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Thread: Am i overthinking? Partner wants to go away alone

  1. #21
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    I have no problem with time apart he was away fishing for 4 days 2 weeks ago and hardly communicated ..i didnt care at all

  2. #22
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pocketrocket
    He also thinks i should trust him regardless what his brother does.. he feels he shouldn't have to tell him no chics allowed camping with the boys
    I can actually see your point here. He can't control his brother. And he isn't his brother.
    However, he could have a reasonable boundary with him of asking the brother to please not bring women who he is cheating on his girlfriend with around him to camping trips.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    I can actually see your point here. He can't control his brother. And he isn't his brother.
    However, he could have a reasonable boundary with him of asking the brother to please not bring women who he is cheating on his girlfriend with around him to camping trips.
    Exactly what i think
    It hasnt happened since i have been around but my partner said it happened twice before
    He doesn't say anything now because its been over a year and half since it happened but he does take girls when he goes camping alone ..

  4. #24
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Your boyfriend will cheat if he wants to.

    It doesnt matter what his brother does.

    Leave him alone and let him go.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pocketrocket
    Exactly what i think
    It hasnt happened since i have been around but my partner said it happened twice before
    He doesn't say anything now because its been over a year and half since it happened but he does take girls when he goes camping alone ..
    I think there's no need to worry if it's not happened since you've been with him. Maybe he did deal with it in his own way.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Get over it or dump him. He didn't choose his blood. Do you think his brother shows up with a Russian harem to entice your boyfriend or something?

  8. #27
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    So... Ill be honest... this is not something I would automatically be ok with...

    Situations that I would absolutely be ok with:
    - if he wants to go away for a day to fish and clear his head (we all need this from time to time)
    - going for a weekend away with his buddies
    - going early and meeting up with his buddies in a day or so
    - this is a known /established thing for him (ie: in the last 15 months of knowing him, hes talked about other times he has gone off and done this)
    - its just a natural fit with his personality (ie: hes outdoorsy and independent, introverted, always talks about fishing, etc)

    All those things I would be ok with.

    ... but if this is a break from his personality (ie: hes super outgoing and normally wants to be around people) and its not something hes ever talked about doing... yes... i would be highly suspicious. NOT because of his brother (thats irrelevant) - but because its uncharacteristic of him.

    Context is everything.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pocketrocket

    ... he was away fishing for 4 days 2 weeks ago and hardly communicated.
    Second multi-day trip alone within 2-3 weeks to a place with no reception?

    As I posted, no problem taking time away from each other but that's a bit weird.

    You've been dating 15 months, has he always been so into fishing or is this a new hobby?

    And are these multi-day trips alone standard for him, or also something new?
    Last edited by katrina1980; 12-05-2018 at 11:35 AM.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Second multi-day trip alone within 2-3 weeks to a place with no reception?

    As I posted, no problem taking time away from each other but that's a bit weird.

    You've been dating 15 months, has he always been so into fishing or is this a new hobby?

    And are these multi-day trips alone standard for him, or also something new?
    He loves fishing very passionate about it .. has all the gear for big fish etc
    He went 2 weeks ago with his dad and brother so not alone
    He is on 3 weeks holiday and wants to fit more fishing in before returning to work

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Pocketrocket
    I trust him but the brother has turned up before with random chics.. i wasnt on the scene then
    So?

    If your boyfriend is trustworthy, who his brother happens to show up with should not pose any threat to your relationship.

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