Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 9 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 81

Thread: Parents VS Fiancé

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6,403
    Gender
    Female
    You said your fiancé “got mad” at your dad. What does that mean? What did your fiancé do? Did he yell at your dad? Did he drive erratically? Did he punch a steering wheel? How did he show his anger that has your family upset?

    I think it’s relevant... I mean... if you fiancé just shut down and stopped talking, for example, then it wouldn’t make sense for your family to hate him for that?

    I think it would be helpful to understand what your family witnessed to know how to best “reverse” the situation.

  2. #12
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    98
    Right sorry I never mentioned so he pulled over to the side and got out of the truck so my dad could drive and He said things like “I would’ve been able to make it” and “You wreck when people yell at you” but he would say it in an upset way & then my sister would butt in and say “You need to learn to focus” or “WOW okay”

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,060
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Jbabygirl
    Right sorry I never mentioned so he pulled over to the side and got out of the truck so my dad could drive and He said things like “I would’ve been able to make it” and “You wreck when people yell at you” but he would say it in an upset way & then my sister would butt in and say “You need to learn to focus” or “WOW okay”
    Let me tell you a little story.
    My family did not like my ex. They gave him a chance, but then picked up on how he treated me, his shortcomings that were not good for my health, etc.
    They didn't come out and say they didn't, but said to me sometimes "i wish you were with someone where you felt comfortable and happy in your life" etc, and they did share more later afterwords etc. It was true, i was always trying to measure up, walking on eggshells. And anything i did well he tried to learn to be better than me.

    if you have an average family - loving, no drug use or major dysfunction like that -- i would say your family loves you and they are concerened for you. If they said he wasn't good enough because of the color of his skin or the income of his parents, then i would totally be on your side, but in the 2 years you have been with him, he already cheated on you, the bipolar diagnosis -- great if he is getting help, but it could be that they see that you are not totally happy and at ease with him, etc.

    It sounds like he was not paying attention to the road --and dad wanted to drive because your lives are in his hands.

    Choosing someone with multiple diagnosis that is not dealing well - is not the best move.

    Since you have a kid, i would figure out a way to coparent the best way you can and don't marry this man. It sounds like you were pregnant for a good part of your relationship and he may not have been someone you would have chosen if you hadn't produced a baby together. That being said, i would make sure the baby gets as many services as possible before first grade so that you can be on top of things if your baby inherits bipolar disorder, etc.

  4. #14
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    98
    But that’s the thing he treats me good. He takes good care of us. He is there for me through anything and everything. He’s my best friend. He just has a short temper and I know why and how to handle it, it’s just now my parents have seen it so they are assuming the worst which I think is unfair :/ and My dad asked him to drive since we were going somewhere far and he got tired but thank you so much for your feedback

  5.  

  6. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    98
    I do have a loving family but my parents and sister donÂ’t have much right to think I’m being treated bad when they do/go through much worse. My sister has been cheated on twice by her husband & My dad calls my mom names when he gets mad. My fiancE has never laid his hands on me or even called me bad names. I donT see how my family can sit there and talk bad about my fiancé when they do worse.. I guess I’m defensive when it comes to people talking down on my partner because I love him.. who wouldnÂ’t be right??

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,692
    Anyone who had common sense.

    There is not too much good about this man. He uses his mental health as an excuse to act badly and treat you badly. He has threatened suicide. He has gotten together with another girl and was having sex with her and keeping her in the background this whole time.
    He only stopped because you found out.

    Your family does not like him. Are you honestly this desperate? Not trying to be harsh but what in the world would you stay with a man who is this messed up?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,370
    It sounds like a dysfunctional mess! This is not a good environment for your child. I would feel the same as your family.

    Had you sought couples counseling? Is he on meds? Anger issues are scary! You should not have to handle it. He should not be doing it.

    I agree. Do not marry him. Split up and co parent, for the sake of your kind .

  9. #18
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,370
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Anyone who had common sense.

    There is not too much good about this man. He uses his mental health as an excuse to act badly and treat you badly. He has threatened suicide. He has gotten together with another girl and was having sex with her and keeping her in the background this whole time.
    He only stopped because you found out.

    Your family does not like him. Are you honestly this desperate? Not trying to be harsh but what in the world would you stay with a man who is this messed up?
    I can't understand why people settle for this, land bring a child into the mix.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,157
    I'm sorry OP, but your family is unlikely to ever warm up to him. Especially now that your sister knows he's cheated, and the rest of your family will probably one day learn about that too.

    It sounds like they see red flags that you choose not to.

    Not much you can do about that. All you can do is ask them to not make such comments out loud in his presence. The rest, well - if it walks like a duck and you choose the duck, a lot of this is on your fiance.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,262
    Gender
    Female
    I see it, he doesn’t. He is clueless.
    So don't disabuse him of his cluelessness, and then he won't be offended. You can't force people to like someone. If the guy wants to enter your family, then he's going to have to manage his relationships with the people in your family.

    There's no law that says that the people around us need to love our choice of partner. If approval were to be the price of admission to weddings, those chairs would be nearly empty.

    Nobody else is living your love life for you, so nobody else gets a vote. Keep your focus on your own relationships, and credit others with the ability to handle theirs on their own.

Page 2 of 9 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •