Lies and confusion

Hello. I am not sure where to even start with this situation. My bf was tells me one evening that he has been looking for a new place to rent and there is one he is going to see. I asked if he had been looking online or driving around. He said online. So he goes and looks and puts an ap in. I asked him what street he said he couldn’t remember he name. (It’s just a few streets over from where he was ). When he took me past the house, I noticed the business in the corner so I knew his friend that he hangs out with every week lives on the street. So I said oh this is Jeff’s street where does he live ? He lives two doors down. He never mentioned this. Then I found out another way that Jeff is the one that told him about the house. Never mentioned that. Another time when he was out with Jeff he didn’t mention that jeffs gf was out with them too. I feel like this is fishy. Or am I overthinking ? He did lie and that’s upsetting within itself.

Thoughts ??

how did he lie? he told you he has been looking for a new place to rent - that appears to be true.

he told you out he was out with jeff - which was true.

he did not say anythign that was untrue.

he is not required to reveal every single detail baout such things surrounding evrything he does or the places he goes, etc.

there was no lying here.

you're searching for something here.

Not telling the whole truth is the same as lying. If you leave parts out it seems like something is being hidden

If your friend told about a house and his was two doors down wouldn’t you lead with that ? I would. Maybe I am just more honest. And expect too much in return.

You are going to have a very short, contentious relationship if you think these trivial things constitute "lies".

Where you live is Trivial?

Where you live is Trivial?

He took you by the house! He did not "lie" about where he'll be living.

What's trivial is not mentioning his friend lives nearby, or that his friend brought his girlfriend along on an outing. Are you insecure about the friend's girlfriend for some reason? Do you think your boyfriend likes her?

Why is it such a big deal if he lives on his friend's street?

Not telling the whole truth is the same as lying.

 

If you leave parts out it seems like something is being hidden

So what do you think he's hiding? Something sinister?

Like do you think he's cheating because he failed to mention his friend lives on the same street?

Or do you think he's cheating because he failed to mention that his friend told him about the house?

Or do you think he's cheating because he failed to mention his friend's gf was out with them one night?

These aren't "lies of omission" it's information that is totally irrelevant to your relationship or anything else.

My goodness I don't expect my boyfriend to tell me every little minutiae that goes on during his day, or in his brain or anything else, how exhausting that would be!

For him to have tell me (and god forbid he missed something lest he be accused of "lying") and for me to have to listen to it!

I trust he will tell me when or IF it becomes relevant.

Learn to pick your battles -- this isn't one! And if you choose to make it one, you risk losing this guy, not to mention you're gonna have a very difficult time maintaining relationships moving forward.

He's clearly banging his friend while the friend's girlfriend watches.

As long as you keep being nit picky like you are, you wont be happy. Your suspicions will get the better of you when there is nothing to think he's doing or will do something wrong. Yes you are over analyzing and looking for trouble where there is none. He didnt lie to you, he told you what he was doing and where the house is. The rest is not that important to the story.

He's clearly banging his friend while the friend's girlfriend watches.

Thank you for clearing that up.

Yeah, I agree with you, why would you lie about where you put in an application especially when you know exactly what street it's on? The reason is probably he didn't want you to know that he's trying to move closer to his friend so he can hang out more with him than with you. How long have you been dating him? What's your relationship like? Does he ignore you or only sees you once a week? Does he lie about other things? I'm sure there's more going on here than what you've wrote.

How long have you been dating? What's wrong with him renting a new place near a friend who recommended it? What is your role here? What difference does it make where he moves to, who lives nearby or whether his friends gfs are there or not when they go out?

My bf was tells me one evening that he has been looking for a new place to rent. I found out another way that Jeff is the one that told him about the house.

He's probably not the chatty type, and the details that are relevant to you, aren't relevant to him. Why are you suspicious? Is it in your nature, or has he cheated on you or done anything egregious since you've been dating?

How long have you been dating? What's wrong with him renting a new place near a friend who recommended it? What is your role here? What difference does it make where he moves to, who lives nearby or whether his friends gfs are there or not when they go out?

I'd like to know this too. I don't see anything especial here, maybe the part where he said it was online, but still it doesn't seem relevant to me. I also don't get why is so important and relevant him telling you the friend's girlfriend was there when they went out. Why is that important?

If you don't trust your BF, what are you doing with him? If the guy is hiding something, why would he take you on a drive by?

I've found places online that were right in my neighborhood--near friends. I don't recall the street names, either.

After signing my last lease, I had to call back the rental office to learn the exact street address to give my movers. I guess I'm shady.