Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 21

Thread: Would You Consider This Okay?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    17,474
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I agree.

    I don't think we ever choose people by accident, even the broken ones. We choose them due to our own issues or something inside of us that thinks we either don't deserve better or can't do better.

    There is always a reason somewhere as to why a relationship with the wrong person keeps happening.
    Totally agree, Girl!!!!!!!!

  2. #12
    Bronze Member thisisrichey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    195
    Hi Slagar,

    She is a game player - #1. So you first have to decide if you want to play the game (back) or not.
    That she had sex with you is not insignificant - unless of course she has sex with everybody (part of the game could be lying to you abotu never having been with another guy yet or not - was there anything you could determine about this when you had sex with her (supposedly the first time she ever had sex? if that is true sex would have been rather uncomfortable and possibly painful for her.. ). Or did it seem natural and flowing and familiar (in which case she's probably kissed and been with a man before?)

    So here is what we know - she likes to chase you. She likes to play games and encourage you to come close, then push you away when you do. You can play the same game back depending on what you want from this - at true relationship or some fun. If you want a true relationship - walk away from her. There is no healthy relationship with game players. If you want fun - then it's time to turn the tables and make her chase you. How? the more you resist the more she tries to get you to pursue her right? So keep resisting until SHE has to pursue YOU and see what happens. Then even if you give in, always make it feel like your resisting in some way.. or keep her at bay now and then.

    Good luck.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    17,474
    Originally Posted by thisisrichey
    Hi Slagar,

    She is a game player - #1. So you first have to decide if you want to play the game (back) or not.
    That she had sex with you is not insignificant - unless of course she has sex with everybody (part of the game could be lying to you abotu never having been with another guy yet or not - was there anything you could determine about this when you had sex with her (supposedly the first time she ever had sex? if that is true sex would have been rather uncomfortable and possibly painful for her.. ). Or did it seem natural and flowing and familiar (in which case she's probably kissed and been with a man before?)

    So here is what we know - she likes to chase you. She likes to play games and encourage you to come close, then push you away when you do. You can play the same game back depending on what you want from this - at true relationship or some fun. If you want a true relationship - walk away from her. There is no healthy relationship with game players. If you want fun - then it's time to turn the tables and make her chase you. How? the more you resist the more she tries to get you to pursue her right? So keep resisting until SHE has to pursue YOU and see what happens. Then even if you give in, always make it feel like your resisting in some way.. or keep her at bay now and then.

    Good luck.
    That sounds like a lot of games and a complete waste of time. Why would you encourage him to pursue any of this? Plus, she has been cold all along.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,921
    Gender
    Female
    I agree with Holly. Too many games and why make so many effort in games to get someone you're so incompatible with? Would he have to continue to play games through out all the relationship? For the ego of saying he got her? To feel good about himself for having someone who's not a match pursuing him?

    Too much effort and time spent in something that won't lead no where good and healthy.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    7,569
    OP, we tried to warn you in your last thread not to pursue this: [Register to see the link]

    Unfortunately, you have learned the hard way that we were right. This is a dead end and you need to drop the whole idea. She is not going to be your girlfriend.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Age
    28
    Posts
    1,424
    Gender
    Female
    People don't listen lol so why is he posting asking for advice?

    I doubt this girl is even a virgin to begin with. Who goes from "not ever been kissed" to sex just like that?

    She's got major issues and the OP clearly does to. There is no silver lining in this messed up situation. I'd be running away.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    20,951
    Gender
    Female
    Would You Consider This Okay?
    It might be okay for you, but there's no way I'd involve myself with anyone who's not capable of having a loving, trusting and relaxed relationship.

  9. #18
    Gold Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    711
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    OP, we tried to warn you in your last thread not to pursue this: [Register to see the link]

    Unfortunately, you have learned the hard way that we were right. This is a dead end and you need to drop the whole idea. She is not going to be your girlfriend.
    After reading that thread I not only agree with this comment, I also notice that it's not the first time you took things to the extreme
    I was so hurt by the rejection at this stage - the words and actions cut so deep
    when she shuts you down.... or points something out that you are doing that makes her uncomfortable.

    At the end of the day while your feelings are valid, you seem to be choosing to engage in self-destructive behavior with this woman... reinforcing your low self-worth by continuing to have a relationship with her even though you feel like $hit because of how she is behaving towards you... knowing you are in a fragile place as you recover from your PTSD.

    Nothing any one on here says is going to fix your situation until you are willing to take action on your end.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    22,622
    Gender
    Female
    Things moved too quickly for her -- and she put the breaks on.
    I think blanking her and going no contact was childish.
    I think you should acknowledge that she is not playing games - she got carried away in the moment. She tried the idea of being Western and dating on, and it freaked her out a little bit.
    If she were a non-immigrant and you made out and she told you she went too far and wanted to take things slow, would you angrily block her number??
    I would have, in your shoes, agreed with her that you would not kiss her and meet her again for coffee and act in friendship so therefore even if you don't see her after that, you end things on a good note, and not some guy who angrily decides she is a player. It would have been good for you in your emotional development, too. you don't have to smite everyone that decides you are not for them.

    I agree that you should only date women who are available -- women who are in the market to find a man to date.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    22,622
    Gender
    Female
    Please get help for your PTSD before pursuing any other woman.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •