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Thread: Is it possible to rekindle lost love? He sopped loving me and I don't know why

  1. #1

    Is it possible to rekindle lost love? He sopped loving me and I don't know why

    I've been in a madly happy relationship for over a year and recently it's changed and I don't know what to do.
    We were best friends and sleeping together for almost a year before becoming exclusive as both of us have been burned and we wanted to make sure this was right. Neither if us had ever been so in love, the sex was incredible, we've grown together and supported each other and travelled the world together.
    After returning from travelling things got really hard, I was really depressed for a couple of months but got out of it and am working at getting myself sorted out. A few months ago he's started to be depressed and has decided it's to do with me rather than him starting taking adhd meds, going back to university and thus having no time or money.
    I've never met a more affections person but this has stopped. Even sex has stopped and that was a huge thing for us and we were experiencing things neither of us had before.
    I found something he wrote - he doesn't find me beautiful anymore, he's embarrassed about me, he wants to sleep with other people, he wants me to be someone I'm not... but I've not changed, he has. This absolutely has ripped me apart but I can't say anything to him as I wasn't ment to see what he wrote so I'm having to pretend that I'm not hurting and it's impossibly hard.

    What do I do? I know our love was the real thing, and it can't just die like that. Is it possible to rekindle love, or ones someone let's it die out is that just it?

    I'm so lost. I know I seem like a lost teenager but we're both in our thirties, and for me this is the big love of my life, and I know that until recently I was his too. And no, there's no cheating going on so that's not it.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    What do I do?
    Well, you leave him and you grieve and then when you're healed and at the stage of indifference to him, you find someone that doesn't say things like: "he's embarrassed about me," "he wants to sleep with other people,| "e wants e to be someone I'm not."

    Who was he saying these unloving things to and how did you happen to find out he was saying them?

  3. #3
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    If he wrote those things, then you may not have "real love". where was it written, and for what purpose?
    was it a journal? Why were you snooping? he is showing signs of cheating, how do you know its not the case? have you tried to talk to him about the changes?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Pull back. Do not convince, plead, etc. Give him space to reflect. Do not talk to him about his writings. You know all you need to know. And now you know what to do. He can't miss you or reflect on this unless you pull back.
    Originally Posted by Angelica1980
    A few months ago he's started to be depressed and has decided it's to do with me

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