What happens after a one night stand?

I had my first ever hookup with a guy from Tinder a few nights ago. We watched a movie at his place, hooked up, etc. So what usually happens after? Is it a bad sign if he doesn’t contact again or is it the norm that there’s no reason to text a one night stand again? Thanks!

well.. if it was truly a “one night stand” and that was the agreement going in.. then the name says it all.. it was a 1X deal and that’s it. have a good life.

if it wasn’t clearly agreed upon as a “one night stand” (but then again it must’ve been for you to even say “i had a one night stand”), then ask the question and find out if they’re interested in seeing you again - and clarify under what premise they are interested in continuing to see you.

its always important to make it clear if it’s not rather then let it dwell and be left to wonder and then get hurt.

good luck

.....well....it's called a one night stand precisely because it's a one time deal. So nothing happens after a one night stand. No calls, no texts, no talking, no dates, just nothing. It's just one and done.

What do you want to see happen? Hookups? FWB? Dating? It's ok to contact him if you want to hook up again.

I had my first ever hookup with a guy from Tinder a few nights ago. We watched a movie at his place, hooked up, etc.

I know this isnt on topic, but you went to a strangers house the first time you met him? Werent you concerned for your safety?

No, because we have a mutual friend!

Well a one night stand is just that.

You chose to enter into this. Knowing it is a ONS. It also comes with no contact after.

Get swiping again and find the next one.

I think that's the pattern.

You have to jump in knowing there is no "after". I know friends that have and once they have that mind set they are fine.

Don't take my word as I've never done it before just basing it on friends.

Well it’s not a good or bad sign. At its core one night stand means one and done. He could choose to contact you again for another round or you may choose to, but based on this post I’d say you probably aren’t cut out for this.

No, because we have a mutual friend!

So now you're going to get a lecture.

I don't care if you have 52 mutual friends.

You should not go to someone's house the first time you meet them. It's dangerous.

Edit — I should clarify, neither of us explicitly made it clear that this was a one night stand beforehand. I assumed it was because the nature of the “hangout”. What I’m asking is if it’s normal to never contact them again or do they usually resume contact?

You are jumping the gun here, I ensured I spoke to my friend about him to see what he’s like, and it checked out.

Edit — I should clarify, neither of us explicitly made it clear that this was a one night stand beforehand. I assumed it was because the nature of the “hangout”. What I’m asking is if it’s normal to never contact them again or do they usually resume contact?

If they enjoyed the sex and want more, yes.

If not, then no, you won't hear from him.

How long since the date that he hasn't contacted you? "A few nights ago"? What do mean by "normal"? Do you want to see him again or not? If so ask him to out on a date. How did you leave things off? There are a lot of one-and-done dates whether you have sex or not. It's up to you to follow up if you are interested.

That means go out again if he contacts you or wait "a few days" and ask him out. Never develop the mindset that as soon as you sleep with someone it's over, unless that's what you intended. And again, that's up to you. It's not about "normal".

What I’m asking is if it’s normal to never contact them again or do they usually resume contact?

Edit — I should clarify, neither of us explicitly made it clear that this was a one night stand beforehand. I assumed it was because the nature of the “hangout”. What I’m asking is if it’s normal to never contact them again or do they usually resume contact?

I would lean more towards them never contacting again, simply because you signed up for a ONS, rather than dating in order to decide if you're relationship material, compatible, etc.

JMO...

If the nature of the date was purely sexual, I wouldn't be expecting them to contact again. They can do so or you can contact them for another round, but usually these things don't last long. If you're not cut out for one night stands and get attached after sex, I wouldn't recommend having sex on the first dates without having an idea of where things are going.

My ex and I had sex the first night we met, it wasn't even a date!

I thought it was going to be a one night stand, would never hear from him again (which I would have been fine with albeit disappointed cause I liked him), but he surprised me and phoned (not texted) the next day and asked me out.

We were together six years after that night.

That being said, our RL was based primarily on sex. That was the glue that held us together, for six years, we lived together the last two, were happy, but again, sex was the primary connection between us.

In retrospect, our RL was quite distant (emotionally), we never developed the closeness and intimacy that is so important (in my opinion) to a happy and healthy, mutually rewarding RL.

I don't know if that was attributed to the VERY early sex, or just our respective natures in general, but I am thinking it may have been because of the early sex.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes sometimes a RL can develop after a one night stand, but if/when that happens, try to maintain a balance between good sex and emotional intimacy, which is what I have now with my current.

Try to not make it ALL about the sex.

Oh in terms of having sex the first night and not expecting a relationship it definitely can happen.

I have two stories...

Old School Friend - she had a one night stand with this guy. He was a friend of a friend. Was only ever meant to be a one night thing.

Couple weeks later she finds out she is pregnant. Contacts him...

They are still together 4 years on with a beautiful little girl.

Not your average one night stand story.

Friend from a previous job - she met her now husband at a house party. Her friend introduced her to him. He was on tour with his band. They end up back at his hotel...

A month later they end up on a "first date" when he was touring where she lived. They met and spend 3 days straight together.

The week later her flies her out to Paris for their 2nd date.

Been together 5 years. They got married in the summer.

She went back to his hotel that night and said she thought she would never hear from him again.

These are very extreme stories but it does happen.

Like someone else said. If you had fun then reach out and guage if he wants fun too. Then meet again :)

Well, a lot of guys don't want to look desperate, so you might hear from him in a week. A lot of girls are like, why didn't he call me the next day. So there is a disconnect between the sexes. But, hey, there's no reason to wait. You can call him and ask if he wants to hangout this weekend.

Nothing usually happens after a one night stand - that's what it is, one night. If he wants more sex, he'll no doubt call you. If not, you won't hear from him again.

I don't think you should think of it in terms of a category or a label -it's individual. You met up with someone and chose to have sex the first time you met. So any of a number of things could happen -you can contact him if you want to have sex again, or want to ask him out on a date, or some combo of the two and he can do the same. You can call him to invite him to a group outing, or not. Or you can decide not to contact him or not to respond if he contacts you. I don't think polling other people who have had sex the first time they met really will give you any useful information. I know of one married couple who had sex the first night they met, I know of many people who've had sex and never met up again and sometimes it was a date and sometimes a first meet and sometimes neither. I know of too many women who agree to have casual sex with someone the first time they meet and find a way to label the guy as a jerk because she doesn't hear from him again. I don't get it, but ok.

Hopefully you enjoyed meeting him and enjoyed the sex. If you want to see him again, get in touch with him -why are you waiting for him to contact you? I can see if you went on a date with him or a first meet to get to know him as a person and you wanted a traditional dating arrangement or potential relationship so you preferred that he call you but that ship has sailed IMO -you already agreed to meet up with him at his house -no effort on his part -and had sex with him so I wouldn't try the traditional route after all that.

why not text or call him or however you communicate and tell him you had a great time.

Then its up to him if he responds or asks you out again,

In otherwords, don't make it a one night stand.

But seriously - i agree with Batya - don't make the first meet a Netflix and chill. Meet someone in public.

Because it prevents one night stands - you can NEXT someone if you don't click.

Or if it does end up being someoe you really end up liking, they are not lulled into "no effort dates" right off the bat.

You know, I’ve had a handful of men on the dating site I’m on essentially come right out and invite me over ‘to chill’ or to ‘cuddle’ and I always thought, who the hell does this work on?!?!?!

Not because I’m judging you having sex early, been there done that got the T-shirt. But because it’s dangerous. I’m going to ignore the fact that you originally said you met him on tinder and Assume your friend vouched for a dude to Netflix and chill with? If so I don’t know that her ‘safety threshold’ is all that high. Please be more careful next time.

As for what to do about this guy, call him, you’ll get your answer quick, he will either be receptive or he will avoid you.

I still don’t think this is something but you’re cut out for.

You know, I’ve had a handful of men on the dating site I’m on essentially come right out and invite me over ‘to chill’ or to ‘cuddle’ and I always thought, who the hell does this work on?!?!?!

 

I did as well fio, it was mind boggling actually - first text would be hi, second text would be "let's hook up'! And this wasn't Tinder!

I would be like I prefer to text a bit before meeting and they would argue saying "what's with girls wanting to text prior, let's just meet and hook up, come on"!

Like seriously dude? Does that approach actually work for you?

Apparently does otherwise they wouldn't continue it.

I think the fact the OP is even asking what happens afterwards suggests she's invested more than a one night stand.

I also agree with you fio about just texting him, suggest something outside the house, his answer will tell you everything you need to know.

You know, I’ve had a handful of men on the dating site I’m on essentially come right out and invite me over ‘to chill’ or to ‘cuddle’ and I always thought, who the hell does this work on?!?!?!

 

Not because I’m judging you having sex early, been there done that got the T-shirt. But because it’s dangerous. I’m going to ignore the fact that you originally said you met him on tinder and Assume your friend vouched for a dude to Netflix and chill with? If so I don’t know that her ‘safety threshold’ is all that high. Please be more careful next time.

 

 

 

As for what to do about this guy, call him, you’ll get your answer quick, he will either be receptive or he will avoid you.

 

I still don’t think this is something but you’re cut out for.

Me too. I mean, do girls actually do this??? Apparently so.

And yes, my post earlier was about the danger. In this day & age, going to someone's house because you have a mutual friend??? So scary.

You know, I’ve had a handful of men on the dating site I’m on essentially come right out and invite me over ‘to chill’ or to ‘cuddle’ and I always thought, who the hell does this work on?!?!?!

 

Not because I’m judging you having sex early, been there done that got the T-shirt. But because it’s dangerous. I’m going to ignore the fact that you originally said you met him on tinder and Assume your friend vouched for a dude to Netflix and chill with? If so I don’t know that her ‘safety threshold’ is all that high. Please be more careful next time.

 

 

 

As for what to do about this guy, call him, you’ll get your answer quick, he will either be receptive or he will avoid you.

 

I still don’t think this is something but you’re cut out for.

Same here and I never went but a male friend would tell me about women who came over at all hours. And one of my friends did that right after she got divorced and didn't have sex -hooked up -but she was in that sort of "wow I'm single!" frame of mind and luckily the guy was cool with whatever happened or didn't. My sense is that in that case he was fine either meeting at his place or anywhere else and she chose his place which is a bit different.