Does remaining no contact make me immature and difficult?

Hi all. I am currently healing from a LTR. Bad breakup- he immediately married new girlfriend within 10 months. The breakup was difficult and as a way to help myself heal I have initiated No Contact. Since he got engaged, we have only exchanged 3-4 emails that were very formal.

We do have legal matters to clear up regarding real estate... but i have expressed i would prefer third party contact.

It has been a year and a half since we broke up.

He attempted to phone me out of the blue. Messaging a mutual friend when i didnt answer. Told her he was calling "to have a chat".

He expressed that he thinks my unwillingness to communicate is immature and that it was "time for me to get over it". He also suggested that my refusal to talk was more about me "not being over him".

While i am still very much healing from the intense heartbreak... i honestly didnt recieve the calls because his number is blocked. He is married. I don't believe i owe him anything. I prprotect myself and my well being by having these boundaries. I am just doing my best.

Any thoughts on this? is NC 'unfair'???

No it is not at all immature to go NC. You are asking for space - your own space. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Of course not, he’s throwing a fit because he doesn’t get a front row seat of your recovery or get to use you to soothe his own guilt or possible need for an ego stroke. Think about it, at its core, he expects you to rip the bandaid off and expose yourself to him for his benefit, there’s literally no need to ‘chat’.

Good for you.Stand your ground.

This is the best option. He's full of it. You do not need any contact except to deal with the real estate issues.

We do have legal matters to clear up regarding real estate... but i have expressed i would prefer third party contact.I

 

t has been a year and a half since we broke up.He is married.

Echoing all of the above.

What you're showing is maturity. You know your needs, your worth, what you want to let in or not. Sorry, dude, you don't get a key to that gate anymore.

Your healing is what's most important. His feelings, in general, about whatever choices you make, are meaningless.

Stay strong.

It's totally fine. You don't owe him anything. You don't have to chat with anyone you don't want to. It's not immature or a sign of anything except you keeping the past in the past where you want it.

You're fine. I'm not always a huge fan of NC but in your circumstances you're doing exactly the right thing.

What he's doing now is working, unfortunately.

He's trying to smear you by calling you immature, which is causing you to question yourself, which is causing you to come to this board and ask the question.

You had a heartbreaking breakup. He was likely cheating, or he probably called it "overalapping", just another word for cheating.

He has now gotten married.

Now, he wants to keep you on his back burner, should his new wife not work out. Methinks he's already seeing the cracks there, so he wants you lined up, so he can overlap you with her.

But because you didn't respond, he's calling you difficult and immature, which causes you to question your own sanity, your own worth.

He's gotcha now. He's got that space in your head that you had previously blocked.

Please tell your friend to either block him, or if she doesn't want to block him, that she/he should never again mention his name to you. I don't care if his house is on fire.

If your friend refuses, and wants to continue to reach out, then block that friend, as that is not a true friend.

You are not difficult. You are not immature. He's a cheating scumbag of a loser, and you are doing it right to stay NC.

This is also known as gaslighting, and unfortunately, it's working.

Your boyfriend is playing mind games with you. Don't talk to him. Keep him blocked. You're handling everything correctly. If he wants something, then let him go through a third party. Don't stoop to his level. He's married. He shouldn't even be contacting you.

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. I was confident in my intuition that im doing the right thing by enforcing these boundaries. I have no rreason to contact him. Sometimes i think they can smell when you start to move on and think about them less.

Can you translate what your thread title means, please?

It wont let me fix the title. Does remaining no contact make me immature and difficult

It wont let me fix the title. Does remaining no contact make me immature and difficult

I fixed the title for you.

Does remaining no contact make me immature and difficult?

No, it's mature and difficult to manipulate.