Complicated attraction? Help - Iím so confused!

  1. #1

    Complicated attraction? Help - Iím so confused!

    Long story short, I have fallen for my boss (Iíve known him for almost 8 years) Itís complicated between us as Iím 15 years younger and well his my boss, and a few other matters. I swear the past 2 weeks I have noticed signs there might be something there (we make eye contact randomly, when we talk he looks at my lips sometimes, when I pass something to him our hands touch for longer then normal, when we talk he stands super close, we are comfortable to talk about anything around each other). We were at our Christmas function on the weekend and unfortunately I drank too much and donít remember, however other staff told me that we were slow dancing for over 30 mins (just like you would Iím high school!) and apparently it was a special moment. Iím so confused it hurts.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is your boss married? It's understandable that getting drunk, sloppy and hanging on your boss at a Christmas party is quite embarrassing, but just go into work as usual and forget about it. It will blow over and you most likely won't get fired for flirting, etc.

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    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Is he married? In a relationship? Are you in a relationship or married?

    You KNOW you're playing with fire and would do well to back off. You don't mess around with your boss.

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    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    I already think it's dangerous territory to date colleagues but even more dangerous to date bosses. I'd avoid this and treat him as I'd treat any other person at work.

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  6. #5
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    It's a seriously bad idea to get involved with your boss. Even if the feelings are reciprocated, and you're both single. It will make your professional life very difficult, and if there's a breakup then probably one of you will have to leave. (Hint - it won't be the boss!)

    View the recent event as being one of those things that happens when you have too much to drink, don't mention it again, and get on with your work.

  7. #6
    Gold Member maew's Avatar
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    As someone who has "dated" a boss in the past (I know, I KNOW) I can tell you that it's nothing like the romance novel you are describing above... "dating" or actually dating your boss is absolutely filled with pitfalls.

    If you are at all serious about your career and he is serious about his, you put all of this at risk by having a romantic relationship with him. Everyone will look at you differently and will DEFINITELY look at him differently for choosing to engage in sexual activity with someone he is in a position of power over... not just at work but also due to the age gap. Think of the #metoo movement and whether or not this would be worth it to either of you.

  8. #7
    Bronze Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    it's not complicated at all. it's very simple. he's your boss. WALK AWAY!
    Not only are there legal implications (sexual harrassment, etc.) but think of how work will be if you get into a big fight or a bad breakup. This is why often HR has rules AGAINST dating co-workers and especially boss's and their employees.

    you've known each other for 8 yrs but you think 2 weeks makes something (after 8 yrs?)

    walk away. you don't want this type of hassle and stress and complexity in your life. Especially with yoru JOB and career on the line.
    walk away.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sadpanda101

    Ö.however other staff told me that we were slow dancing for over 30 mins (just like you would Iím high school!) and apparently it was a special moment.
    As your boss, HE was stepping over some very serious boundaries engaging in that; frankly I am shocked he would being it was a company party where others could witness, etc.

    Good lordie what type of company is this? Doesn't sound very professional.

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    Everyone saw you slow dancing together for 30 minutes? Yikes! Has he said anything to you since?

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    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Wow! I know alcohol is no ones friend. But he is your boss! He shouldn't have done that at a work function.

    Just hope he isn't married.

    Just be careful... It depends on how much you like this job if you want to pursue it.

    My aunt's boss always had a thing for her. He was much older and she didn't feel the same way. It made their work relationship so awkward.

    Just imagine how awkward it would be if you went forward with trying to date him and it doesn't work out!

    Just be careful :)

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