Feel like a total loser

ye.. not even sure what to put in here. thought id just get it out of me.

basically failed school and ended up with a bad "certificate", went and tried to get a kind of degree and failed at that as well. 26 years old only ever had 1 girlfriend for barely 6 months, in a relationship that was doomed from the beginning. the first few months of that was really the only time in my life i felt good about myself.. i miss that feeling..miss not being lonely.. had just started that degree in another city and found the first person to actually like me for me. but that went over pretty quickly.. its now been 3 years. moved back to my parents, who dont even know i failed, having to find a job, because we desperately need the money, because my parents are splitting. but of course im barely "qualified" to do anything and im too fat and far too out of shape to do any physical jobs, because i barely move away from my desk on which i game daily, probably to just escape this sh*tty existence hoping every night before i go to bed that i dont wake up.. i could/would never do anything to myself. im not suicidal, im just tired of living in a sense but wouldnt act on that..

and i know once i eventually find a job, ill feel better. ill have something to do again, i have a daily routine, i get to know people.. right now ive just been sitting in my room for the last 1.5 years and i could probably count the times i left the appartment on 2 hands.. the one job i wouldve liked to do and where they actually wanted me only was like 3 hours a week, so i had to turn it down.

i dont have any real life friends anymore. all the friends i have are old friends back from school, we are in voip daily and play games together. they all moved to different cities for their universities. its the only social contacts i have, but i dont really feel like i could confide in them and all in all its not a very positive group. we are all very cynic, sarcastic.

usually makes me feel a little better to have put the stuff that goes through my head into words once in a while.

Well, look, you're not going to find a job by sitting in your room. If you literally have only left your apartment 10 times in the last 1.5 years, you have a serious problem and you need serious counseling. You probably could have gotten a job in a shop for Christmas. (You might still be able to get one.) You've got to get out and start applying. Or get some training in plumbing or electrical work. I don't know what your background is, but by working you can start to feel better about yourself and make some spending money. Once you get out in the world, you might find a girlfriend and make some friends. But you got to get out and work.

Well, look, you're not going to find a job by sitting in your room. If you literally have only left your apartment 10 times in the last 1.5 years, you have a serious problem and you need serious counseling. You probably could have gotten a job in a shop for Christmas. (You might still be able to get one.) You've got to get out and start applying. Or get some training in plumbing or electrical work. I don't know what your background is, but by working you can start to feel better about yourself and make some spending money. Once you get out in the world, you might find a girlfriend and make some friends. But you got to get out and work.

I second this entire post. Of course you feel lousy because you're not doing anything to help yourself. No-one would feel good sitting in their room for 1.5 years doing nothing day in and day out. You need to make a serious effort to spend your time constructively which will boost your self-esteem. Seek counselling, go back to school, start applying for jobs, get out of the house and DO something. Anything. Go jogging, cycling, exercise, eat well. You have to start somewhere to get somewhere. Sitting in your room for years will not help you in any way, shape or form.

I agree that you gotta start being active. A lot of different things you can do have been mentioned, but it’s important to start small. Don’t overwhelm yourself cus you’ll burn out and revert back to the apartment. Of course counseling would be great, but it seems y’all are strapped for cash and obviously seeing someone can be expensive.

But please let me add one more thing. Even those people who have jobs, girlfriends, money, etc... how many of them still feel the same way you do? Tired of the same pointless job, not content with the woman they have, not satisfied with their salary. This stuff in itself isn’t going to make you feel good about life. I’m a religious person (converted to Islam 2.5 years ago) and I’m telling you without a doubt - whether you are an atheist or a believer - that you have a spiritual side you must nourish, just as much as your body and mind. Of course I recommend learning about Islam, as I believe it’s the truth, but even more “secular” practices like meditation and mindfulness can do wonders for you bro if you take the time to make it a daily habit.

Hope this helps...

Don’t overwhelm yourself cus you’ll burn out

thats also a huge issue i forgot to mention. everything seems overwhelming.

i am currently going through job sites hours at a day sometimes. trying to get a job and the worse the situation gets the "worse" a job i have to settle for. i had 2 job-interviews of which one i had a trial that day. as said the one with the trial that id have liked to do just didnt have enough work for me to do and i cant settle for a 3 hours of work at 30 bucks a week job. the other one wasnt interested apparently.

i know what the way out of this misery its just hard to walk the walk for me. ive had these thoughts that i put in the mainpost for a few weeks now every night and it just helps me to get it out there and not be constantly surrounded by them.

thanks for the advice

Keep pushin. A positive is that you know what the bottom feels like and pretty much can only go up from here. It’s up to you whether or not you just decide to stay down there. Again, I recommend building self-awareness and self-love through meditation (or even better: prayer and seeking knowledge of God). If you do your best for a few weeks/months and your mental state remains unchanged, then it could be a chemical imbalance which requires medication. Try to keep that a last resort though cus our whole society is just getting drugged up and numbed out for issues which can be resolved in a healthier way.

as said the one with the trial that id have liked to do just didnt have enough work for me to do and i cant settle for a 3 hours of work at 30 bucks a week job.

The way I would view that is: anything is better than nothing at all. At least you would have had a foot in the door so to speak. A starting point of getting out of the rut you find yourself in. We all start at the bottom and have to work our way up to the top. You can't expect to land a top job when you've done nothing but sit in your room for a few years, right?

The way I would view that is: anything is better than nothing at all. At least you would have had a foot in the door so to speak. A starting point of getting out of the rut you find yourself in. We all start at the bottom and have to work our way up to the top. You can't expect to land a top job when you've done nothing but sit in your room for a few years, right?

wasnt that kind of job. it was a tutoring kids for school subjects job. was nothing where i could get into the company and have my foot in etc. it was really bad payment for an easy to do job but they couldnt give me more than 2 courses of those a week. ill need to find a job that

A. supports the appartment because my moms job cant carry all of it

B. i can pay off my healthcare debts + healthcare in general (which is np if i get a full time job)

C. have some money for myself to save if possible.

so im looking for part time (20h) or fulltime (40h). 3h just doesnt cut it and i specifically asked her if it was possible to accumulate enough for parttime. she said it wasnt. also i feel sorry for the parents who send their kids there and pay for it.. its a joke, when i was trialing there with another "teacher" all the kids did was doing homework and asking occasional questions. that not how tutoring a kid that needs help should be. but i guess doing nothing for that payment makes you not really care either way.

welp

i applied for a job that i was actually genuinly interested in. they invited me for an interview and apparently i nailed it. they had a few questions to which i didnt really know a good answer to like: what are your biggest weaknesses/strength, but i totally convinced them with my knowledge needed for the job.

im happy about the job itself since there were a bunch i applied to where i wasnt really interested in just cz i needed the money.

pay is good, the company seems really cool and caring. ill be starting in january

im really happy and hope this is the first step to a better life.

welp

 

i applied for a job that i was actually genuinly interested in. they invited me for an interview and apparently i nailed it. they had a few questions to which i didnt really know a good answer to like: what are your biggest weaknesses/strength, but i totally convinced them with my knowledge needed for the job.

 

im happy about the job itself since there were a bunch i applied to where i wasnt really interested in just cz i needed the money.

pay is good, the company seems really cool and caring. ill be starting in january

 

im really happy and hope this is the first step to a better life.

Wishing you all the veryveryvery best with this, and thanks for coming back here to keep us updated! Have a great Christmas!

welp

 

i applied for a job that i was actually genuinly interested in. they invited me for an interview and apparently i nailed it. they had a few questions to which i didnt really know a good answer to like: what are your biggest weaknesses/strength, but i totally convinced them with my knowledge needed for the job.

 

im happy about the job itself since there were a bunch i applied to where i wasnt really interested in just cz i needed the money.

pay is good, the company seems really cool and caring. ill be starting in january

 

im really happy and hope this is the first step to a better life.

That's awesome! I wish you well.