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Thread: No love at first sight!

  1. #1
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    No love at first sight!

    So i am fully aware that dating and love isn't anything like they portray it in the movies. I know it isn't always love at first sight, its very rare for everything to just be perfect especially right off the bat. But my question is, is it possible to fall in love over a long period of time rather than fairly quickly?

    I fell in love with my ex pretty much instantly, there was absolutely zero doubt to begin with. I wouldn't say I've been in love other than with my ex, but the girlfriend before that (i was fairly young, about 17), despite not necessarily being in love, i certainly liked her a lot after only dating her for a couple of weeks. So from past experiences i am used to being really into them really quickly.

    Ive been dating someone for about 2 months now and things are going well, we have lots in common, similar values and goals and we get on well and i enjoy her company. However, i don't feel like i am falling in love at all. I know 2 months isn't a very long time but i would've thought id have stronger feelings by now. Or can these strong feeling develop over a longer period of time?

    Thanks,
    Rob

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like there's no chemistry even if she is "nice". There may be a checklist of "lots in common, similar values and goals, we get on well, i enjoy her company", but if the attraction and chemistry are missing, you are dealing with a potential female friend at best.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Ruggycole
    Ive been dating someone for about 2 months now and things are going well, we have lots in common, similar values and goals and we get on well and i enjoy her company. However, i don't feel like i am falling in love at all. I know 2 months isn't a very long time but i would've thought id have stronger feelings by now. Or can these strong feeling develop over a longer period of time?
    Its hard to explain but I know what your asking about because it happened to me. Maybe you`re looking too hard for things to happen instead of letting things happen naturally.

    My experience has been Ive been out with girls and hadn't thought of anything but through the passage if time Ive changed my mind about them. It depends on the timing I suppose but it can also be on how the other person deals with situations. The girls I left didn't pursue we just let thing be but further down the line after a while they come back into my mind or if theres a chance meeting someone were or over time if they have looked after themselves.

    There was one girl I sat next to at work for 2 years and suddenly one day it hit me I liked her. Sometimes it to to with how you feel or how they interact with you but I would say give it some more time and if you don't feel anything then let it go. Some people just take longer to connect.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    At two months in, it should be infatuation, with love taking longer to grow. But in my opinion, the infatuation should involve looking at her and thinking, "Oh my God, she is so beautiful." And that you have pangs of lust, at times, when you two touch, caress, hug, kiss, or she looks at you in a particular way.

    If those things aren't happening, then yes, the chemistry is lacking and you'll be settling if you stay.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Chemistry isn't the same thing as love, but without it, I wouldn't be interested in dating. Either you consider your time too valuable to go through the motions with someone who doesn't share simpatico with you, or you're a more patient and generous person than I am.


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