My boyfriend thinks I slept with someone else. help!

I'm in a 7 year relationship with my boyfriend. Two years ago, things were grim, we had fights everyday and nothing seemed to be going well. I have to clarify, he's going through depression since before I met him. So, two years ago when thing were awful, I started to crush on a guy who came to my work place every now and then. Since I knew nothing could ever happen, and I didn't WANT anything to happen, my stupid teenager head decided that it wouldn't be that bad to just look at his photos (facebook was the only place and I didn't want to add him as a friend, so I just went for the little amount of pics I could find). My bofriend found out looking through my phone, we had another fight, and after that I deleted whatever sign there was that I was looking for his photos. My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him, and since I don't have proof to tell him I didn't, he thinks that everytime I tell him that I didn't do anything more than fantasize, he doesn't believe me and that talk seems to have no solution because it's his word against mine. I told him the reasons why I did it, but this is something that happened two years ago and he won't let go of it or trust me. I'm scared because everytime the subject afloats we seem to be more distant and hurt about it, and I don't want my relationship to deteriorate over something that never happened. How can I solve this? We've spent many hours of many days trying to figure this pout and nothing works and I'm going crazy. Thank you, everyone

My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him, and since I don't have proof to tell him I didn't, he thinks that everytime I tell him that I didn't do anything more than fantasize, he doesn't believe me and that talk seems to have no solution because it's his word against mine. I told him the reasons why I did it, but this is something that happened two years ago and he won't let go of it or trust me.

You can’t have a relationship without trust. And on top of it, he’s got a mental illness that is not curable. His mind is already set about you and whatever delusion he choose to believe.

Personally, I would be pissed at him that he violated my trust by going through my own phone without permission if I were you. If he doesn’t pay the bill, then he keeps his hands off.

If he keeps bringing it up, then it’s time to let him go. Really, his insecurity sounds so exhausting and you both are clearly unhappy with each other. This won’t get better because he’s not willing to buy the hatchet.

What I'd be asking is not how to solve this, but what you're getting out of this at this point.

I mean, this has lingered for two years? Is it that you feel so guilty—or he's driven you to feel so guilty—that you're just trying to atone? And what about him looking through your phone? That's the biggest violation of trust in this whole story.

He was depressed, you crushed for a sec, looked at some photos—call me crazy, but that sounds about as G-rated as it gets. People in the healthiest, sexiest, most loving relationships do things like this all the time.

I hate to say it, but this just doesn't sound good.

How can I solve this? We've spent many hours of many days trying to figure this pout and nothing works and I'm going crazy. Thank you, everyone

You can't solve it because your boyfriend likes to hold it over you so he can inflict pain and suffering on you. He wants you to feel as miserable as he does and he doesn't want to see you happy. It's time for you to move on. If you're only about 21, you have the entire world ahead of you. There are men out there who aren't depressed and can love you back equally. It's time to move on with your life and to finally be happy. You don't have to let this guy keep pulling you down.

You need to end this! You should have ended it two years ago.

How old is your bf? You've been dating since you were under 12 years old? Your relationship sounds miserable. End it. Focus on school, work, and your friends and family. You hate your bf, you want someone else, anyone else. Just leave.

I'm in a 7 year relationship with my boyfriend. my stupid teenager head decided...

It's extremely hard, near impossible, to prove a negative. Nothing will be good enough for him. He needs to get professional help to get over his insecurities, should you decide to stay. The majority of people in relationships have insignificant crushes and don't act on them. You only looked up pictures and he's treating this as if he found out you cheated on him. It's an overreaction.

After two years and its still an issue? If he also intentionally brings it back just to turn tables on you or get an upper hand in something. Its a bad sign.

He should let it go already. If it helps, try talking to the guy you had a crush on so things will become clearer and it can be confirmed that nothing ever happened.

But if your boyfriend is not willing to cooperate then he is not willing to believe you truly. I suggest you cut ties, that is a bad relationship if he cannot trust your words.

I can understand him cuz of his state of mind but I still do believe my partner's loyalty to me even though he jokingly flirts with others. His love for you isn't that deep.

this is something that happened two years ago and he won't let go of it or trust me.

What's in it for you to stay with someone who doesn't trust you?

I'd skip that. I'd tell BF, "I adore you and can picture the two of us spending our elderly years together. That's why I need to walk away while we both still care about one another--to preserve future potential. You take all the time you need to decide whether you believe that I'm trustworthy enough to invest in going forward. If not, then we don't belong together, but if so, you can let me know. If I'm still available then, we can meet to catch up under the agreement that we'll never discuss this old business again. Either way, I wish you the best, and I hope we'll meet on higher ground someday."

Boom. Done. I'd fly off of the guy's radar and stay out of contact. It makes no sense to keep beating a dead horse. If BF isn't willing to trust you, then your relationship has no legs, and you're best off moving your focus toward building a fabulous future for yourself. If BF decides to stop gnawing the old bone, then maybe you'll have a shot together. Either way, getting away to let HIM figure that out is the only way either of you can trust in a future together.

Head high, and read my sig.

If you're only about 21, you have the entire world ahead of you. There are men out there who aren't depressed and can love you back equally. It's time to move on with your life and to finally be happy. You don't have to let this guy keep pulling you down.

No, maybe I explained myself wrong. We're both on our mid 20s, I'm 25 he's 26. Soo yeah, we kinda have plans to build a life together... He has started seeing a therapist and we talked about it peacefully for the first time so here's hoping...

How old is your bf? You've been dating since you were under 12 years old?

No no, I used the term teenager head to represent how immature I was, but I'm 25, so this happened when I was around 22-23.

Thank you for your help, your answers have helped me to see that I'm right when I say he overreacted. He has started seeing a therapist this week due to his depression, and I'm hopeful it will make him see things clearly and help him move on with me. I know you all say I should just leave, but I want to make sure I do everything that's on my power to not only move on from this and trust each other, but also treat his depression the right way. I care about him and I love him, I can't just throw 7 years of history to the trash. We've grown adults together, we started dating when we were 18 and now we are 25. I hope you understand he's not just some guy that doesn't trust me, he's my best friend. With all the trusting issues and flaws. Please feel free to add anything or ask me anything if you want. I'm praying to every godly entity that may exist that this therapy will get him through. I also want to clarify I'm not the most honest or open person, I'm very restrained and even though I didn't cheat, I did hide many feelings for a long time, and I'm trying to stop that too.