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Dirty John - Podcast and now Bravo mini-series


Starlight925

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Anyone listen to this podcast or planning to watch it on Bravo?

 

I just started the podcast today.

 

You can't write this stuff.

 

True story of a woman who meets her "dream guy" online (OurTime), and he turns out to be a pathological liar who tried to kill her adult daughter.

 

https://www.eonline.com/news/989152/meet-the-real-people-at-the-center-of-dirty-john

 

If it wasn't a true story, I'd have turned off the podcast in the middle of the first episode, as it's such a "stupid" story. But it's very real, with a successful, attractive woman, who has 2 grown daughters, and thought she found the love of her life.

 

It was also a Dateline story.

 

Crazy.

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I saw it on dateline!

 

I can’t say it kept my attention, I guess I had a hard time connecting with the story, I didn’t get what they saw in the guy, to me, he was pretty average looking and his actions were just so over the top.

 

Wasn’t it multiple women he conned? These types usually know what type of women to target. The same with those Nigerian prince cons, they say they purposely spell words wrong because if a woman or man is able to overlook such blatant typos, they’re ripe for the picking and are going to be easy to game.

 

It’s a valuable lesson for sure. Any man wanting to wine and dine you to such extremes and then the money games begin, tread carefully or better yet run!

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I saw it on dateline!

 

I can’t say it kept my attention, I guess I had a hard time connecting with the story, I didn’t get what they saw in the guy, to me, he was pretty average looking and his actions were just so over the top.

 

Wasn’t it multiple women he conned? These types usually know what type of women to target. The same with those Nigerian prince cons, they say they purposely spell words wrong because if a woman or man is able to overlook such blatant typos, they’re ripe for the picking and are going to be easy to game.

 

It’s a valuable lesson for sure. Any man wanting to wine and dine you to such extremes and then the money games begin, tread carefully or better yet run!

 

Exactly, all of this.

 

It's hard to believe, listening to the podcast, how she didn't/wouldn't/refused to see the warning signs. From the first episode, they are interviewing her and her daughters, so it's them telling their story.

 

Both of her adult daughters saw right through him from the start, and it was one of the daughters, who hired a private investigator, that he tried to kill.

 

What did she see in him? She was 59, divorced, and lonely. Her last boyfriend cheated on her and told her she was unattractive and called her "fat". She was lonely, and looking at a life alone.

 

She joined OurTime, and had 84 hits right away. Of course, we know that a lot of those were probably scammers. But, she narrowed down, and had first meets with several guys. The first few were either complete no chemistry, or they didn't call her back. Or they'd drone on and on about themselves.

 

She meets John. 6'2", good-looking (I think so), anesthesiologist, children from a previous marriage, owned multiple properties, so sweet, attentive, and wonderful. Listened to her stories, and they started this whirlwind courtship.

 

He brought her coffee every morning, he took her car in for service, he waited for her at the doctor, he accepted her vulnerability, and he was sweet and kind and thoughtful. He brought her peonies, because he remembered it was her favorite flower.

 

In short, he blew in like the wind and courted this lonely divorcee.

 

She had a very successful interior design business, and she owned a penthouse, a Range Rover and a Tesla, along with Chanel bags, Gucci shoes, and money in the bank. He sniffed this out very quickly and took advantage of her.

 

What we know about these types is that they love bomb/idealize their victim to increase oxytocin, increase binding chemicals. She "couldn't" leave him, because she was chemically bound. So even though all the signs were so obvious, he love bombed her so hard, it won her over.

 

And yes, he did this to multiple other women. He left a trail across the country.

 

Truth:

-He was not an anesthesiologist. He had been a nurse anesthetist, but he had lost his license. He'd come home every day in scrubs, and he'd be gone all day, and she thought he was at work. He was not.

-He never owned any of the properties he had said. One of his last-known addresses, the P.I. uncovered, was actually a prison.

 

I find it fascinating, as so many here at ENA, myself included, have gotten swept off their feet by someone who later turns out to be a loser, a jerk, or an abuser. We constantly give the "slow down" advice, which is what her daughters gave her, and just like so many posters who are 1-shot, 1-paragraph posters who never return because they don't like the advice, she too, wouldn't listen.

 

So normal looking:

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I saw Debra Newell and her daughter being interviewed on Dr. Oz about this a few years ago (here’s part of the interview -

). At least, I think it was a few years ago? Or a couple of years ago. This was so interesting to watch!

 

It’s scary to think that there are people out there who are capable of doing something like this. The thing is, no one thinks this will happen to them. We think we’re invincible.

 

Goes to show, you can’t be too careful when it comes to meeting people, online or offline.

 

Unfortunately, nothing seems to surprise me anymore.

 

Lots of loopy & manipulative people out there in the dating world.

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Oh wow, Milly, thank you for that link! Watching it now!

 

I had no idea that this podcast has been downloaded 10 million times.

 

She went to both a therapist and a lawyer who each convinced her he was legit, and that she needed to tell her daughters to mind their own business. Just goes to show, even professionals can get it completely wrong.

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I know...so crazy!

 

Perfect example as to why people need to be cautious and careful.

 

Best to err on the side of caution!

 

Can’t believe she married him within two months of meeting.

 

And he was proposing marriage numerous times a day starting on their second date.

 

Oy!

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I just watched it now too! I think he's good looking also...but then...I'm OLD! My ex husband proposed after 1 month. We were married in 10 months. And we didn't like each other for 20 years. He had a temper. Controlling. Not a nice person. Beat on me. Had bruises on my wedding pic. He met someone after we were divorced, and he married her 8 months later. I think they're happy. Hopefully he mellowed, or she just knows how to handle him.

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RealityNut--wow, so sorry to hear your story. Bruises in the wedding pic? Unbelievable. What an a-hole. Do you really think his new wife is happy? Do you really think they're a happy-go-lucky couple, and she just "knows how to handle him"? Or do you think she's hiding behind a gritted teeth smile? I'd bet a lot that he hasn't changed at all. Maybe he's not hitting her physically, or maybe not yet. Or maybe it's emotional abuse. Unless he's gotten a lot of help (and I'm betting he hasn't), he very likely has not changed.

 

Annia--you can find the podcast on iTunes. If you have an iPhone, you can look on the podcast app that's already on the phone. Or you can listen to it online. It's riveting (to me!), as it's not told in 3rd person, but in 1st person, by Debra and her daughters, helped along by the writer who wrote the story for the L.A. Times.

 

I married someone I met online within 6 months of meeting. This was back in 2000, when OLD was new and I thought I found my soulmate. Within weeks of meeting, the control started. He never touched me physically, but it was mental abuse, walking on eggshells, as anything I said could set him off. I still married him, because I was so "in loooooove". Lasted 1 year, and it was he who initiated the divorce. I never would have, I'm sorry to say.

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