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Thread: Update about my SIL

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Update about my SIL

    She called to apologize to my husband. They had a good conversation. She said she felt she should not have to ask for assistance. And he said he has NO problem with helping but please tell him what is needed. She said she has caregiver burnout. And he agreed, and it was affecting their relationship. He said he would be telling his mother they need to accept professional help and suck it up because their present tactic is ruining their kids relationship and burning out their daughter.

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    Platinum Member Realitynut's Avatar
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    That's good to hear. Glad she reached out! Hopefully his folks will listen.

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    Actually, and I have lived through this personally, this is a time when even if they won't listen you have to move forward with bringing in other people. We are supposed to honor our parents, not accommodate their every whim, and they need help. So they are going to have to work with their children instead of just insisting.

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    That's really fab news vic and sounds like it was all aired <3

    I echo what arjumand said in a way ...you know this anyway , but I had to put my mum in a 24 hour care home , she joked all her life , * don't you put me in a home * , and there I was ...doing it ...It is frightening what old age can bring .

    Anyway vic , so glad she called with an apology xx

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Realitynut
    That's good to hear. Glad she reached out! Hopefully his folks will listen.
    I am sure they won’t . They are stubborn as #%>€€. His parents have been living on their own and doing things their own ways since they were like 15 . They will have to be forced into this decision . Who knows maybe her part of the plan is him forcing them and them getting mad at him .

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by arjumand
    Actually, and I have lived through this personally, this is a time when even if they won't listen you have to move forward with bringing in other people. We are supposed to honor our parents, not accommodate their every whim, and they need help. So they are going to have to work with their children instead of just insisting.
    I hope my MIL works with them but slim chance. And up until a few years ago my husband and his sister were treated like total morons by their parents . All their lives they were told ,”just sit there we know what we’re doing you don’t “ I was literally shoved out of my own door away once by her at one of my own dinner parties so SHE could say goodbye to my friends because she felt I was too stupid to do that . She actually physically shoved me out of my door away so SHE could play hostess .

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    That's really fab news vic and sounds like it was all aired <3

    I echo what arjumand said in a way ...you know this anyway , but I had to put my mum in a 24 hour care home , she joked all her life , * don't you put me in a home * , and there I was ...doing it ...It is frightening what old age can bring .

    Anyway vic , so glad she called with an apology xx
    Thanks ❤️

    I think they are going to have to be forced into any common sense .

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    I wish I could take my SIL’s apology at face value. It is sad when you have to look for motives.

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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    That's really fab news vic and sounds like it was all aired <3

    I echo what arjumand said in a way ...you know this anyway , but I had to put my mum in a 24 hour care home , she joked all her life , * don't you put me in a home * , and there I was ...doing it ...It is frightening what old age can bring .

    Anyway vic , so glad she called with an apology xx
    For sure . My mom says this too and jeebus I am literally only 20 years younger than my mom. I don’t know what she figures I will be able to do. PLUS she wants me to adopt my great nephew. And he won’t be grown up until I am in my 70’s. And my knees are already gone and need replacement and I am only 52. My knee pain as I full decade ahead of when she had hers. So......

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    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    She called to apologize to my husband. ... He said he would be telling his mother they need to accept professional help and suck it up because their present tactic is ruining their kids relationship and burning out their daughter.
    Glad to hear this. When he said "he would be telling...", what does that mean? Did he suggest SIL tell them this, or will he tell them himself?

    I'm guessing that this means it was not SIL who's been resistant to receiving help, but rather the parents?

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