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Thread: Need some advice moving forward

  1. #11

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    No i reached out to her on social media and basically said hi and it just grew from there we just got talking and we started flirting with each other quite early on , she invited me out for a drink a few times, we had lunch together and she came over to chill once or twice.

    "she recently told me she didnt feel that sexual attraction from me and told me that she was seeing someone else"

    agreed however read the part closely that says sexual attraction from me, that does not mean she did not have sexual attraction for me does it. Her seeing someone else is also irrelevant to me as this is like 1-2 weeks old if that

    Like i said i think this is all my mess and it can be turned around with the right advice and direction.

    you just know when someone is into you and i totally got that vibe she just looked at me in that way that she didnt look at anyone else...

    and beleive me i would of been the first to give up a long time ago if i didnt think there was nothing there but you sort of just know and thats not me being selfish from my own point of view i have felt it from her side.

    just lost and confused about this situation i have put myself in.
    Last edited by CJ101; 11-14-2018 at 10:32 AM.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    "Her seeing someone else is also irrelevant to me as this is like 1-2 weeks old if that"

    It might be irrelevant to you, but it's not to her. The reason she told you is so that you will stop pursuing her romantically. It's also unethical for you to continue. How would you like it if you started dating a girl for a few weeks and she told a guy who was interested in her that sorry, she was dating you, and he continued to pursue her anyway?

    Even though they are likely not exclusive, they are focusing on one another, and so she is off-limits. I'm glad that your health problem isn't as scary as you thought. You're only human and you were dealing with a scary episode. What's done is done. With a lifetime of experience, I've come to realize that the things that happened the opposite of what I would've liked, was really for the best. I had a feeling my guardian angel knew what was best for me in the long run. I found from someone else after the fact, that a guy who I really wanted badly but didn't get, was an alcoholic. My husband didn't get certain jobs and was really depressed about it, but he eventually got a great job better than the previous ones he applied for.

    It's hard for you to forget about someone you wanted so badly, but maybe fate is stepping in because she's not who is right for you. You took a risk and it didn't pan out. Cut contact because you can't be friends with someone you're sexually attracted to. She's not the only woman in the world you can have chemistry with. Time to free up your emotional energy and time for someone who is as excited about you as you are for her. Take care.

  3. #13

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    "How would you like it if you started dating a girl for a few weeks and she told a guy who was interested in her that sorry, she was dating you, and he continued to pursue her anyway?"

    i wouldnt like it but unfortunatly thats just how society is these days its just a fact of life for both genders and it does happen all the time, at least i see it where i am from.

    That being said i appreciate your input and will take it aboard, yes it sucks but like you said maybe its not meant to be and its for the best.

    Thankyou for putting that in to perspective for me :)

  4. #14
    Silver Member Pretzel's Avatar
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    I feel like you're just blaming yourself too much for the situation rather than just accepting it wasn't right and it wasn't necessarily your fault. Sorry but if I really had a hard crush on a guy, for me, he wouldn't blow it by not sleeping with me on a first date, if it was even that. I would be patient and want to see him again and wouldn't leave it all up to the guy. It has to be a two-way street and mutual understanding and effort and patience.

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  6. #15

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    thats what i have been trying to express all along that she was patient with me. She was the one who would message me wanting to see me and didnt leave it all up to me, she did reach out, i think she just didnt get the piece of me she was looking for because at the time it wasnt there for me for reasons i stated earlier.

    yes maybe i am being a little bit hard on myself, but she has only just found out the reason she never really got me as i dragged it out dealing with it myself.
    but like you said if it was meant to be she wouldnt care about that so i told her recently and cut contact and if its meant to be it will be if not its her loss.

    I certainly am not downbeat for the future , i already have a date lined up thursday so that will be a positive step forward.

  7. #16

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    she persisted for months even as i was talking to another girl so its not like she didnt give me the opportunity i just found it difficult to reciprocate with her when in fact its all i ever wanted to do.

    Is it possible to try again in the future or is it dead in the water with this girl now?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't keep beating yourself up over it. She's no longer interested and said she's seeing someone. Also often friendzoning is the "it's me, not, you" type thing. Let it go. Focus on other women to date.
    Originally Posted by CJ101
    she persisted for months even as i was talking to another girl

  9. #18

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    thanks everyone for your input much appreciated

  10. #19
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    No, he just randomly texted me last month when he got a new bike, saying he wanted to take me for a ride and it just kinda when on from there.

  11. #20

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    huh, are you in the wrong thread?

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