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Thread: FairFight

  1. #31
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    Hi Mel, Thanks. Husbands do not ask such question, but I have to admit. I did ponder this. My cats are in the house. These are not my cats. They are the ferals from the woods. I'm not sure about the passive/aggressive stuff. I can tell you that going through 4 cancers is enough to drive anyone, or any couple off the deep end. It's hard to describe what a person goes through when the doctor walks through the door and tells you CANCER. You can't even imagine what it is like. Imagine it 4 times. Honestly, the first time I was, 26 I think,, can't really remember. 2010 was chemo and radiation. I was already use to the bald stuff,,, I'm 59 now,,, lol. That's a cancer joke,,,, must maintain a good sense of humor. You'd be surprised at how many times my wife and I will start the day like any retired couple, nothing a miss. Bam. where did that argument come from? Well, that sucked. Later,,, hugging and apologizing at us being a bit on edge over,,,,,,, fill in the blank. Tears running down our faces as we both feel bad,,,,, ending with hugs and laughs,,, and on a good day,,,, that's another story :-). Thanks mel :-).

  2. #32
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    Now Holly. Those are fightin' words, ;-). We been feeding these ferals for years. I wish they's stray,, lol. I'm joking Holly. Yea, I can understand feeding the cats,, really I can. But by 10 pm, snuggled in and warm, almost asleep,,, they've eaten so many times today,, more than me actually,,, I admit it,,, right then, I wanted to be more important than the cats,, and in fact, derive benefit by not being disturbed,,, by cats who have eaten more than me today. Oh, it snowed a few inches the other day here in Baltimore,, and we got a nice waterproof cat house, with a heated cat bed, big enough for them both,,,,,, covered it with a huge sheet of plastic, so the snow didn't touch them. They are living pretty well for outdoor cats. THat part about "your" cats,,,, I think you're splitting hares there,,, lol. What's up doc? Thank you for your time Holly .

  3. #33
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    Fool, thank you for your detailed and well-thought out response. Resentment. You might be onto something,,,, let me see,,,,,,,,,,

  4. #34
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    maew. Thank you. Short and sweet, and to the point. I like your response. Lacking any sort of predetermined set of baggage to view the exchange through. You, my friend, are a very astute poster, and I thank you. "the whole exchange makes no sense",,,, was exactly my response. Your first line is answered in another post. Again, thanks.

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  6. #35
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    TwT. Thank you. I agree that wording is so very important. Yes, I may have had an edge in my voice that I had not intended,,, to this I do admit. I am liking these responses that simplify things rather than casting the whole thing in some sort or murcky,,, "you need help" type of posts. But I do appreciate everyones response. That is what perspective is all about. Thanks.

  7. #36
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    goddess. In addition to liking the name, I like your opinion. I am very careful when I argue. I do not, have never, and never will,,, call her a name. Except,,, please forgive me,,, I do call her baby sometimes,,, but never in public,, :-). goddess, I'm not sure where you are on the matrimony spectrum, but, generally speaking, every husband knows,,,, if your lips are moving your losing. No, it's not the best way to handle conflict. But it is the quickest way to shut up your wife(please forgive me). It's a fact. Take a poll of every husband you know. Ask the question in a way so the guy knows what you are asking him. Like" do you ever just shut down the conversation to make your wife stop?" Or something like that,,, and make sure the wife isn't standing there. I will be checking back for the results. I'm having a bit of fun here goddess, but there's something to it. I wasn't sure about bring up the past. I mean, I got cancer 4 times,,, how much payment for smoking must I endure to have finally paid that price? I think I deserve to live out my life, from 2018 on,,,, having quite smoking in 2010, when I was diagnosed with cancer ,,, and not have smoking thrown in my face over stupid sh,,,,, stuff, excuse me. But like I said,,, I needed a bit of perspective,,, and thank you for your perspective goddess :-).

  8. #37
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    TwT, thanks. I wasn't really looking for any ammunition to use against her in any way. The issue is past,,, we been buddies all day ,, :-). To be honest, I think we're both "walking on eggshells" a bit. We've been though a lot, and our raw emotions simmer just below the surface,,, sometimes waiting for any little spark to set things off. Of course,,, that's what makes being in love with strong woman so much fun ;-). I appreciate your well-thought response.

  9. #38
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    you are reading a lot into my post abitbroken, but I appreciate your response. This exchange had nothing to do with sex. At least,,, I am pretty sure it didn't. I mean,,,, is there anything a guy does that doesn't have to do with sex somehow, in someway,, ???? Oh,,, maybe that's just me. No,, I had been sick for almost a week. I am sexless right now,,, since last week sometime. Last Saturday was our day,, which is the day I got sick. I should just not say anything,,, which is akin to,,, if your lips are moving your losing,, lol. I get it. Why think it through,,,,, shut up, give in, be happy. I bother her,,, lol. I'm sure I do,, we been married almost 20 years. Where would ever find two people who have lived together for 20 years,,, at home all day with nothing to do but feed cats and have sex,,,,, it's no wonder I bother her so much,,,, once in a while,,,, when planets align,, or the earths magnetic field begins to tilt,,,,, she bothers me. But I'd never admit it,, lol. But that's just me ;-). I will take your advice though. Today I hereby dedicate myself to not being a baby. Man,,, if I ever hurried her to bed to have sex,,, while she was feeding the cats,,, OMG,,, I think the planet would split open,,, lol. Not to mention my 4 indoor cats would sit around our bed watching,,, and I can't have that,,, to many moving parts for cats to be in the room 8-)

  10. #39
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    abitbroken,,,,, wow,,, I must have filled the in-between-the-lines with all sorts of good stuff,, lol . That particular day, I had held the door for her several times, as we were both outside dealing with snow/ice storm. Huffed and pouted. I am trying to imagine myself huffing and pouting,,, hhmmm. I'm not seeing it. But maybe I'm blind to it, and need to be a bit more gentle,,, yes,, that's it. Thank you abit. Everyone's opinion counts. Thanks for yours.

  11. #40
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    yep. It's always the guys fault,,, thank you. I will file that one right down here,,, next to the important stuff,,, I keep,,, right down here.

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