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Thread: 200 days of no contact

  1. #1
    Gold Member
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    200 days of no contact

    Hey everybody!

    I just thought I'd check in since there were countless people here helping me through my personal nightmare. I figure it's only right.

    Well, today I made it to the 200 day mark. I know lots of people here usually say, "once you don't know how long it's been since you've contacted them last, you'll know you're over them."

    So does this mean I'm still not over her? Eh...I still have good days and bad days. The good news is I'm not absolutely devistated anymore. I'm still angry and I doubt we can ever be friends again, but that is life.

    She tried to contact me many times since March, but I've ignored her every time. I was the dumpee, so that made it a little easier. Plus, for as much as I tried and begged, I could never get her to feel the way she once did.

    So I accept things now. Before...even a few months ago, I didn't. I still have a tiny bit of hope that she'll come back one day, but I'm not holding my breath.

    I don't really get depressed anymore. The only time I've gotten depressed lately is when I'd go out on a date and find out the girl I'm seeing isn't what I'd hoped she'd be, and I don't want to get to know her any further. That's when I really get depressed. But I don't get depressed over the ex anymore.

    It feels like ancient history, but sometimes it still really bugs me.

    So this message is for all those just starting NC: keep at it. The pain will start to go away. Your feelings will start to fade. You'll start to see all the holes in your relationship and you'll start to realize your partner had many more flaws than you originally thought.

    I've more or less let go. I've cut contact with everyone I've met through her and all of our mutual friends. I've completely let go. It isn't easy, but it can be done if you put your mind to it. Destroy everything you have that reminds you...or at least, put it in a memory box, then bury it in the back yard, or put it in an old dusty trunk in the attic.

    You can't dwell on the past. The world keeps moving, even if you don't want it to.

    I feel for each and every one of you just going through this. It was the worst feeling ever. She was my first true love. And even though I sometimes think bad thoughts about people, I would never wish a broken heart on anyone. I don't think there's anything more evil because I don't know of anything worse than a broken heart. Keep your head up, try to appreciate the things you do have and the people who stayed by your side, and believe you'll find the right person someday.

  2. #2
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    Hmmm...just realized this would be more relevant in the healing after breakup forum, but I guess the breakup section is ok, too.

  3. #3

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    Bravo for hanging in there and being strong. This will be inspiring for people going through a hard time to see that there is light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

    Congrats!!!!

  4. #4
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    Yeh, it does get easier with time. I feel the exact same way as you. I'm not depressed by it nor am i letting it hold me back. I've continued with my life and walking tall at the moment. Time is only the partial healer, meeting new and diff people with whom u are comfortable and compatible with helps you to move on. That's what i've done.

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member Psychomagnet's Avatar
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    agree totally

    Yes it does get better!

    I never believed that...not once. but after 8 years of bein strung along..I finally cut the cord from her.

    I honestly can't remember exactly when i spoke to her or her family (her dad used to call me 1-2 per week), i just know it was sometime this past year.

    i dropped myspace...changed phone number an all that (no warnings either)and even though i was a lil gun-shy about doin that...i remember telling myself "No you need to do this for YOU!"

    I'll share what helped me...something my brother told me. he said "you will never get over it..BUT you WILL get past it!" that helped me change my goal. I didnt feel the pressure anymore to "get over" anything, but i wanted to get past all of it.

    since then i dated (ya i was shocked too) around and am now starting a relationship(cautiously) with a woman 1000x better than my ex.

    I refuse to willfully give my ex any access into my life...but not out of spite, but because I don't want to stir up anything or reopen old wounds. I truly wish for her to be happy in whatever she does. also becuase I know her pattern all too well and cant trust her, doesnt mean shes a bad person at all..just dont want to open myself to that pattern again.

    and best part...I'm happy, with myself!

    So yes i know i'll never be "over it" and thats okay...but i am definitely past it for good!

    So yes NC worked not in the way i originally wanted but I am happy and couldnt have gotten this far without it.

    Please keep the faith...there are people who love you...and people out there who can love you so much better than the ones who walk away, YOU DESERVE THAT!! settle for NO less!.

    I hope these words helped someone as Fivespot and the others posts helped me to see i wasnt alone at all nor was my case a rare case by any measure.

    and Gratz! on 200 days!. that is something to be proud of for sure!

  7. #6
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    I am also approaching 200 days of NC. Ex-wife left 4.5 years ago and I still miss her.

    What makes it easier is the fact that she is still single and hasnít met anyone yet.

    For Christmas and New Year, she is spending the Holidays with her mom, and she is nearly 40 years old.

    No matter what, donít give up hope, I have an ex chase me back 15 years after she dumped me with the firm intention of never coming back.

    i am a huge believer in NC. On that note, I wish a Merry Christmas to all, and never lose hope! Itís never as bad as we think!


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