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Thread: Ex got in touch

  1. #11
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    I contacted exes when I was feeling lonely and wanted someone to pay attention to me. Once I stopped feeling lonely I ghosted.

    Not proud of that behavior. I've stopped it.

    But it never "meant" that I wanted them back or still loved them.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I contacted exes when I was feeling lonely and wanted someone to pay attention to me. Once I stopped feeling lonely I ghosted.

    Not proud of that behavior. I've stopped it.

    But it never "meant" that I wanted them back or still loved them.
    yeah that's more along the lines of what I meant which why I followed my comment with a * don't let me raise your hopes * type of thing to him .... I think she was doing exactly something like that .

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What was the reason for the breakup? How long were you dating? Sorry to hear this, since you still care. However unfortunately this remark "She stated she wants me to meet someone and be happy" indicates she's over it and sending friendzone breadcrumbs. Best thing to do is pull back and don't take it as more than the "you're a nice guy" type stuff.
    Originally Posted by yorkshireguy84
    I broke up with my ex 14 months ago. Last week out of the blue she text me, just to let me know someone she worked with knew me growing up?! Bizarre. ?!

  4. #14

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    She contacted you after a long time - definitely a good sign. Ask her for a date and pay attention to her answer to get a better understanding of her feelings.

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  6. #15
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    Quick update..... she came and stayed the night and everything was like we was back together. Even the next day we laughed and joked, she asked if I was dating anyone and asked a lot of times!! She saidnshe was confused and she needed space i left her alone and a week later she got back in touch again. Now she's saying she doesn't think we can carry on talking. But then talks about all the good times we had together. I feel like I've split up again and starting to get a bit needy with messages etc. I do still love her.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by yorkshireguy84
    I feel like I've split up again and starting to get a bit needy with messages etc. I do still love her.
    Sorry this is happening....Reopening the wound....

    Sounds like she has some sort of feelings for you but I think you should just carry on as you are....She's definitely confused and on the fence...Could go either way....

    If you go back into any sort of trying to force anything she'll probably run off again....

    Sometimes I think about what I would give for just one more night with my ex, but reading your thread reminds me of why it's best I don't....!

    Again, sorry this is happening...

    Carus*

  8. #17
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    Stop, just stop.. If you love her, then let her go. Let her live her life.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by yorkshireguy84
    Quick update..... she came and stayed the night and everything was like we was back together. Even the next day we laughed and joked, she asked if I was dating anyone and asked a lot of times!! She saidnshe was confused and she needed space i left her alone and a week later she got back in touch again. Now she's saying she doesn't think we can carry on talking. But then talks about all the good times we had together. I feel like I've split up again and starting to get a bit needy with messages etc. I do still love her.
    How long are you going to let her do this to you?

    Can you live indefinitely with this back and forth, feeling on top of the world then like the ground fell out from under you? How does sending "needy" messages make you feel?

  10. #19
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    It does make me feel terrible yes. But I have clung onto hope for to long now.

    Hi, I'm sorry but I need to put a stop to this. You know I still love you but I don't think you're going to wake up one day and suddenly be sure you want to be with me, and I can't keep having my hope built up and then crushed again. I was doing OK until you messaged me and now I'm back at square one. I wouldn't swap what happened between us at Hilton for anything, but it does me no good at all in the long run. I would give anything for you to suddenly believe that we can be together, but I don't think that is going to happen. So I have to delete your number and remove you from social media, and I need you not to get in touch unless it's to tell me you are sure you want to be with me. My life has been on hold for too long. I love you x

    I've sent this and got it in my head to cut all contact with her totally. She replied to this simply saying

    I understand all the best x

    More shocked she replied but answers things about how much she cares.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by yorkshireguy84
    More shocked she replied but answers things about how much she cares.
    And it probably stings as well, but yes, it does show that you were right.....

    You will probably grieve a bit again over the next few days or perhaps weeks, but now your true healing can begin....

    ....unless she starts 'testing' you to see if you mean it....

    Be Cautious. Be Strong.

    Carus*

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