In a LDR with my BF of 16 months, I am the one always making the trip to him

BF of 16 months recently moved state almost a month ago, I see him every weekend sometimes every second weekend if he's busy working.

We live 3 hours away but have to take a plane flight to get there.

I do get discounted flights tickets though as my Mom is a flight attendant so she puts me on her discount rate.

However I am in a bit of debt and by the time I pay my debts after each pay and my living expenses etc, it's still between $200 - $400 for a ticket.

Usually $200 on the lower end if I can get a good priced ticket.

Factoring in spending money for the weekend there too. He has been really generous and has been paying for my spending and flights lately when I didn't have the funds.

I owe him money.. he's been really nice and I still haven't paid him back for money I borrowed 2 months ago.

I just paid him quite a bit from my recent pay, to slowly pay him off the money I owe him.

He's really nice so I know he will pay for my ticket and spending money the next time I fly over to see him, but I feel bad because then I'll be in more debt with him and I hate borrowing his money particularly when I still owe him $2000....

That $2000 was for money he lent me for living costs when I was between jobs.

Anyway I don't want him to know I have no money at all.. or he will question my smarts with money, I am in debt though.

I want to see him soon, and the only way I can is if he pays for me first... but I can't keep doing this...

Help?

I think you should be honest with him about the money situation and see if he can come to you sometimes or if not possible reduce the plane trips monthly frequency a bit. And also set a plan to pay him back gradually.

You need to be honest.

I would also cut down on the visits. He should be coming to you half of the time.

You need to be honest.

 

I would also cut down on the visits. He should be coming to you half of the time.

I agree with this. Do you not have a car? Driving would be a lot cheaper than flying.

Long-distance relationships are really challenging from an emotional perspective, but they can also rack up a pretty penny. Be honest with your partner. If you can't discuss your financial situation, the relationship isn't worth all the hassle you're going through.

You two need a better arrangement in place to ensure that the travelling and expenses involved are fair to the both of you.

It sounds like you’re doing all of the travelling and therefore carrying a heavier financial burden.

Why is isn’t he travelling to see you? Or offering to assist more with the cost of travelling? Is he expecting you to pay him back when he covers the cost of your ticket?

You need to have an honest discussion with him. The longer you leave it, the more indebted and stressed you will be.

I think you just have to cut down the number of trips. Maybe fly out for Christmas, but then wait until spring and save up your money. You don't need to see him every weekend. That's crazy.

You two need a better arrangement in place to ensure that the travelling and expenses involved are fair to the both of you.

 

It sounds like you’re doing all of the travelling and therefore carrying a heavier financial burden.

 

Why is isn’t he travelling to see you? Or offering to assist more with the cost of travelling? Is he expecting you to pay him back when he covers the cost of your ticket?

 

You need to have an honest discussion with him. The longer you leave it, the more indebted and stressed you will be.

He has payed for some of her trips and has loaned her 2000 dollars. He probably pays for some of her trips afterwards so the problem is that she can't go to see him if he doesn't pay first this time because she's out of money.

But the advice still stands: less trips, him travelling to her half of the time and her being honest with him and setting up a plan to pay him back the money she owes him.

What is his contribution to your visiting? Why do you have to pay him back for all your travel and weekend expenses? Sadly it sounds like you are investing in this way too much when there is not future and no talk of moving there. Also neglecting basic responsibilities such as living expenses, your child, etc. You seem ok with your child father having 100% custody with you visiting your son. This man is not an escape from real life or real responsibilities, especially when he moved away from you in the blink of an eye and puts the onus on you to visit him.

He has been really generous and has been paying for my spending and flights lately when I didn't have the funds. I still owe him $2000....That $2000 was for money he lent me for living costs when I was between jobs.

Do you not have to pay child support?

Why are you in debt to him if he pays for your flight some of the time? It spares him the trip, so it saves him from buying a full price flight for himself.