I'm ready and he has moved on

Things were very much complicated. I was with my ex boyfriend for 6 years and I had known a guy. We got closer each and everyday and we started off with some Sparks. Back then the guy was married but had a divorce as the wife suggested due to some issues back then. He started chasing me real hard but I couldn't really let go my then boyfriend of 6 years as we were going onto the next phase. But my then boyfriend has eventually found out and we broke up.

While trying to "salvage" the relationship (I didn't know what to do), and started brushing off the guy who has been chasing me hard. I told him to find a new girl because I was afraid of me letting him down but deep in the heart I knew I love him but I didn't want my emotional baggage to similarly be with me if I were to be with him.

The guy eventually texted me and told us that it's time to move on. But from the period that I've officially broke up with my then boyfriend to the news he broke to me, he was still engaging me often, bring me out and make sure I'm ok and happy.

But once he heard the news of my break up, he has completely changed. Not to blame him of course and I would want to settle down my feelings.

Now that I'm ready, he has already moved on with another girl but he wanted me to be his friend. (I officially knew this only a couple of days back). He mentioned he has already treated me as a sister as a best friend that he can confide anything to. But everytime we meet, we hug and kiss one another dearingly. There's no way of turning back and pleaded me to be his friend. He really did put in effort as he rushed down from work to have dinner with me. He fed me with his dinner. I asked for a hug and he gave me. I cried in his arms and told me it's difficult for me to let go but I have to. I felt his hroat gulping down like he's crying (the feeling).

I wanted to stop everything including making cute little stuff, buying what he likes, support him through his hectic workload. He told me he didn't want me to stop making cute stuff for him because it is a form of moral support to him.

But of course as to why I decided to leave was because he lied but he told me he cared that's why he lied to me about going out with his girlfriend.

He still does the following:

- greets me good morning and night

- remind me to have my med when I'm sick

- ask me to drive safe and be safe (when necessary)

- ensure I eat if not he will nag

- ask me to make him cute stuff

I really do not know what to do. Do I wait? What should I do?

Sounds like he's deeply friendzoned you. Your window of opportunity to get together has closed so to speak. You are just a mixture of support and an ego boost to him.

Accept his friendhsip as just that or move on if its too painful and cut him from your life. It's good that your ex boyfriend is also now free to find someone who really loves him.

Do you want more than friendship? He has a gf, even if he is willing to cheat again. Why not leave everyone from this dark circle in the past. make a fresh start with men who don't cheat on their wives and gfs. Find a single guy you can date.

Let me ask you, if he were your bf would you appreciate him reaching out to someone he has had a history with like he does you?

Feel bad for his girlfriend and be thankful he's not your boyfriend.

Write it off to bad timing

This dude is gross, OP.

He has a girlfriend and he gets a little side-action and attention from you. I hate to break it to you, but he doesn't take his girlfriend or you seriously.

You need to move on from him.

How is it that all these guys have TWO girls on the hook and I don't even have ONE guy that will date me right now lol... the world doesn't make sense!

I don't really understand the dilemma to be honest. He is still with another girl and wants to keep you on the hook doing stuff for him, validating his ego. He is basically cheating on his GF with you. Why do you want to be a side piece?

Honestly, he no longer wants you because you are now free to date. You were only fun when he didn't have to invest in the relationship because you were already in one. Its a shame that you cheated on your boyfriend. Stay away from married men and don't be a cheater. and does the woman who is his girlfriend really matter because he still has a wife, right? so she is nothing and you would be the side piece to the side piece

Honestly, he no longer wants you because you are now free to date. You were only fun when he didn't have to invest in the relationship because you were already in one. Its a shame that you cheated on your boyfriend. Stay away from married men and don't be a cheater. and does the woman who is his girlfriend really matter because he still has a wife, right? so she is nothing and you would be the side piece to the side piece

I understood he's divorced his then wife. But yes I agree.

To be blunt, it sounds like neither you nor the guy who was pursuing you has much respect for relationships.

For you, you were in a long-term relationship that was likely to progress, but you were choosing to interact/engage with someone who you knew you had some feelings or sparks for. This was an unhealthy boundary on your part and rather unfaithful to your ex-boyfriend, hence him breaking up with you. Likewise, the idea that you could "love someone" who you didn't really know anything about shows a misunderstanding of what love actually is, which isn't just some passionate desire to be with someone. Likewise, after you had a relationship with your ex-boyfriend end, you chose to immediately pursue the mistake/wrongdoing of yours which caused it to end, and it was disrespectful of you to the guy's wife to choose to get closer to him.

For him, he chose to be unfaithful with his wife with you, then chose to ignore the importance of recovering from a divorce by chasing you, and finally is choosing to disrespecting his new girlfriend by the way he interacts with you.

I follow the rule that any relationship or fling that comes from a place of disrespecting relationships is doomed to both fail and be hurtful. I don't think there's anything you can do, and I don't think you're actually ready for anything. I think it's time to stay single for a long while, go totally no contact with both your ex-boyfriend and this crush, process everything that has happened, and learn from this experience to make your future relationships less likely to go down the same way. You should give up on the idea of being with him, and not wait -- focus on yourself and finding happiness and comfort alone, while preparing for future relationships. Good luck.