Why is he doing this?

He initiated the break up, and told me he was mentally and emotionally hurt & will always love me. Since the breakup, we have been in constant contact and usually we are arguing about the break up, or he brings up things from my social medias. Sometimes under an “a fake page sent me this” type stuff. Anyway, When I ask if we will ever get back together or see each other, his responses are “i don’t know what the future holds” “I’m 99.9% sure we will never get back together” “for right now we will not be intimate, hanging out, etc” “i don’t feel like i have to give you an answer”. What does all this mean? He’s also said he doesn’t want me in his life but wants to remain friends??? We have been broken up since september... It’s just hard to understand him. When we first broke up, he was kind of at a “we will see” phase about us getting back together... And i’ve managed to mess that up by causing arguments... He’s drunk dialed me one time by swears it was just a butt dial, but when I text him asking why did he call he blew up on me and said I was looking for excuses to talk to him. Any time we get to talking, it’s always about the break up and it’s usually just him rambling about what i did wrong and whatever he managed to get from my social media. the latest argument was, a “fake page” sent him screenshots of me having a new man and being engaged and probably some of the most minor things. he was quick to mention he didn’t believe i was engaged, though. but i just don’t believe there’s really a “page” sending him anything from my social media. When I did have my social media’s, and we were still connected, I noticed he would post pics of himself at a restaurant i introduced him to or saying things to make himself “noticed” (it’s probably me just overthinking.) I’ve since deleted my social media’s because I don’t want to cause any conflict.

You need to stop talking to him. Block him on everything. Give yourself space to heal and get over him.

Thank u for your reply. It just sucks because we were together 2 years and we were very close, so it’s still very difficult.

Well, you're giving some hints that the guy was emotionally abusive during the relationship, but certainly after your break up he is being cruel and punishing. Believe him when he says he's 99.9% sure you're not getting back together. But what he's trying to do is keep the door open just in case he can booty call you at some point. As BettyBee said, stop talking to him. Block him in all your social media, delete his contact info, and don't respond to anything he sends you. It doesn't matter if you were with each other for 2 years. A bad relationship is a bad relationship no matter how long it was.

This is pretty easy to resolve. Delete and block this jerk every way possible. There is zero reason to have contact with someone who is as immature as this guy is.

We have both done a lot of things to each other throughout our relationship but, I guess you’re right. He’s extremely good at making me feel like the bad guy, though. I just don’t understand him, at all and I can’t stop trying to. (Though I know I will, eventually.) If I push the “will we get back together” question more and more, he will start saying i’m “harassing” him or i’m “making him want to stay away” but it feels like he purposely does little things that will make me contact him regardless. He knows what buttons to push. I’m just confused as to somebody that makes it a point to be mean to me, will spend over an hour with me on the phone arguing about our relationship or my social media and what I post.

I think I am afraid of what would happy once i seriously start NC. the first time i tried, he drunk called me, didn’t say anything besides breathe on the phone, and I hung up. Asked what’s going on, and he immediately gets upset. I get on Facebook, and I see him make a status about something we had previously discussed a few days prior.

Maybe about a week ago, i blew up on him and sent him an email calling him worthless and etc and how he would never be able to be in my presence again. I didn’t think he would respond, but he responded saying “and this is why you haven’t changed.. but good you can leave my worthless a** alone”

.... I just don’t understand anything about him.

(I’m 24, he’s 38, if that helps....)

Well, you're giving some hints that the guy was emotionally abusive during the relationship, but certainly after your break up he is being cruel and punishing. Believe him when he says he's 99.9% sure you're not getting back together. But what he's trying to do is keep the door open just in case he can booty call you at some point. As BettyBee said, stop talking to him. Block him in all your social media, delete his contact info, and don't respond to anything he sends you. It doesn't matter if you were with each other for 2 years. A bad relationship is a bad relationship no matter how long it was.

You’re right. I’m just the type of person to over analyze

Rather than setting yourself up to stomped on, you need to maintain your self respect by allowing him to own his choice in regards to letting you go. At this time he's playing a cruel game, yet you continue to participate. Keep in mind that if he truly cared about you, he'd never risk losing you to someone else.

It's time to cut the cord, and send him packing. You can do much better.

He is messing with you. Why are you rewarding him with contact after he dumped you?

Block him!

He is 38. I thought he was in high school.

Lose this guy.

He is 38. I thought he was in high school.

Me too. This is even worse. He is an abuser. That's why he's doing this to you. The age difference would have been a huge red flag in the first place!

You're right, he's going to think up ways to get you to contact him. Use your phone to block his number and delete his contact information so you can't contact him.

Me too. This is even worse. He is an abuser. That's why he's doing this to you. The age difference would have been a huge red flag in the first place!

 

You're right, he's going to think up ways to get you to contact him. Use your phone to block his number and delete his contact information so you can't contact him.

Good advice!

We have both done a lot of things to each other throughout our relationship but, I guess you’re right. He’s extremely good at making me feel like the bad guy, though. I just don’t understand him, at all and I can’t stop trying to. (Though I know I will, eventually.) If I push the “will we get back together” question more and more, he will start saying i’m “harassing” him or i’m “making him want to stay away” but it feels like he purposely does little things that will make me contact him regardless. He knows what buttons to push. I’m just confused as to somebody that makes it a point to be mean to me, will spend over an hour with me on the phone arguing about our relationship or my social media and what I post.

He does this because he can! You let him do it! Then you keep coming back for more. Once you stop letting him treat you like this you will feel so much better. Why would you want to get back with someone who has no respect for you, argues and belittles you regularly? Life doesnt have to be like this. Normal people dont treat each other like that. You need to get him out of your system! Why would you think things would be any better if you got back together? They wont. It will be more of the same BS. You cant possibly want to live your life like that.

He is 38. I thought he was in high school.

 

Lose this guy.

38? I figured he was about 17. Yes, lose this guy.

I think I am afraid of what would happy once i seriously start NC. the first time i tried, he drunk called me, didn’t say anything besides breathe on the phone, and I hung up. Asked what’s going on, and he immediately gets upset. I get on Facebook, and I see him make a status about something we had previously discussed a few days prior.

 

Maybe about a week ago, i blew up on him and sent him an email calling him worthless and etc and how he would never be able to be in my presence again. I didn’t think he would respond, but he responded saying “and this is why you haven’t changed.. but good you can leave my worthless a** alone”

 

.... I just don’t understand anything about him.

 

(I’m 24, he’s 38, if that helps....)

He's an immature a$$hole. Your life will get much simpler when you block and delete him from everything. Then he cant drunk call you or pocket dial you or get on your facebook page. Honestly, it's pretty easy to delete him from your life. Have some respect for yourself.

38? I figured he was about 17. Yes, lose this guy.

He does this because he can! You let him do it! Then you keep coming back for more. Once you stop letting him treat you like this you will feel so much better. Why would you want to get back with someone who has no respect for you, argues and belittles you regularly? Life doesnt have to be like this. Normal people dont treat each other like that. You need to get him out of your system! Why would you think things would be any better if you got back together? They wont. It will be more of the same BS. You cant possibly want to live your life like that.

Spot on!!!

On/off relationships are fraught with conflict and two people who can't get along or sustain a relationship. This is often due to anything from substance abuse, mental illness, cheating, basic incompatibilities, distrust, poor morals, etc. The sex and attachment is there but the conflicts are never resolved.

The problem is these same two people often get back together because they can't get along with or sustain a relationship with anyone else either. So they just go in circles between conflict and breakups then loneliness and striking out everywhere else, then coming back to what's easy and comfortable until the same circus of arguments and breakups starts all over again.

Until one of them gets help and gets better, they stay stuck in this orbit. If one of them finally does get help and gets better, they will leave the toxic person and toxic cycle and finally find a stable compatible relationship.

38? I figured he was about 17. Yes, lose this guy.

On/off relationships are fraught with conflict and two people who can't get along or sustain a relationship. This is often due to anything from substance abuse, mental illness, cheating, basic incompatibilities, distrust, poor morals, etc. The sex and attachment is there but the conflicts are never resolved.

 

The problem is these same two people often get back together because they can't get along with or sustain a relationship with anyone else either. So they just go in circles between conflict and breakups then loneliness and striking out everywhere else, then coming back to what's easy and comfortable until the same circus of arguments and breakups starts all over again.

 

Until one of them gets help and gets better, they stay stuck in this orbit. If one of them finally does get help and gets better, they will leave the toxic person and toxic cycle and finally find a stable compatible relationship.

I don’t want this to be a cycle (tho it seems it already is..) If his plan is to keep being this emotionally abusive & get back together, I really want no parts....