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Thread: Can a unhappy relationship can turn into a happy one.

  1. #1
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    Can a unhappy relationship can turn into a happy one.

    Me and my bf had been living together for almost a year. We were happy at first. But eventually he turned cold, we maybe living in the roof but seems like we live in different house. If we used to just lay on the couch and watch movie. Now we will be sitting in different couch just coz he says its hot.
    We started arguing, fighting like literally every night.
    He then suggested to live separately but still will be seeing each other. He said he didnt want us to be arguing every day. But that doesnt work for me. I mean who would want to be in a relationship that after you live together, will now live separately( ok that is actually normal) and then he will just contact you whenever he wants too?? I find it crazy.. its like be with me or leave me.
    Then now he come up to the idea that i should go for a vacation, live in my home town and be there for 4 months.
    He said that is the only option he has to save our relationship, i asked him why too long.. he then said that he lost his self. That he do not know what to think anymore. That maybe this living separately will help us fix our both self.
    So he booked my ticket,4 days prior to my flight he wanted to stay with his friend till im gone. It hurts me so bad. Like really.
    I had an emotional break down, i kept crying whole day. I couldnt eat and all. I lost 8 kg in 2 weeks of us arguing and fighting.
    He is so hopeful that us will be fix and be ok with this set up but i dont know coz really right now i cant even say a word without him getting mad.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I don't think there's any chance of this relationship turning happy. I am sorry that you are going through this. I think you should cut your losses and move on. Take care of yourself.

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    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Who starts these fights? Over what? How long have you lived together? Who's the one who actually rents / owns the place? Was he supporting you? It's a bit strange it'd be as simple as you leaving at his behest. I'd assume you have some kind of job or schooling that just picking up and flying home would disrupt. But yeah, fighting literally every night isn't going to be sustainable for very long. Honestly, if that's the case, I'd hope you could see the benefit in separating yourselves. I don't know the nature and details of your relationship to identify a "bad guy," but I'd focus first and foremost on getting home safely and getting in touch with friends and loved ones.

  4. 02-04-2019, 06:18 PM
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Who starts these fights? Over what? How long have you lived together? Who's the one who actually rents / owns the place? Was he supporting you? It's a bit strange it'd be as simple as you leaving at his behest. I'd assume you have some kind of job or schooling that just picking up and flying home would disrupt. But yeah, fighting literally every night isn't going to be sustainable for very long. Honestly, if that's the case, I'd hope you could see the benefit in separating yourselves. I don't know the nature and details of your relationship to identify a "bad guy," but I'd focus first and foremost on getting home safely and getting in touch with friends and loved ones.
    I think this worst fight started when It when we open our company since he has a job and i am more knowledgeable in our business than him so He asked me to leave my job and just focus on our's which i thought was ok. But prior to that we would always argue for small things and i would get mad and say something i didnt mean. He said he was hurt by it. Which is i understand and apologise like million times already.

    He wasnt like that, he used to be respectful and kind and sweet. He literally swept me off my feet. But things change he started to be cold and moody and all. So since our office is still under construction, i had to work from home. I dont know if your know how it.feels to be alone in the house the whole day.

    All i asked is after he came from work, atleast have some quality time together but he would always be mad.

    So i finally asked why? What happened to us. All he says is that he lost his self and he needs to find himself and i have to find myself too since he think of me as being jealous and that we are moving too fast.

    Sometimes i would think, maybe he is missing his old life that always out with his friends. But then i never stopped him from going out. Or i would think that he is tired of me asked what if? But i just want to be sure with all the decision we make.

    He is paying for the house as he refuse to share it.with me. And now since i am running our business i do not have an actual job.

    I told him i want to go back to my hometown to open a business on my own and then now he is using it to send me home

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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I don't think there's any chance of this relationship turning happy. I am sorry that you are going through this. I think you should cut your losses and move on. Take care of yourself.
    With everything that has happened to us, i thought so too so i asked to let me go and we just have to move forward. However he doesnt want too. He said that he wants us fix and being separated physically for a while will work

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    It is really confusing.. q
    We would fight but then he dont want to end us he said that he just needed sometime to find himself and us being separated is not to end us but to work on our selfs

  9. #7
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    No one has to let you go. There are two people here. He does not dictate what you do. You leave on your own.

    I'm sorry, but this is the beginning of the end. You take a break. you return to the same problems. Have you tried counseling?

  10. #8
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    How will it be with work if you move to your home town like this?

    BTW, this doesn't seem like a resolution to fix the relationship but more like him wanting to break up but not wanting to tell you directly and trying to do it gradually and smoothly. I wouldn't bet on this one. I'm very sorry OP.

  11. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why did you move in together so quickly? That in itself is a red flag. Did the "coldness" start when you moved in? What are the arguments about?

    Agree with him that living together is not working and you should move out. He wants to end things he wants you out of his house. It would be best for you to go back to your hometown and live wherever you lived before.

    Accept it's over. He is just claiming he want to "separate and you vacation at home 4 mos" so he can get you out of his house and end the relationship.
    Originally Posted by joycequines
    Me and my bf had been living together for almost a year. We were happy at first. we maybe living in the roof but seems like we live in different house.

    He then suggested to live separately. he come up to the idea that i should go for a vacation, live in my home town and be there for 4 months.


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