Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 41

Thread: Found out husband has been cheating for 10 years?!

  1. #21
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,140
    Gender
    Female
    As long as you are ok with STD’s. But I don’t think a good father screws around on the mother of his children. Your kids are not stupid and will eventually figure this all out.

  2. #22

    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    6
    Seraphim, you must be incredibly young. Or not have children of your own, if you can’t understand the different dynamics in a marriage, and those in raising children.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    17,474
    I am not a tree hugger. We are saying that someone who valued their family and themselves would not tolerate this behavior. I do not understand why you think that someone who has been blessed with beauty or death does not have to follow the same set of rules. Perhaps, this is your way of excusing behavior that is unacceptable to the majority.

    if you don't give a damn about yourself, then think about your kids. They will find out and this is not a safe or healthy environment for them emotionally. He is not a wonderful father when he has multiple affairs with others.

    This is not about being mainstream. It is about having self respect!

    Do you use condoms and have you been tested for STDs?

  4. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    17,474
    Originally Posted by Jill0501
    Seraphim, you must be incredibly young. Or not have children of your own, if you can’t understand the different dynamics in a marriage, and those in raising children.
    Seraphim and I are older than you. It is called self respect! I don't know any of my married friends that would put up with this crap!

    Why is this okay for you?

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    29,881
    Gender
    Male
    It seems you are well aware that this one is different and after 10 years there is obviously a bond. However this long term love affair is shaking you up, because you fear he'll leave you for her, which of course one day he will. He may wait for the kids to be grown or when it is financially more opportune, but he will leave you one day. If not for this lover, for someone else. He has no respect for you and you are aware of that as well.
    Originally Posted by Jill0501
    Am I making too much of it by thinking he’s emotionally involved with her? if it is normal for a sex-only affair to last for 10 years.

  7. #26

    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    6
    Redirecting - this is what I want to know:

    “I have posted to understand the dynamic behind this one affair. Am I making too much of it by thinking he’s emotionally involved with her? Because if it’s just sex, I can live with it. But if he has feelings for her, I’d have to reassess our entire marriage”

  8. #27
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    17,474
    Have you shared his activities with friends and family? Do they all think that he is a great guy, and this is acceptable?

  9. #28
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    17,474
    Originally Posted by Jill0501
    Redirecting - this is what I want to know:

    “I have posted to understand the dynamic behind this one affair. Am I making too much of it by thinking he’s emotionally involved with her? Because if it’s just sex, I can live with it. But if he has feelings for her, I’d have to reassess our entire marriage”
    Bottom line: He does not love or respect you. He will not stick around, as he is not invested in your marriage.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    12,250
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Jill0501
    But does the amount of time, and going back and forth when he’s had other women, mean he has feelings for her?
    You don't seem to care if he is "doing" other women as long as there are no emotions involved. Ask him if he loves her and if he denies it then you can just go on denying your dismal situation if that is what keeps you sane and fine with his extra-curricular activities.

    Bottom line: Don't fool yourself into THINKING you're happy as long as he isn't emotionally connected with his eff buddies. Be honest with YOURSELF and then proceed from there.

  11. #30
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,140
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Jill0501
    Seraphim, you must be incredibly young. Or not have children of your own, if you can’t understand the different dynamics in a marriage, and those in raising children.
    I am not incredibly young. I am 52 and been married almost 30 years and have an adult child. Thanks though.

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •