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Thread: Going forward with a grievance?

  1. #11
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DanZee
    This was the guy who kept sexually harassing you? File the harassment form. It might not lead to anything, but, hey, maybe it might. You're leaving anyway, so why not file it.
    Maybe you have me confused. It wasn't sexual harrassment.

    She breached so many things like invasion of privacy and then the racial comments I have no written proof of sadly so I'm too scared to push for that.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's important to keep in mind that your company will document everything including your substandard performance and difficulty getting along with people. The reason they do this is to defend themselves against false discrimination and harassment claims filed by disgruntled employees.

    They most likely also have a well paid corporate/employment attorney on retainer who may review your complaints and advise them how to deal with you fairly and legally. It is interesting that they have decided to put you on garden leave, instructing you to stay away from work, which is often used to avoid sloppy work or sabotage by disaffected employees. It sounds like your provocative resignation notice is making your departure somewhat acrimonious.
    Originally Posted by Jellybean9
    I have no written proof of sadly so I'm too scared to push for that.

  3. #13
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    What evidence do you have of racial discrimination?
    Sadly her racial comments were only ever said out loud and not written down.

    There were other colleagues present. But I highly doubt they would want to act as witness as they currently work at the company. So this makes it entirely different.

    I do have dates (roughly) of 7 racial incidents. But again it's all my word and whether not people who were there want to step forward. Doubt they would want to.

    Then there is proof of her invasion to priavcy. She took my unlocked phone from me at work. Proceeded to go to her desk. Only to go into my WhatsApp to text a colleague of ours. She signed the text with her name. I was incredibly uncomfortable with the whole situation.

    She then once in front of the whole office. Again witness based as I was leaving for a date. I couldn't dress nice without her questioning what I was doing that evening. I'm a private person so would never mention my personal life to my manager. She outright asked me if I have stayed over the guys place and had sex with him. I was mortified. I never discuss my sex life to collegues let alone the whole back office.

    She enjoyed embarrassing me like that. Which was fine. A little bit of playground drama.

    I took it even though it made my working environment difficult. It made it feel work wasn't just work anymore.

    It was her last comment she was shocked my mum had an English essentially because of her skin colour. This was the last straw.

    Shs also had poor management skills. Something another colleague had flagged to me.

    So in her absence I decided to talk to the head of HR about these things. As I wanted to continue to work there but not have to deal with those comments. I've told my manager I was uncomfortable many times with what she said but she persisted.

    Also wanted to flag her poor managerial support. Anyway as she is the right hand women to the head of HR. She refused to listen.

    In my resignation letter I mentioned how I tried to voice my issues to head if HR regarding my mangerial support. Mentiong how I have been subject to rude comments. As no one leaves my company to find a better job elsewhere as they are one of the top in their sector in my country. So for the sake of the exit interview I decided to reference it.

    Maybe I shouldn't have. Like you said other people like the drama when it is not their own. My family member who also works in HR elsewhere amended it with those bits as to why I'm leaving.

    I would like to walk away gracefully but essentially the ball is already rolling.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What does this expression mean/imply?
    Originally Posted by Jellybean9
    she was shocked my mum had an English essentially because of her skin colour.

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  6. #15
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's important to keep in mind that your company will document everything including your substandard performance and difficulty getting along with people. The reason they do this is to defend themselves against false discrimination and harassment claims filed by disgruntled employees.

    They most likely also have a well paid corporate/employment attorney on retainer who may review your complaints and advise them how to deal with you fairly and legally. It is interesting that they have decided to put you on garden leave, instructing you to stay away from work, which is often used to avoid sloppy work or sabotage by disaffected employees. It sounds like your provocative resignation notice is making your departure somewhat acrimonious.
    I have no difficult to get along with people. I get on perfectly well with everyone else in my team. Throughout the office.

    My work was never sub-standard as the head of HR only referenced my so cold poor performance when she pulled me in a meeting room during sick leave (breach of their own company policy). This was following me mentioning the poor mangerial support I had been offered.

    I have never caused issues with any other manager or peer during my time with the company.

    If there was a genuine issue with my working performance it woulf have been flagged in my appraisal... It wasn't. This all came out of left feild. I was never told I was "bad" at my job or my work was "s***". Which again was not great use of language for the head of HR anyway. Especially when someone has been signed off work due to "work related stress".

    I've read tonnes of resignation letters from our ex-employees. It mentions if they felt they got a lack of managerial support. Or fed empty promise for promotion and why they are leaving for another company. This points are further expanded in the exit interview. Which is what I would have done.

    They suggested going for the formal grievance. Which is what they would have suggested to all those other people. As it's their protocol to offer that. I have been on the fence since with everyone else saying all I went through I should.

    I decided to state why I was leaving as they know I'm not leaving for another job as I'm not.

    It's a mess and I'm not sure of what else to really do to be fair.

  7. #16
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    What does this expression mean/imply?
    She has made it very clear she doesn't like black people from reeferences she had made to me and another employee.

    So that flagged it in my head before she ever made other comments.

    For the record I have been incredibly lucky in life and never had any references made to me or the colour of my skin. I am fortunate to of been born in a beautiful and accepting country.

    Which is why I have found it difficult dealing with my manager as it's new ground.

    Prior to the incident with my mom. Like a couple weeks back.

    Anyway she asked me outright "Why do I have that surename".

    It's a British surname and I get how it may not match the colour of my skin.

    Found it an odd question as no one in employment has ever asked me in that way.

    I have had friends in my life question if I have Irish ancestry but that's about it.

    I explained how it's from my mum's side of the family.

    Another time she asked indepth questions as to where my parents are born. Which was fair enough... Said where my mum was born. And the fact my dad was born here. Which was all true.

    "She was like no where are your Dad's family from orginally" so I told her and that was that.

    She never asked colleagues around us just me.

    This was all fine I thought she was just getting to know me.

    It was following that she made further comments linked to where my dad was from. Again I brushed it off as I just wanted to get on with my work. I wasn't there to be her friend.

    Last comment about my mum's name. We are on out desks discussing parents names.

    She asked for my mum's name. I said it my mum likes to go by the shortend version of her name. So let's say "Sue". My manager was like "oh what's that short for?"

    I said "Susan". She was like "Oh, was she born over here?" I said no. She was like "Oh, okay".

    She then was like so what's your dad's name. I said and we left it at that.

    She didn't ask anyone else about what their parents names where short for or if their parents were born over here.

    If it wasn't for her using it he "P" word before or referencing I'm off to a Bengali event when it was named biennale. Then I wouldn't have thought much about her digging into my name or my mum's name.

    It's knowing how she feels about black people and now me.

    I know that name thing isn't racist. But it was very bizzare how she dug into it more than the other girls around us.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What is "the p word"? Is it a racial slur where you are?
    Originally Posted by Jellybean9
    her using it he "P" word before or referencing I'm off to a Bengali

  9. #18
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    What is "the p word"? Is it a racial slur where you are?
    It's term "Paki" which was used in a negative way like the "N" word.

    Associated with people from Pakistan and Asia as a racial comment.

  10. #19
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    Was there more? Because none of what you wrote seems like racism to me.

    A couple of weeks ago a coworker asked me and a group of other coworkers if any of us had mixed heritage. It was a fun conversation. Now, he didn't ask everyone in the company that question, so would that mean he is racist?

    Did she call you or refer to you specifically by the offensive "P" word?

    There must be more to your claim of racism, I presume.

  11. #20
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    One of the comments she made knowing I have a mixed race nephew as I have a picture of him.

    She said to a group of us that "they are fine to have fun with but you wouldn't want a baby with them as they would end up with black features".

    They being black people.

    Which is a valid point my nephew has black features but I have no idea why she would point it as a bad thing.

    At an office event there was a lot of black men there. She whispered yo me and a co-worker that there was a lot of "charcoal sassuage" in here tonight.

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