Stuck In The Middle

Hey everyone. So I have two best friends and they’re currently not speaking to each other. I wanted to ask for advice and see what y’all think. So my best friend Lily has a daughter who is 2 and she and my other friend Ally had to go somewhere. Well lily didn’t have a car seat with her and she didn’t ask to go get it either so she just tied her daughter in the back and sat with her daughter. Well they ended up getting pulled over. Well my friend Ally got a ticket because Lily’s daughter wasn’t in a car seat. Ally said that Lily felt bad about it so she suggested to pay half of the ticket. My friend Ally didn’t like that at all, she wanted her to pay it whole since it was her daughter and she didn’t bring a car seat or ask to go get it. What do y’all think about this??? These are My two best friends and I’m kinda stuck in the middle.

Stay out of it. Let the two of them work it out.

I’m not trying to decide who to side with I just hate that they’re not willing to work it out /:

+1 for “stay out of it”

They are both right and they are both wrong, IMO

Lily (with the child) put Ally in a bit of a tough spot, especially if Ally doesn’t have kids. It’s very awkward to tell someone you won’t drive their kid without a car seat. There is a valid argument for wanting Lily to pay the ticket.

That said, I’m guessing Lily probably has some financial troubles if she doesn’t have her own transportation and a child. It IS the driver’s responsibility to respect the rules. Legally, the ticket is Ally’s. And do we know why Ally got pulled over? I doubt it was a random car-seat check. She probably violated some rule of the road, etc.

Anyways - at MOST - when the dust settles, I might say “ok... I understand your point of view - but is it worth it to throw away the entire friendship over $50 (or whatever half the ticket is)?”. I would say that to both of them.

... but otherwise, stay out of it. You should be Switzerland (neutral). Not your problem.

The best way to get into a huge fight is side with either one of them. Stay neutral and let them work it out.

To be quite honest, both of them were in the wrong and both of them were irresponsible. They both knew better to not drive a child without a car seat.

As for who pays for the ticket, let them fight it out amongst themselves.

I agree. They have to work it out. You don't have to choose between them.

Yep - I'm another one who says you should let them work it out between them. For what it's worth, if I were Lily then I'd be offering to pay the full cost of the ticket. And legally it's Ally's responsibility anyway - but morally? This can go round and round in circles, so let them get on with it.

Maintain your friendship with both of them, but don't get drawn into any discussion about tickets....

Excellent. Irresponsible patents deserve tickets and then some. It's amazing still how many distracted lazy irresponsible parents still leave kids in cars or do crap like this.. They are both wrong. The driver should never have let a child passenger be in her vehicle without a child seat and the mother is also a moron for being this lazy and reckless with an innocent child's life.

Hopefully you are a better smarter parent than these two idiots arguing over money/tickets when they rightfully got a ticket for endangering the welfare of a child which they both did. The not so smart driver driving off like this and the lazy equally not to bright irresponsible parent.. It's too bad they didn't impound the car and arrest both of them. sigh.

they ended up getting pulled over. Well my friend Ally got a ticket because Lily’s daughter wasn’t in a car seat. Ally said that Lily felt bad about it so she suggested to pay half of the ticket. My friend Ally didn’t like that at all, she wanted her to pay it whole since it was her daughter and she didn’t bring a car seat or ask to go get it.

Every driver is responsible for the degree of stupidity they're willing to bring onto public roads. However, the consequences of pointing that out would most likely be getting kicked out of the trio after those two kiss and make up. I'd skip that, I'd socialize with each friend separately, and my ground rule would be that we can speak about anything else in the world except for the other friend.

I'd point out to each friend that my unwillingness to hear or speak badly of the other demo's to them that I'm also unwilling to hear or speak badly of HER.

Whether or when the two reconcile would remain outside my scope to influence--which means I'd spare myself the outcome usually waged against 'messengers'.

Head high, it's not your problem.

I'd stay out of it and be thankful that your friend's child was not hurt or killed. All else equal I think the parent should pay.

what’s their friendship worth to each other? we’ll find out. i suggest you STAY OUT OF this one.

In the end Lily should offer to pay for it, but Ally shouldn’t expect to her to pay for it because Ally is ALSO at fault for knowingly driving without a car seat. That was HER responsibility to make the choice to drive with or without the seat or refuse to drive without the seat. In the end, the ticket is under Ally’s name so Lily is not obligated by law to pay anything - that she made a gesture was nice of her. (Although her gesture should have been to pay it all).

They’re both being dorks. It’s THEIR friendship. Let them handle it. You stay out of it.

Having a close to 2 year old it makes me shudder to think about this level of irresponsibility. I side with everyone though, it’s best to stay out of this.

Thanks everyone. I’m staying out of it but continuing my friendship with them. So far, they aren’t speaking to each other /: I hope it all works out because we have been best friends since high school. Again, thanks guys!!