Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: Signs that a girl likes you more than a friend

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    7

    Signs that a girl likes you more than a friend

    I have been in contact with a girl for around 6 months and met her 1 month ago as friends. It's incredible how many things we have in common and how well we get along, although we come from two different worlds. So far we have spent 10 full days together traveling (including nights in separate rooms). We now speak to each other almost every day and she finds time to hang out with me almost every chance she gets, while also going out of her way to create these sometimes. I'm infatuated with her, but have trouble identifying if she is interested in me due to the points below. Since I have never been in a relationship before (Yes! and I'm 29), I am no expert in this field. This is why I need your help.

    Thanks to anyone who responds to this post!

    1. Avoids touch. We don't greet when meeting or leaving in any sort of way. I have never offered a hug, and she hasn't either. I have offered my hand many times at difficult spots when climbing, but she has declined 9 out of 10 times. Once, I grabbed her by the shoulder to push away from a dangerous situation, and I felt that she cringed a bit (maybe reacting to the situation). She almost always sits about 1 feet from me and sometimes prefers to sit beside and close to me at restaurants rather than in front (about half the time). Keeps long eye contact, smiles a lot around me, acts playful / jokes, but never touched me to even poke after making fun of me, except the accidental hand touches. I am afraid to touch her since most of the time we're out of nowhere and don't want to make her uncomfortable and feel pressured. Should I start giving hugs when she's leaving from now on to see how she reacts?

    2. Doesn't talk about past relationships or relationships in general, but talks about marriage and having a family with future Mr. X (no one at the moment) quite a lot. I have brought this subject up lightly in relation to others (my friends), but she showed no interest in the topic.

    3. Makes herself vulnerable around me, but shuts off somewhat early at night (around 9pm). I assume most relationships start with physical intimacy, perhaps within 2-10 dates and I'm afraid that we may pass this point soon and just settle for a friendship or make intimacy even more awkward to come by. I have acted as being open to this by inviting her to my space (while traveling) twice at night for menial reasons, but she declined (maybe to my specific offers, or to the idea of invading my space, or ultimately to show no interest in me beyond a friendship). She also had a reason to share a room with me once, but she didn't bring up that idea and pretends that's not an option. She is okay having a drink with me though. Her personality is that she wants me to take control of everything, as well as make the decisions. But, I am afraid to put her in a very uncomfortable situation at a time she doesn't expect, especially since there were no signs from no. 1 and 2 points above.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,244
    Gender
    Male
    Unfortunately it sounds like she sees you as a friend. It's good you have tried to get her to date you, however she keeps declining any sort of that type of advance. If you want to be more than a male-girlfriend to her, stop hanging out this much.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    7
    Thank you for your response. I too feel this way and the reason why I have never made any advances. I am curious to know why you think that hanging out less might help (or figure out) in being more than a friend?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,516
    Gender
    Female
    Your relationship has an expiration date unless it moves to a romantic one. Your future gf won't accept you hanging out with and communicating with a woman you have a crush on. The signs from her suggest she likes the ego boost that you have a crush on her, but just isn't into you. You can either take a chance and broach the subject of dating, or let this friendship lessen in intensity for you since it can't last the way it's going now.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    7
    Originally Posted by Andrina
    Your relationship has an expiration date unless it moves to a romantic one. Your future gf won't accept you hanging out with and communicating with a woman you have a crush on. The signs from her suggest she likes the ego boost that you have a crush on her, but just isn't into you. You can either take a chance and broach the subject of dating, or let this friendship lessen in intensity for you since it can't last the way it's going now.
    Hi Andrina, thank you for the reply. I wouldn't say she feeds from an ego boost from me having a crush on her although it might just be an ancillary thing in this case. However, I must mention that she has a huge advantage in hanging out with me for a period of time in terms of a convenience she gets (not monetary based). So, this is my fear that she takes advantage of me, but I am okay with that to a certain degree since this "relationship" has improved me in many ways. What would you say is the expiration date for a romantic relationship? Maybe 10 dates as friends is too much?

  7. #6
    Gold Member ApocalypseDreams's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    990
    Gender
    Male
    I agree that she likes you as a friend. It seems to me that she's avoided any situations that might give off an impression that she wants more (such as avoiding physical contact).

    I'd say that the window that someone would potentially date someone is usually pretty brief (within the first month or two of meeting them).

    If you are happy with the friendship as it stands, I'd accept her friendship. I think there's value in having female friends if you are not experienced relationship wise. However, you need to set some boundaries on the friendship to avoid being used. And hey, being friends with a woman opens up the potential to meet other women.

    I wouldn't do this in the hope that you change her mind, but backing off and meeting other women can sometimes spark a woman's interest. I think you should do this regardless though.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,516
    Gender
    Female
    I'd probably be honest with her. Maybe say: To be honest with you, with spending all this time together and having such a good time, I'd like to give dating a try but I'm not feeling the same vibe from you.

    Then give her a chance to respond. If she says she just wants to be friends, you can say: We can, but let's mellow out on the daily contact, cause I think it'll help me out to just think of you as a buddy.

    In the off chance that she feels the same, you can go from there. If she doesn't, like I said, it's best for you to make changes now because this little bubble of bliss, on your side anyway, will come to an end. When she gets a new bf, you will be placed far back on the back burner, so make the decisions that are best for yourself now before you fall deeper and don't waste time with someone who doesn't have similar relationship goals. No, you don't totally have to cut off the friendship, but daily contact and so much togetherness should lessen if she isn't interested in you romantically.

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    7
    Originally Posted by Andrina
    I'd probably be honest with her. Maybe say: To be honest with you, with spending all this time together and having such a good time, I'd like to give dating a try but I'm not feeling the same vibe from you.

    Then give her a chance to respond. If she says she just wants to be friends, you can say: We can, but let's mellow out on the daily contact, cause I think it'll help me out to just think of you as a buddy.
    Thank you for your detailed response and suggestions. So, I must let her know now in order to preserve my energy which could go to waste. I may do that or simply back off after our next planned outing.

    Thanks for everyone else who responded!

  10. #9
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    606
    i agree with the others that i believe there is no interest from her side.

    BUT...

    if you want to know for sure you are going to do 2 things and judge her reaction and you will know.
    1. make an advance. ask her out with ZERO DOUBTS or left to the imagination that it is a date, and that you are interested in a relationship with her, not a friendship. This needs to be VERY CLEAR with zero doubts. See how she reacts. (this is because she is an old fashioned girl - “guy is supposed to lead and do everything” - so these women won’t come after you or even show interest ... ).

    2. after asking her out or having that date and making an advancement (meaning a kiss on the lips... ) - even if she refuses. Dial it back and become less accessible to her. Wait for her to come to you and even play hard to get if she does come after you. Do this for a bit and see how much she starts coming to you and how she treats you then.

    I am currently dating a very similar female. Very independent, strong, needs to prove she’s just as able/strong as a male - even taking control. She has even made a point to say “we’re not going anywhere quick” and “we’re not serious or anything that happens between us doens’t mean we’re going to be serious”... and she’s very traditional. the guy has to do initiate everything (which is a very WEIRD dynamic for me.. is she independent or does she want the man to do everything? lol)

    So.. i said fine. i’m just going to dial it back and not chase her. And guess what.. now she’s chasing me! she’s against public affection and affection in general and last night she jumped hoops to come see me and was extremely affectionate with me publicly and initiated it all.

    how weird is that?

    So first ask her out and “act like the man she says she wants” and see how she reacts. If she acts interested and reciprocates there - she likes you.

    If she acts like she doesn’t then dial it back and stop chasing and convincing her about you two as a couple and see if she starts to pursue you. It probably means she likes you but has a need to keep up a certain “image” or reputation (even if it’s only in her own head).

    Good luck and let us know how both go.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,404
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by tiktiktok
    I have offered my hand many times at difficult spots when climbing, but she has declined 9 out of 10 times. Once, I grabbed her by the shoulder to push away from a dangerous situation, and I felt that she cringed a bit (maybe reacting to the situation). She almost always sits about 1 feet from me and sometimes prefers to sit beside and close to me at restaurants rather than in front (about half the time). Keeps long eye contact, smiles a lot around me, acts playful / jokes, but never touched me to even poke after making fun of me, except the accidental hand touches. I am afraid to touch her since most of the time we're out of nowhere and don't want to make her uncomfortable and feel pressured. Should I start giving hugs when she's leaving from now on to see how she reacts?
    Don't impose yourself on her. She enjoys your company, but isn't ready for more.

    You've been considerate so far, and I'm sure she appreciates it.

    You never know, things could change in the future.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •