I Don't Get this Girl? Help?!?

Hello, I am back to the dating scene after a really long time. So here's the story.... I recently began dating a co-worker who is quite young (23 yrs old) in the office, I am 30 yrs old. I asked her out on a date on impulse one day as I saw her working late as I thought she was cute and nice. She said yes and our first date went well. We've been dating for a month now and we always kiss and sometimes even cuddle after our dates. I've been a true gentleman this entire time and have even paid for everything on our dates. I tell her directly that I really like her and how I feel about her (sometimes to a fault). In any case there have been some serious concerns that I have been having since the beginning. Namely she does not text me much (3 times a day) and does not respond to my messages for hours. Sometimes when I log onto Facebook I can see that she is active but has not responded to my text from hours before! She does not ever call me, and when I ask to speak to her on the phone she does not seem like she wants to and ends our calls pretty quickly after it's begun. I have called her and talked to her directly and she has advised me that she likes me and likes spending time with me and wants to see where it goes, and has told me she feels that I am thinking too much about this. We have not had sex but I have gone down on her once, so I feel like we are pretty close at this point. In any case I am thinking about breaking whatever this is off as its a Friday night and she has left the office without even saying anything or any indication at this point, or even texts. I feel like I'm dating a ghost? Please let me know what your thoughts are! Serious answers only please, I have a sensitive disposition! Thank you in advance.!

has told me she feels that I am thinking too much about this.

I get the impression she feels you are being way too clingy and needy to the point of smothering and when reading your post, it does look that way (imo).

Either that, or she is not as into you as you are into her.

It seems she is not that into you as you are into her.

When I was that age and my friends were dating. They would always show off how so and so bought them fancy dinners and stuff.

On of my friends who was dating someone a little older really liked to show off of her fancier dates than dating guys our own age.

Lovely you are doing all that but could be she just likes the attention and the going out on free dates. Sorry not to judge her as I don't know her but know that's what my friends liked to do. Well some of them still do years later.

Office relationships are hard sadly. So may also be a bit overwhelming for her?

A bit strange for her to be outright ignoring your texts. As usually I would say people are busy and will get back to you at their pace. But she has time to be active on Facebook. Classic signs she is not interested imo. As in those early stages. Even if you are busy from work and haven't messaged in a while you are excited to text and get texts from someone you are newly dating.

Just be cautious with her when going forward.

Dial it back a bit. Don't be so forthcoming with the messages as clearly it is not doing you any favours right now.

Yeah, if I was a girl, I think I'd be avoiding you too. You're just smothering her. No wonder she bugged out early to avoid you. But she's still sending you 3 texts a day. She likes you enough to do that. It's just you who feel that this isn't enough.

Look, she has work to do, so you should cut back on your texting and your calling, especially during working hours, and you should stop cyber-stalking her to see if she's been online or not. You've got to calm down. You've only been dating her a month and you're already telling her how you feel about her. Is this the sort of mistake you've made in your previous relationships? You're just too much and now you feel like breaking it off because she's not all in on the relationship after ONLY A MONTH.

If you keep going on like this, the relationship will be over in only a few months anyway, so it's up to you how to play it. But if you want this girl to hang around a bit longer, you've got to pace yourself. Stop rushing things. Stop forcing yourself on her. Get to know her. Be her friend. Just date her and relax. Stop being so needy.

I think you seem to be smothering her or wanting too much too soon. It's just the beginning. I never think it's a good idea to date co-workers but at least she seems professional about it.

3 texts a day seems great to me. And if you already see her everyday at work plus are having dates, I also don't see the need for her to be in constant contact with you or talk to you on the phone. You need to relax. She also thinks it's too much as she said that you're thinking too much

Take her hint and back off a little. You're too anxious when you should be relaxing and enjoying the initial stages of dating.

She doesn't seem too keen on maintaining an open communication channel with you until you take her on a date.

I would not say anything to her and keep my distance. If she is concern with your new behavior, let her initiate and ask.

Sending multiple texts every day early in the dating process seems like a lot to me, but it all comes down to personal preference. It sounds like she is either not that into you, or you have really different communication styles - both deal breakers. Also, she is significantly younger than you. It is possible that at 23, she just isn't looking to be serious with anybody. Don't take the situation too personally.

My main advice is that if you breakup with her, do NOT turn around and start begging for her back. It will create major problems at your job and will make you both miserable. If you cut ties, do it kindly and then be professional.

It sounds to me like she's just not that in to you. She likes the free dinners and attention, but she's really not that in to YOU. I'd stop wasting my time on her and look for someone else who IS interested. Maybe look for someone with common interests and hobbies, rather than just someone you work with.

I get the impression she feels you are being way too clingy and needy to the point of smothering and when reading your post, it does look that way (imo).

Either that, or she is not as into you as you are into her.

Yes, I agree with all of the above.

You are wanting more than she wants to give at this point, OP. Whether that's because you're coming on too strongly or because she's just not as interested to begin with, the bottom line is that you need to chill a bit. Take a step back. Observe and see if she takes the initiative to reach out to you. If not, then you know it's best to call it a day.

Unfortunately it sounds like a brief office fling that is starting to make her uncomfortable. It seems you are crowding her too much. Try backing off and being polite and professional and see what happens.

I asked her out on a date on impulse one day as I saw her working late as I thought she was cute and nice. she has advised me that she likes me and likes spending time with me and wants to see where it goes, and has told me she feels that I am thinking too much about this.