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Thread: Ex got in touch

  1. #1
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    Ex got in touch

    Hello.

    I broke up with my ex 14 months ago, to start with I did everything you shouldn't do. Wrote letters sent flowers begged and pleaded and well did everything wrong! Last week out of the blue she text me, just to let me know someone she worked with knew me growing up?! Bizarre. We text for a couple of days, not much but held a conversation. Yesterday I just thought ring her so I did. She answered and we spoke on the phone for 4 hours. It was actually really nice, we laughed and joked and it felt good again. She stated she wants me to meet someone and be happy?! I'm taking that as she doesn't want me back at all. I now don't know how to play this?! Do i try to keep the contact going or just stop! Help please

  2. #2
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    Just know that she's friend-zoned you. She can deal with you as a friend, but not as a boyfriend. So she can talk with you, maybe she might meet up with you and hang out with you, but she's not going to be your girlfriend. She's moved on. You need to move on as well.

  3. #3
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    Errrrrr...... not sure on that one. We hadn't spoke for 6 months. I was doing ok. Still love her.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    No contact. You haven't healed yet and have feelings for her and she sees you as a friend. If it'll hurt you when she funds someone and tells you, then it's better to keep distance. You're not ready to be friends and you're on on the same page as hers.

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  6. #5
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Sounds like she has got over the whole relationship aspect of you two.

    If she wanted you back she would not say she wants you to be happy with someone else.

    There is not many ways you can play this.

    You can chose to be her friend and prevent yourself from healing. Or take a step back. Leave with dignity like you didn't the last time. Maybe you brushing her off may make her want you! We all want what we can't have...

    That said you need to just move on.

    14 months is a long time. For you to still be holding a flame for her.

    Personally I would focus on you and getting out of this situation.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Agree with the above.

    There is nothing to "play" here, and your use of that word is troubling. You're likely creating a game where there is none.

    Ninety percent of the time when an ex tells you they hope you find happiness with someone else what they are saying is that they hope you are over them. It's a sideways means of saying: "We're cool now, right? Past is past." It's also, often, their way of feeling out if you're seeing someone because they are seeing someone.

    The other ten percent? It's an ex looking for a little attention. Trying to trigger something like, "I don't know if I'll ever be as happy as I was with you." Because it feels very good to hear people say that, even if it's not what you want.

    Because if it's what you want? No, you don't say these things.

    The healthy response to this whole thing, from what you've written, is to accept that you're not over someone who is over you and keep on healing.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Just stop talking to her. It's not going to work out for you as you still have feelings.

  9. #8
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    Just picture this ..... You carry on in the hope she wants to be with you again and she carries on treating you like a friend . One day she will mention another man , maybe even pick your brain for advice ..because you're a friend ......Do you want that ?

    Walk away mate .....if she wants to rekindle this she will soon let you know .

    Edit to say .......there is a tiny tiny part of me that wonders why she bothered to get in touch just to say what she did ...please don't take that for more then it is , I am not encouraging you buddy or setting you up to be hurt ....but yeah , I do wonder .

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    Just picture this ..... You carry on in the hope she wants to be with you again and she carries on treating you like a friend . One day she will mention another man , maybe even pick your brain for advice ..because you're a friend ......Do you want that ?

    Walk away mate .....if she wants to rekindle this she will soon let you know .

    Edit to say .......there is a tiny tiny part of me that wonders why she bothered to get in touch just to say what she did ...please don't take that for more then it is , I am not encouraging you buddy or setting you up to be hurt ....but yeah , I do wonder .
    She said that to make sure he didn't get his hopes up that she wanted HIM back just because they had a conversation. IMO

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    She said that to make sure he didn't get his hopes up that she wanted HIM back just because they had a conversation. IMO
    I still wonder why she bothered to contact him ...regardless ...

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