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Thread: I kind of confessed when we were intoxicated

  1. #1
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    I kind of confessed when we were intoxicated

    Hi guys so I'm new to the forum and I badly need an advice. I'm a girl, had long and short term relationships with guys before. I recently transfered to another company, made a few friends and etc. I met this girl at the office and I instantly felt comfortable around her, one time I asked her if we can have a few drinks after work and she said yes, we talked and she confessed that she's bi but currently dating a guy, not a relationship though. I didn't care about it by then but as I grew closer to her something in me felt like I want to be with her. I had a relationship with a girl before but didn't work out and only lasted for a few months (I was young, and wasn't open, plus I was pressured with having my own family by people close to me, right now I can honestly say I dont care what people say anymore) the girl I like right now know this too, we talked about it when were having drinks. So here's the thing, and what happened, we had a party in our office - her and I had a little too much to drink - I came in late though. I could not control myself right there and I was kind of all over her, when she talked to guys I had moments like telling her to just come stay beside me and stop talking to them (lol I was so clingy idek) and then she said "youre such a jealous girl are you!?" I let it pass. When our workmates told her to go home as she seemed as though tired, thats when I couldnt help myself - I didn't want her to go. I just got there. So I was holding her arm and told her to not go, I just came here to see you. She then held my right hand, grabbed my left until we were facing each other.. I told her look me in the eyes I want you here.. her eyes were locked on me idk if shes puzzled or something but she kept looking at my lips, she put her hand on my waist, cheek and I swear I could have kissed her, but I kept it to myself and instead looked away and just bit my lip. I couldnt kissed her since there were people around us, that weren't aware of my feelings. I then felt her hand again on my waist, my face, and calling me babe. I told her I want you here please stay.. then she suddenly said she likes someone else. I said I dont care. She didnt respond. I told her can I bring you to your place at least? (I honestly just wanted to be alone with her in the car and talk) but she said "I cant bring you home" while looking down. Thats when I stopped and she took Uber and I went home too as soon as shes gone.

    I really like her. But I don't know if I should pursue this. I'm conflicted with the way she acted that night and the thing she said that she likes someone else? Did she misinterpret the thing that I said "Can I bring you to your place? I didn't wanna have sex with her. I just wanted us to be alone and her to be safe going home. I was more in my senses that time, alcohol wore off.

    When I got home I sent her a text saying, "I'm sorry if I caught you off guard, I hope you got home safe" she then responded "hey relax, we're still going to have drinks soon" I just replied "I'm not even drunk". The next morning she said good morning with a smiley face and i said to you too.

    Guys, I've never been in this situation, any advice? Does she even like me too? or she just acted that way due to alcohol in her system?

    Insights and advices will be greatly appreciated.
    Last edited by purxred; 12-02-2018 at 11:33 AM.

  2. #2
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    I would leave it for now, OP. Especially since you work together.

    She isn't giving you much of a green light here. Granted, you were being pushy and she probably recognizes that the liquor got the best of you, but don't pursue anything if she doesn't otherwise give you a signal that she is interested.

    Whether it's because she's dating someone, or likes someone else, or because you are coworkers, she drew a line in the sand that night. Heed that.

  3. #3
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    You know, these things happen at Christmas parties. I think she was clear that she's currently in a relationship. I mean, you tempted her and put yourself right in her face. Sure, she likes you, but keep telling yourself, she's in a relationship and she's trying not to step over the line here.

    Just back down. Don't push the boundary again. You can be friendly, but not that friendly. And if you can't control yourself, you might have to find another friend and keep your relationship more professional.

  4. #4
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    Okay should I at least apologize to her for pushing the bounderies or just let it go? Part of me wants to come clean, but I'm not sure if I should just see how things go while I keep our relationship professionally. Its hard to avoid her, I can just see her in the floor anytime. I dont know how to act around, I dont know what shes thinking, but its definitely not like before anymore

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  6. #5
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    You already apologized for catching her off guard. I would just leave it at that now. There is no need to come clean, as I am sure she now knows how you feel about her. Your words and actions made it clear. She isn't reciprocating at this point, so I would not try to take the conversation further.

    At work, you have to simply keep things professional. You don't need to freeze her out or anything, but follow her lead. Given that this is a coworker, you don't want to inadvertently make her uncomfortable in the workplace if she doesn't feel the same way about you. That could come back to bite you otherwise.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Just relax and let it blow over. She's dating someone. Don't chase people in other situations you'll just be disappointed or get hurt.
    Originally Posted by purxred
    she's bi but currently dating a guy, not a relationship though.

  8. #7
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    Don't bring it up again to her. What happens at Christmas parties, stay at Christmas parties.


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