Depressed long distance boyfriend suddenly breaks up, doesn't love me anymore

I'm very sorry for the long text and grammatical mistakes! This is my first post to this forum.

I met my ex online 9 months ago and we instantly clicked. After 3 months, he came to visit me and everything was perfect! He is a genuinely kind person with a good soul. I fell deeply in love with him. He's my first love. (He's 24 and I'm 21)

Fast forward 5 months and three more visits: I confronted him about a silly thing and we had an argument via text. I reacted very immature and he was triggered by that and told me he's had enough of our arguments. He doesn't want to talk anymore and told me to think properly about my and his reasoning. I asked him for a call the next day where he told me that he currently doesn't feel anything at all. He doesn't trust, see or love me like he used to and it's better if we break up. I was devastated and begged him to give me a second chance, but he was unsure and needs time to think. We had two more calls after that, one where he confessed to me that he's been suffering from depression before (last time was last year around this time as well) and the other call was after his first therapy session. He was the one who reached out to me both times. We messaged shortly the next tree days, but then he ignored me for a week. I messaged him again saying I'm always there and that I understand if he needs space and time, but he again said he can only see me as a friend for now but when his mind is clearer, he might see me as his girlfriend again.

Then we went NC for three weeks. I was so heartbroken and hurt, I cried every single day and he was on my mind 24/7 (first heartbreaks...).

Last Thursday I couldn't wait any longer and asked, if we could talk. We talked for 2 1/2 hours. He's stressed because of studies, work, depression, family drama and also trying to find a new apartment. He currently wants to focus on that and most importantly himself to get better and told me he's been thinking about me a lot these past few days. I tried to stay strong, but I couldn't. I told him I still like him very much and that I would take him back in a heartbeat and I cried so so much. I asked him if he wants me to be a part of his life and he said yes. I asked if he can honestly and truthfully imagine us getting back together again and he said yes, it might happen once he gets better. Also, according to him we can still talk but it won't be like how it used to be. I'm just conflicted since he told me multiple times by now that he wants a break and he has not contacted me once in those three weeks. He did send me a message the day after our last call though, but nothing too big. I'm very sure that I want him and this relationship, but I don't know what to do anymore. Give him more space? Message him occasionally? And yes, I'm young and we have only been together for a short time, but I'm a 100% committed and I want everything about him, be it good or bad.

Too many problems for such a short relationship. Not only are you dealing with the distance - I will never understand LDRs -you are dealing with depression.

Never accept "it might happen" It is a string along. DO NOT continue to keep in contact. You should not be giving him the benefits of a gf without the relationship. He cannot have it both ways. If he valued you or saw a future, he would not risk losing you.

You may be committed but he is not. He does not love. End of story.

You need to block this guy. Find someone local!

Fast forward 5 months and three more visits: I confronted him about a silly thing and we had an argument via text. I reacted very immature and he was triggered by that and told me he's had enough of our arguments.

Can you elaborate on what happened here? What did you argue about, and what did you say that you now feel was an immature reaction?

A lot of partners bring up depression when they are breaking up with you. Likely, at least one source of his depression was feeling trapped in a relationship he didn't want anymore. I know it really sucks to face the truth, but long-distance relationships are not particularly fulfilling to begin with, and likely if you guys were arguing a lot, there is little chance he will ever want you back.

Please don't leave yourself in relationship limbo by continuing to talk to him. He will move on with his life, meet a girl locally, and crush you even more than he has already done. Work on accepting the break up and definitely cut all contact.

Hi friend, I am sorry for the break up. I'm not familiar with long distant relationships. But, it seems as if he's just giving you excuses so that he can do his own thing without you. I'm 25 and married. I've been in relationships with older guys that were liars, users, and cheaters. All I can really say is for you to be very careful and to not force an unwanted relationship. He's playing games and wasting your time with empty hopes. I don't want you to get yourself into a deeper hole of heartbreak. I've been there... There's plenty of guys out here that will do right by you and live locally. You're young. You shouldn't be going through this pain and waiting on a man that breaks your heart and doesn't have it all together. I know you love him or strongly like him... But, real love doesn't hurt! You deserve better. I pray for you to make a wise decision and get through this pain.

Sorry I haven't been active for a while, everything has been quite overwhelming for me.

5 days after I contacted him he asked for a call. He wanted me back. He knows this whole situation, especially his depression, will be difficult but he's willing to work on it. I was so happy and we got back together.

The next day his depression got bad again and I had to reach out after not hearing anything from him. We talked again and he had a breakdown, that was the first time I've heard him cry...

We worked through it and after a few days, everything was wonderful once again.

But now it's the exact same scenario. This time he managed to tell me that he's not in the mood for some talking, which I'm quite grateful for since last time he just disappeared. I told him I'm thankful and I'm here if there's anything I can do. A few hours later I said good night, I'm thinking about you lots and that was it. I haven't heard of him for the past three days. He hasn't opened my messages and he's barely active on any social media. I'm trying to focus on myself, but it's so dift because i can't stop thinking about him!

Unfortunately he's not ready, willing or able to have a relationship with you. Give him some space to work on his issues. Stop forcing him to talk to you. Leave him alone. Focus on yourself and let the guy heal.

This time he managed to tell me that he's not in the mood for some talking, which I'm quite grateful for since last time he just disappeared. I haven't heard of him for the past three days.