What do I do with these mixed signals?

Met a guy 21 years older than me, I'm 31, am attractive, educated, & well rounded with hobbies not desperate. He had qualities & looks I was attracted to.

Date 1 (Friday) - Fun date & we equally asked each other questions. He requested I say "hi" to him at an event the next day. I was planning on going anyways so I did very briefly.

Date 2 (Friday)- I asked him more questions than he did me. I told him I take dating slow & discussed our religious differences given he talked about being Mormon (I’m a former Mormon). He mentioned feelings of guilt for drinking alcohol with me on the 1st date & that he makes dumb choices around beautiful girls.

Following Friday - He showed up with a date even though I had inquiried when he’d be there. He had told me on our 1st date I was the only girl he had brought. I was caught off guard, stayed by my friends, & flirted with other guys.

Later via text he said he didn't know I had wanted to meet up at karaoke and should have been more clear.

Following Friday - He invited me to join him at karaoke but withdrew that request because I was bringing my niece who loves to sing (planned before he asked). He didn't like the idea of entertaining a teen yet I didn't ask him to. I brought her with my friends, flirted with guys, he stayed across the room but did bump into me giving a compliment on my looks.

Date 3 scheduled via text - Day of requested a raincheck due to a busy schedule. Our texting reduced after that.

After a week, I scheduled a hang out- I reach out about plans at 2pm but he said it'll need to be much later because he didn't get sleep from having a panic attack. At 9pm I called to see if he was okay & left a message. I received the text at 11:35 am the next day(Monday):"LOL meds made me sleep 14 hrs". After 10 hours I reply joking he was flaky. He responded he didn’t care if people see him as flaky then called me flaky for taking 10 hrs to respond. I requested we chat via phone call explaining it was miscommunication but he didn't respond.

Hang out (Wednesday)- He texted requesting I say "hi" at an event he was doing. I dropped by, he was very flirty and mentioned he'd have kids with me if I wanted them if we ever get married. I'm used to hearing people in Utah talk about that stuff too early. I asked him questions but he didn't ask me questions.

Friday - I missed a call from him. He was going to karaoke again, I was camping.

Our texting further reduces so I initiate but he often wouldn't respond. Meanwhile, he'd blow up my FB newsfeed with posts/comments(he added me the day we met before asking me on a date).

I reached out via text about things going on in society to show some of MY interests but he informed me he won't read things beyond 5 words & I was a bit much (despite him having texted me in the beginning with texts longer than 5 words). It did offend me but I kept that to myself.

He asked me on our 3rd date a week after spending time at Wednesday night karaoke.

Date 3 (Wednesday) - I asked him questions, he didn't ask me questions. He mentioned during this date AGAIN that he'd have a kid with me if we got married & he'd want the kid to attend church but also contradicted himself by saying "if you were Mormon, I'd be all over you". I told him I’d never believe in Mormonism.I joked about his no longer than 5 words message and he informed me to send him a Marco Polo because he'd actually listen to those.

Following day/week - I initiated convos via Marco Polo & only got 1 response from the 1st video. I asked a question in the next video but heard nothing.

Friday night - I went to karaoke with my niece & friends. He showed up, saw me, and sent a text "hello there". Didn't come over to say "hi", and even sat in a different spot with his back facing towards me. I didn't approach him but I tested the waters and said "I'm having a hard day". No response whatsoever.

2 days go by, I'm confused & frustrated because being ignored hurts. I unfriended him from FB so I didn't feel tempted to see him interact with everyone but me.

I removed him from Marco Polo & deleted his # so I don't initiate contact.

It's now 4 days since. I would have been ok if he said he lost interest or if the religious differences were the deal breaker. I'm left in the dark & it's frustrating. I'm just giving him space & my life is not on hold plus its been a weird dynamic.

I have a few questions:

-What would prompt a guy (especially in their 50s) to send mixed signals and behave in such a way?

-How do I proceed given he pretty much hosts all the events in this town so -I'm bound to run into him? I'm not giving up my love of karaoke.

-If he asks why I unfriended him or don't message, what is the best way to respond (or not)?

-What should I have done differently?

-Am I overreacting? (I actually think it’s too soon for social media connections)

-Am I cheating myself being open to a friendship?

Thank you!

Omg, so much drama.

I am his age and I wouldnt have kept this "friendship", "dating", whatever it is going for as long as you did.

You did the right thing by deleting him on everything. He sounds like a player.

If he asks why just tell him you are no longer interested in pursuing anything with him.

You arent over reacting, you arent cheating yourself out of anything & you deserve someone who wants to read & answer your texts.

If & when you run into him just be cordial, say hello then go and sit elsewhere. He will soon realise it is over.

He was not exclusively dating you.

He told you things you wanted to hear.

He tells you "i'd be all over you, BUT..."

to relieve himself of any guilt or promise that he is interested.

I have a feeling if you stay interested, he'll keep flirting or take advantage of that, and then slam you down when you get too involved "I told you that you aren't Mormon...so..."

If he is 50s and never married, you are not the first woman he has behaved this way with.

Why not meet other men?

Thank you so much!

I'm definitely still dating other people. I appreciate the comments. I'm done with him :)

Thank you for sharing your concerns with us. I’m truly sorry that you are dealing with such difficult situation. These forums are great for sharing burdens, and venting. It seems that you are interested in this man, but he does not fulfil your expectations. I encourage you to seek someone a little bit closer to your age and do not be afraid to take rejection. It is part of the process when you want to meet your soulmate. Sometimes we have to face situations that are not pleasant. If you are not interested in him, then say to him: “I am busy”. It would be very important that you evaluate who you want to date. I encourage you to seek and open other male friendships. I think it is important first to learn how to be a friend and then maybe in that way some day you can find the right person. I don’t think that you are overreacting, I think that you did well unfriended him and you must not waste your time. I hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers my friend.

He sounds like a player, Leonoa, and I'd guess he's seeing and juggling multiple women at once. And I agree with the other posters here who said he's telling you what you want to hear. Definitely seems like he was feeding you lines to ensure he stayed in your good graces.

For 52 years old, he sounds pretty immature and dramatic, too. I don't know how you tolerated him for that long.

Hope you've moved on from him and that you’re enjoying the company of someone worth your time.