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Thread: She blocked me suddenly :(

  1. #1
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    She blocked me suddenly :(

    I met a woman online and started messaging her there. She then gave me her phone number and we started chatting and texting. Things went well and we met for the first date. During the 1st date she repeatedly asked me how I was single for such a long time. I am 43 and never married, she is 38 and divorced. She also asked me other questions like if I smoke, drink, etc. Regardless, the date went well and we continued to talk.

    We again met for the 2nd date and this date also went well. She was just a few days away from going on a trip to India to meet her family. Couple of days later I asked her if I can drop her at the airport. She was very glad but said she has to drop her dog off at the care center and declined my offer. Then she brought up the fact that I don't have a pet and I won't feel comfortable with her dog around.. then she mentioned that she is vegetarian and I am non-vegetarian.. then she slowly started asking questions again - do you smoke, do you drink, when was your last serious relationship, why you didn't have a girlfriend for such a long time, etc. At one point I got frustrated and we got into a minor fight. She said we should end things as I don't feel comfortable answering her questions. I then called her and somehow patched up things and we decided to continue.

    For the next 2 days I texted her and she responded like how she usually does.. then I did not hear from her suddenly. I called and it went straight to her voicemail. I thought she must have started her trip to India already. I again texted her after her supposed return back to US but I did not get any responses. I first assumed that she may have postponed her return.. then I started to get very worried as it was now 1 month (her trip was only for 12 days). Yesterday I got very worried and called her.. it kept ringing for a while and then went to her voicemail.

    Today she texted me and said that she had actually blocked me for a few days. I was shocked and asked why she did that and she says that we should not be talking any more. She feels that it will not work out because she has a dog and I don't, she is vegetarian and I am not..

    I feel very confused now and wondering what to do.. I also feel very hurt about her decision to block my number. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
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    I feel very confused now and wondering what to do.
    The only thing for you to do is to respect her desire not to see you anymore, not contact her ever again, and meet other people.

    She couldn't have been more crystal clear. She's simply not interested.

    I know this hurts, and I'm sorry. It was 2 dates, not 2 years. Let it go.

  3. #3
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    Thanks. I don't understand her decision to block me.. I feel its cruel

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    She's not interested in you. Her reasons sound like BS to me but maybe they are real to her. Whatever, you need to leave her alone, she's made herself pretty clear. Stop trying to contact her.

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  6. #5
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    Iím sorry Op that what sheís done has caused you grief. As someone whose not wanted to be with guys and told them I didnít whatever reasons they may be, then got harassed by other means. I advise you to leave it be. If she blocks you and says you should no longer talk then thatís what you do and you move forward.

    Other fish in the sea

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Iím sorry Op that what sheís done has caused you grief. As someone whose not wanted to be with guys and told them I didnít whatever reasons they may be, then got harassed by other means. I advise you to leave it be. If she blocks you and says you should no longer talk then thatís what you do and you move forward.

    Other fish in the sea
    Thank you..

    It's so easy for her to find dates. There will be guys lined up in her inbox.. but for men its so difficult, especially at my age. I have been on that online site for 8 years and this was the first time I was able to get to the 2nd date with a woman. and now its gone and I don't even know what mistake I made :(

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by SilverFactory
    Thank you..

    It's so easy for her to find dates. There will be guys lined up in her inbox.. but for men its so difficult, especially at my age. I have been on that online site for 8 years and this was the first time I was able to get to the 2nd date with a woman. and now its gone and I don't even know what mistake I made :(
    My guess is, it's not a mistake that you made, but rather a mismatch that she realized.

    She brought up 3 things, twice: the fact that she has a dog and you don't, the fact that she's vegetarian and you're not, and the fact that she's divorced and you're not.

    Chances are, she's looking for similarities, and she just didn't find enough.

    You go take your non-dog, meat-eating, single self out there and find yourself another date.

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    It seems to me she has some very strict lifestyle choices, and it is very important to her that her potential mate feels the same. You never stated whether you drink or smoke to those of us here on the board. Did you avoid and skirt the issue with her as well? Smoking is a deal-breaker. Drinking is a deal-breaker to a lesser scale. Pets or no pets can be a deal-breaker. Vegan/vegetarian (or whatever version thereof) vs. a carnivore can be a deal-breaker. She's from India. Does she have strong religious views and dietary restrictions related to those views? It seems to me she does, though she focused on other issues with her 20 questions. I think she realized that for as a nice a guy as you may be, there is a high level of incompatibility. If she is this strict in her dietary and lifestyle choices, she should probably state as much on the profile or not pursue a date with someone who doesn't clearly state those same views up front. It will spare a lot of time.

    My guess is you smoke or used to smoke, maybe an occasional social smoker. I'm pretty sure you drink. You may only drink socially or on occasion, or maybe you're a heavier drinker, I don't know, but you drink, and it's something you're not willing to give up entirely. You don't have a dog. You don't mind dogs and even like dogs, but you're not terribly keen on living with them. Is she religious? Are you? Are either of you willing to convert?

    There are lots of issues here, OP, and I think she has determined that you are not the guy for her for various reasons that she is unwilling and unable to bend on. She's nipping it in the bud before it gets more intense and the breakup becomes so much worse. I promise you, there will be major fights over these issues, as you seem to be very opposite in many ways.

    Leave her be, and move on to someone who aligns better with you. I understand how hurt you feel with her blocking you, but at least she came forward and officially put an end to it. It stinks, I know, but the writing is on the wall. She has too many hills to die on.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by purplepaisley
    It seems to me she has some very strict lifestyle choices, and it is very important to her that her potential mate feels the same. You never stated whether you drink or smoke to those of us here on the board. Did you avoid and skirt the issue with her as well? Smoking is a deal-breaker. Drinking is a deal-breaker to a lesser scale. Pets or no pets can be a deal-breaker. Vegan/vegetarian (or whatever version thereof) vs. a carnivore can be a deal-breaker. She's from India. Does she have strong religious views and dietary restrictions related to those views? It seems to me she does, though she focused on other issues with her 20 questions. I think she realized that for as a nice a guy as you may be, there is a high level of incompatibility. If she is this strict in her dietary and lifestyle choices, she should probably state as much on the profile or not pursue a date with someone who doesn't clearly state those same views up front. It will spare a lot of time.

    My guess is you smoke or used to smoke, maybe an occasional social smoker. I'm pretty sure you drink. You may only drink socially or on occasion, or maybe you're a heavier drinker, I don't know, but you drink, and it's something you're not willing to give up entirely. You don't have a dog. You don't mind dogs and even like dogs, but you're not terribly keen on living with them. Is she religious? Are you? Are either of you willing to convert?

    There are lots of issues here, OP, and I think she has determined that you are not the guy for her for various reasons that she is unwilling and unable to bend on. She's nipping it in the bud before it gets more intense and the breakup becomes so much worse. I promise you, there will be major fights over these issues, as you seem to be very opposite in many ways.

    Leave her be, and move on to someone who aligns better with you. I understand how hurt you feel with her blocking you, but at least she came forward and officially put an end to it. It stinks, I know, but the writing is on the wall. She has too many hills to die on.
    Yes, I have stated the details clearly in my profile on the dating site. Before giving her number she asked if I smoke and drink and I answered her truthfully.. which is - I don't smoke, I drink on social occasions. She also knew that I was non-vegetarian. It was only after this she even gave her phone number to me. I am from India as well and belong to the same religion as her but from different caste (hence the veg/non-veg differences).

    When the dog issue came up I was again honest and said that I have never had pets BUT I can become comfortable with a dog. So I am not sure how this is an issue..

    Her place is almost a 2hr drive but I drove all the way for the 2 dates.. I also offered to pick her up from her place (2 hr drive) and drop her at the airport (another 1.5 hr drive). and after all this she just blocks me :(

  11. #10
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    The issue is you said you donít want to be around her dog.

    And, presumably, that you want to eat meat around her. Or have her cook it maybe?

    Both are valid.

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