Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 58

Thread: Rude as hell SIL

  1. #1
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,153
    Gender
    Female

    Rude as hell SIL

    We went to see my in-laws for mine and my MILís combined birthday. For the past year since my in-laws got really sick and have been needing a lot of care my sister-in-law has been incredibly rude to my husband.( her brother) Now keep in mind we live three hours away and they have refused all kind of outside help. Do not even bring it up with them itís not even going to be considered.

    Anyway my sister-in-law has been increasingly rude to each visit . Yesterday she was 2 1/2 hours past the time she said she was going to be there without a call.

    Then after the meal when her mother was out of the room she says to my husband ,Ēget up here and help me with these dishes .Ē It was said in an extremely rude tone with no please or anything . In the past year my husband has not defended himself except this time and said donít speak to me that way . She proceeded to say, really really I should have to ask you anything?Ē To which my husband said please would be nice . So she said please and he went to help and then here she proceeded to needle him some more and then told him in an extremely rude tone told him to ,Ēshut up .Ē

    At the point my son and I our mouths fell open . I burst into tears. I ADORE my husband and hate to see him disrespected by that spoiled little snot. I have never cried at my in-laws house in my life so that was embarrassing .

    My husband keeps letting this behaviour go. However, I canít tolerate it. I have never seen adult siblings act like that . However ,I canít go to Boxing Day if this is how sheís going to act. She can ruin her own Christmas if thatís how she wants to be .

  2. #2
    Gold Member cristal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    509
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    We went to see my in-laws for mine and my MILís combined birthday. For the past year since my in-laws got really sick and have been needing a lot of care my sister-in-law has been incredibly rude to my husband.( her brother) Now keep in mind we live three hours away and they have refused all kind of outside help. Do not even bring it up with them itís not even going to be considered.

    Anyway my sister-in-law has been increasingly rude to each visit . Yesterday she was 2 1/2 hours past the time she said she was going to be there without a call.

    Then after the meal when her mother was out of the room she says to my husband ,Ēget up here and help me with these dishes .Ē It was said in an extremely rude tone with no please or anything . In the past year my husband has not defended himself except this time and said donít speak to me that way . She proceeded to say, really really I should have to ask you anything?Ē To which my husband said please would be nice . So she said please and he went to help and then here she proceeded to needle him some more and then told him in an extremely rude tone told him to ,Ēshut up .Ē

    At the point my son and I our mouths fell open . I burst into tears. I ADORE my husband and hate to see him disrespected by that spoiled little snot. I have never cried at my in-laws house in my life so that was embarrassing .

    My husband keeps letting this behaviour go. However, I canít tolerate it. I have never seen adult siblings act like that . However ,I canít go to Boxing Day if this is how sheís going to act. She can ruin her own Christmas if thatís how she wants to be .
    Why didn't you say something in your husband's defense? She is a bully and needs to be put in her place.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    London, UK
    Age
    47
    Posts
    3,025
    Gender
    Male
    The same happened with my mother's family. My mother got married to my father and they moved away from the family home to a different city, then years later even further away.

    When my grandmother got older, my uncle, who had always lived nearby, took it upon himself to be the 'carer' after my grandfather died, mowing lawns, hospital visits etc and charging my grandmother excessively for it. Then, when my grandmother passed on, my uncle went to court to argue the will stating since 'he was the carer and my mother had moved away' he should get it all. We, of course, fought it and got the will left as it was stated. This caused a breakdown of their relationship, and my uncle, mum's only sibling, has not spoken to her in 10 years. This, of course, has deeply hurt my mother.

    To me, it sounds like you Sister in law is acting out because your husband isn't giving the same level of care to the family that, in her mind, she is. Based on how she is now, it would sound like there are a lot of barriers to getting this resolved. Even getting the underlying issue out on the table will no doubt be frought with annoyance, but it would be best to get it down as time will make it worse. And then, at least you know why she has her knickers in a knot.

  4. #4
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,153
    Gender
    Female
    His family holds life long grudges and his parents are at end stage of life and he wants to see them. I wasnít going to get in a fight on his momís birthday after the poor 84 year old woman had cancer surgery a few months ago. Cancer for the 3rd time and my FIL has advanced Parkinsonís with dementia. My SIL will get hers after her parents are gone. Plus my husband is almost 50 years old. He can speak up. But he didnít want to ruin his motherís birthday as it could be her last.
    Originally Posted by cristal
    Why didn't you say something in your husband's defense? She is a bully and needs to be put in her place.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,153
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Keyman
    The same happened with my mother's family. My mother got married to my father and they moved away from the family home to a different city, then years later even further away.

    When my grandmother got older, my uncle, who had always lived nearby, took it upon himself to be the 'carer' after my grandfather died, mowing lawns, hospital visits etc and charging my grandmother excessively for it. Then, when my grandmother passed on, my uncle went to court to argue the will stating since 'he was the carer and my mother had moved away' he should get it all. We, of course, fought it and got the will left as it was stated. This caused a breakdown of their relationship, and my uncle, mum's only sibling, has not spoken to her in 10 years. This, of course, has deeply hurt my mother.

    To me, it sounds like you Sister in law is acting out because your husband isn't giving the same level of care to the family that, in her mind, she is. Based on how she is now, it would sound like there are a lot of barriers to getting this resolved. Even getting the underlying issue out on the table will no doubt be frought with annoyance, but it would be best to get it down as time will make it worse. And then, at least you know why she has her knickers in a knot.
    This is exactly it. She is the caretaker and has CHOSEN to be. She also lived at home completely money free until 36. She also never did one chore, never cooked one meal or even washed her own clothes until she left home . On the other end of the scale my husband left home at 23 and made a life with me and has paid for himself.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    15,885
    Yeah not cool. Whatever issues there are, don't bring that around the parents. They've done their bit, they deserve some peace.
    It never fails to shock me how self absorbed some people can be. There have been times I've wanted to cuff my bfs sister. His folks are 72 and 69, and she's always pulling them into real hard core stress and expects so much from them. Just really pisses me off how oblivious she is to their health and well being.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    29,964
    Gender
    Male
    Sounds uncomfortable and awkward. However whatever sibling resentment is going on, your husband does his best to avoid drama and get through it. Perhaps he could help out more with the parents and with holiday gatherings. Nothing anyone can do about her personality or their sibling issues. Try to relax and let your husband deal with it. Just help out, leave the room or attend to your son or do something else.
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    For the past year since my in-laws got really sick and have been needing a lot of care my sister-in-law has been incredibly rude to my husband. Then after the meal when her mother was out of the room she says to my husband ,Ēget up here and help me with these dishes .Ē My husband keeps letting this behaviour go.

  9. #8
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,153
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    Yeah not cool. Whatever issues there are, don't bring that around the parents. They've done their bit, they deserve some peace.
    It never fails to shock me how self absorbed some people can be. There have been times I've wanted to cuff my bfs sister. His folks are 72 and 69, and she's always pulling them into real hard core stress and expects so much from them. Just really pisses me off how oblivious she is to their health and well being.
    Yes, this woman doesnít care who she stresses either. She resents my husband has a life and she doesnít. It was her choice though. She is spoiled rotten.

  10. #9
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,153
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sounds uncomfortable and awkward. However whatever sibling resentment is going on, your husband does his best to avoid drama and get through it. Perhaps he could help out more with the parents and with holiday gatherings. Nothing anyone can do about her personality or their sibling issues. Try to relax and let your husband deal with it. Just help out, leave the room or attend to your son or do something else.
    My husband helps when he can. He got compassionate leave twice in one year to help out when his mom was hospitalized twice in one year. He looked after his dad both times and even I went for a week to care for his dad.

  11. #10
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,153
    Gender
    Female
    I wish there was a place to go in their place. They moved from their house to a 700 SQ ft condo including bedrooms. There is NO place to go.

    But I wonít go to Christmas.

Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •