Girlfriend said I'm too quiet and don't engage in conversations

I'm going to try and make this short. So on the 10th of this month, my girlfriend invited me to be her companion for a friend's wedding. I didn't know anyone with the exception of her best friend and best friend's boyfriend who I've met before. That night she mentioned that I was quiet a few times as I didn't really engage in conversation's with people there as I didn't really know anyone and wasn't really introduced to people there. The following day we stayed at a hotel and she mentioned that I was quiet the night of the reception and didn't even try to talk to people there. For the most part I usually don't initiate conversations that well, but that night I did talk to a few people, maybe one or two, whom I've talk to the night of the bachelor party. I even talked to her friend's boyfriend, whose only interest is in cars so we really didn't have much to talk about. I just feel like I'm being pressured to talk to her friends and engage in conversations with the people who are there. I do talk to her friends, its just that our topics are very limited and her friends and I don't have much in common. They like to drink, smoke weed, and her friend's boyfriend is mainly interested in cars. You can only talk about cars so much until it gets boring and not knowing anyone there didn't really help the situation. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm going to lose her if this is an issue for her.

Not everyone is really talkative especially among a group of people they dont know. Did she seem angry with you that you were quiet or was she just commenting? I personally wouldnt make an issue out of it with you, as I'd understand you are a quiet person. Was she wanting you to be the life of the party? That'd be pretty hard based on what you said. For me, she's making a mountain out of a molehill.

When she mentioned it, she made it appear as if she was upset about it. I tried to tell her that I didn't know anyone there and that I really wasn't introduced to everyone by her either. And she even asked if I was also quiet around my friends, or if I have conversations with my sister. Really? It's really messing with my head, like I should try to fix this issue. It's making me question, how am I do I even have friends if I'm quiet?

So you're not a huge extrovert, the life of the party, so what?

Your nature is more quiet, so is mine; I'm an introvert for the most part, I don't enjoy large social gatherings but when attending one, I select a few people to talk to which none of my boyfriends ever had a problem with. While they fly around the room being social talking to everyone.

Why? Because they accepted me for who I am, my more quiet and introverted nature, versus trying to shame me into being more extroverted, something I am not.

You should ask your gf how she would feel if you pressured her to not talk so much at social events, not be so social.

I can almost guaranty she would not like being told how not to act one bit. Asking her to squelch her more extroverted nature to please you.

What she's asking of you is the same thing flipped, she doesn't accept you for who you are - she's trying to change you, change your more quiet nature into something she finds more socially acceptable to her friends, family, whomever. Almost shaming you to change.

This is so wrong on so many levels, never change who you are for anyone! Nor should you ever apologize for being who you are.

If she or anyone can't accept you for who you are, tell them "there's the door."

I would!

I don't think what she's complaining about is about you being quiet. I think she's complaining about you not being the type of person she usually dates.

What has her past boyfriends been like? Have they been outgoing, maybe a bit obnoxious? Were they the life of the party and you're not? What kind of girl is she? Is she unhappy about a quality in her personality that she has and wants you to compensate for it?

I'm just saying that accusing you of being quiet may be something deeper that she's bugged about.

She either accepts you for who you are or she doesn't. And if she doesn't, then it's time to say goodbye.

But don't allow someone to pressure you to not only go to these parties but to talk when they say or as much as they want!!

That's ridiculous!

She either likes you how are now, or you're not compatible...simple as that.

OP, you have no less than 24 threads about your girlfriend with all sorts of issues. You don't sound very happy to be with her at all, so what exactly makes you stay with her? Serious question.

OP, you have no less than 24 threads about your girlfriend with all sorts of issues. You don't sound very happy to be with her at all, so what exactly makes you stay with her? Serious question.

This.

The number of problems you have had with her in your short relationship strongly suggests this isn't a very good match for you, OP.

It's very rude for her to ask you to be her date at a wedding and not introduce you to anyone and just run off and leaving you hanging with a bunch of strangers. This is her lack of decent manners, not your problem. Let her stew about it but she's in the wrong not you.

I didn't really know anyone and wasn't really introduced to people there.

I agree with Katrina and Wiseman. As long as you are polite and not sitting with a scowl on your face that’s all you need to do as a guest. My husband is reserved and not going to be a social butterfly like me. Is it ever frustrating ? Yes sometimes when his choice hampers my ability to get to know people. But it’s how he is. He’ll bend a bit if I ask - try to socialize more or join me in socializing but I’m the butterfly. I’ve been the one to create most of the connections we have in our city which we moved to almost ten years ago and not to be “sexist” but I know of many couples where the wife is more social and creates the connections or couple friendships. Also people always like my husband. He’s polite and pleasant and thoughtful. And far more of an introvert. And people tend to be accepting of that as they should be frankly. I am when I’m around more reserved people - I follow their lead as far as how much they wish to chat or share about themselves. Your girlfriend should do the same IMO.

What about when it comes to people we encounter in public that she knows as "acquaintances," or people she worked with. There were a few times where we were eating at Inn and Out and one of the workers there saw her, but didn't know she was with me and as soon as he decided to approach her and he saw me with her, he backed off a bit. He came back maybe 10 minutes later to say hi to her, but she never really introduced me to him. Now that I look back at it, there has only been a few friends that she's introduced me to. Two being her best friend and her boyfriend, and maybe a select few. I asked her about it and she said they were only "acquaintances," and said she would rather introduce me to people closer to her. I sort of disagreed with her idea, and said it doesn't matter who we encounter, if I knew them in some way, I would introduce her as my girlfriend...

I know that I've had a lot of posts on this particular girl, but it's only because I didn't want to end up doing anything I would regret or over react to. Sometime's I would just think stupid thoughts and have to remind myself that I have nothing to worry about.