He asked me on a date an hour after we met!

Ok soo I meet this very cute guy and I really liked him and I could tell he liked me back . We were talking for about 5 min and my best friend came by and she told him .. did you know she is single !!! And he smiled and said really? Can I get your number! I said okay Soo I gave it to him , one hour later he txt me hi beautiful can I take u on a date Friday. it kinda of turned me off how straight forward he was, he didn’t even try to make a conversation or anything soo I told him I couldn’t because I had to work ( I really had to work that day) and immediately he said ok no problem have a good night and never txt me again !!

What did I do wrong! Is he a player! Guys please help I really liked him, should I txt him ??

But if I do I will look needy and I don’t want him to think that ! What should I do it’s been a week already.

You shut him down and offered no alternative...He prob thought you turned him down so?

I agree. I have a friend who did this and was also astounded the guy didn't get back to her. So I advised her to text him and ask him out, which she did, and how they are married with two kids. And maybe you should stop being offended when someone shows this much interest in you. Have a laundry list of specific behaviors you insist on is not going to get you what you want.

But its been a week already, wouldn’t it be too lake to ask him out! Also I don’t wana look needy!

But its been a week already, wouldn’t it be too lake to ask him out! Also I don’t wana look needy!

You don't look needy if neither of you has talked since his "never txt me again" remark. He sounds dramatic by saying that. I think you should text and say "how about that raincheck" and if he ignores you, just move on.

Either your gut instincts are right and your stomach turned for a reason, or not. If you had wanted to give him a go even though you didn't like him texting you for a date straight away, you could have said, "Before I go on a date, I'd like to get to know you a little more with texting and phone calls."

I remember doing that once on OLD, when a guy only texted and e-mailed and asked me out, and I said I'd like a few phone calls first. He was flippant with me and after he saw I was done with him at that point, said he was joking. He showed me who he was before I even met him and I didn't waste my time.

And if you are interested in someone, you always give them an alternate date that you can go out if you're not available for the time he suggests.

It's your call whether to assume he's a player and to hold out for a guy who is cute and isn't so fast about asking you out, or to take a risk and text him to see if you two can reconnect and get to know each other a little more.

Ok soo I meet this very cute guy and I really liked him and I could tell he liked me back . We were talking for about 5 min and my best friend came by and she told him .. did you know she is single !!! And he smiled and said really? Can I get your number! I said okay Soo I gave it to him , one hour later he txt me hi beautiful can I take u on a date Friday. it kinda of turned me off how straight forward he was, he didn’t even try to make a conversation or anything soo I told him I couldn’t because I had to work ( I really had to work that day) and immediately he said ok no problem have a good night and never txt me again !!

What did I do wrong! Is he a player! Guys please help I really liked him, should I txt him ??

But if I do I will look needy and I don’t want him to think that ! What should I do it’s been a week already.

Could be a couple of things.

1. You admitted you were turned off and told him you had to work with no alternative date. That alone would probably not deter a guy who's truly interested, many women don't know they should offer an alternative, so I don't think that was it.

2. What's more likely is how your text came across. You admit you were turned off, so if your text reflected that and was short and cold, then yeah, he got the message, hence the reason he hasn't texted or asked you out again. My mom taught me something years ago -- it's not what you say, but how you say it.

3. He's a "player" (for lack of a better word) and has simply moved on to the next girl.

It's been a week so not much you can do unless you're feeling really bold and shoot him a text, something light suggesting coffee or something super casual.

I did that with a guy a couple of years back; I had broken up with him earlier in the year and wanted to give it another shot months later so I knew I had to be the one to make the move.

So I asked him for drinks and he kicked it up to dinner and we dated for around 3 months.

Hmm. I don't think you understand how being asked out on a date works. Dating is how you learn about someone. For example, a salesman comes into an office and sees an attractive secretary. He asks her out. She says yes. He goes to his appointment and tells her he'll pick her up Friday afternoon when he leaves. That's how it works.

So you turned him down. He then goes on to the next attractive girl he sees. Simple as that. No, he's not going to call you, because it looks like he's desperate. Next time, if the guy seems normal and nice, say yes and go out on a date.

Wait I’m confused did he say “Never text me again?” Or was it that he never texted you again. Sorry I’m a little dense.

I think you saying you have to work and not offering an alternative to seeing each other. He took it at face value and left.

You can text him again but he’s probably moved onto the next girl.

Wait I’m confused did he say “Never text me again?” Or was it that he never texted you again. Sorry I’m a little dense.

 

I think you saying you have to work and not offering an alternative to seeing each other. He took it at face value and left.

 

You can text him again but he’s probably moved onto the next girl.

The way she worded it, that is a actually a good question!

However, and jmo, but highly doubtful her turning him down after one quick meet would have garnered such an extreme reaction, but you never know!

I think she meant he has never texted her again, I could be wrong.

Yes guys, he never txt me again sorry! About that !

He asked you out. You turned him down. He doesn't need to be a player to have the ounce of self-respect it takes to appeal to other women at that point.

I also don't know where you're getting this idea he was so forward. You two met, had a brief chit-chat, he asked for your number and then asked you on a date. That's about as natural as it gets. It's one thing if he invited you to his place for some pizza and beer right off the bat. But you seemed to have assumed the worst for little-to-no reason.

I mean, do what you like. You could probably send him a text and ask him out and he'd agree. But if this is your level of cynicism based on so little, I can't imagine it will get any better two, three, four dates from now should you ever get so far with him.

He asked you out. You turned him down. He doesn't need to be a player to have the ounce of self-respect it takes to appeal to other women at that point.

 

I also don't know where you're getting this idea he was so forward. You two met, had a brief chit-chat, he asked for your number and then asked you on a date. That's about as natural as it gets. It's one thing if he invited you to his place for some pizza and beer right off the bat. But you seemed to have assumed the worst for little-to-no reason.

 

I mean, do what you like. You could probably send him a text and ask him out and he'd agree. But if this is your level of cynicism based on so little, I can't imagine it will get any better two, three, four dates from now should you ever get so far with him.

I saw things the exact same.

I’m going to assume you’re very young and maybe still unsure of yourself. What this guy did was quite normal he met you asked for your number then asked you out, the fact that you immediately thought negative and expected him to, for lack of better words, dance around for you a bit shows you also probably thought you had the upper hand. Crazy thing is, the second he stopped responding, that confidence was shook and you forgot you were turned off and now you ‘really like him’ but apparently not enough to accept him asking you out on a date...

I’m sorry for being blunt but you have to get this in control. Say what you mean, mean what you say, work on learning who you are what you’re looking for and what you like and stand by it and go forward confidently. At the end of the day learn to stand by your decisions and know the men worth being with aren’t going to be down with playing games.

He asked you out. You turned him down. He doesn't need to be a player to have the ounce of self-respect it takes to appeal to other women at that point.

 

I also don't know where you're getting this idea he was so forward. You two met, had a brief chit-chat, he asked for your number and then asked you on a date. That's about as natural as it gets. It's one thing if he invited you to his place for some pizza and beer right off the bat. But you seemed to have assumed the worst for little-to-no reason.

 

I mean, do what you like. You could probably send him a text and ask him out and he'd agree. But if this is your level of cynicism based on so little, I can't imagine it will get any better two, three, four dates from now should you ever get so far with him.

Was basically writing the same thing.

He asked you out. You said no, gave no hint at interest in another night, another hang.

If I was him, I'd take the lick, dust off, move on, message received.

Believe it or not, there 'are' some women that simply don't know they're supposed to offer an alternative (when interested).

You'd think its common sense, but I recently met a group of women while out one night (20 something's) that were clueless about this.

In fact my gf (subject of my other thread) was busy the first time her now-ex asked her out and offered no alternative -- claimed she didn't know she should have. Anyway, he did ask her out again a few days later and they dated for three months.

With OP's guy, she said she was working which was a lie, but he didn't know that, could have been legit. I mean, she had a life before meeting him! Lol

But yeah something about OP's text left him thinking she wasn't interested, maybe her tone or something, who knows.

OP, what did your text turning him down say?

What did I do wrong! Is he a player! Guys please help I really liked him, should I txt him ??

But if I do I will look needy and I don’t want him to think that ! What should I do it’s been a week already.

Just to piggy back off of everyone, yea you turned him down. I don't think that was your intent... Honestly I think your intent was playing hard to get but that's not relevant. What's relevant is that you may need some time to work on yourself... You seem to jump in to the worse scenarios/reasonings behind everything,

I would also suggest that you take this as a lesson. Next time if you're feeling the electricity and butterflies with a man, don't turn him down when he ask you out! Like J-Man said, it's not like he asked you to his place.

Was basically writing the same thing.

 

He asked you out. You said no, gave no hint at interest in another night, another hang.

 

If I was him, I'd take the lick, dust off, move on, message received.

As everyone else has been saying. Perhaps he was on a burst of confidence and your declination and lack of resuggestion shook his confidence and he shrugged and moved on to the next number. He might also have had several girl's numbers, but that does not necessarily make him a player. In the world of love being a numbers game, if you get shot down by one, even if you liked her, then try the next, she might be more interested.

Going forward, I don't see any issue with sending this guy a message. 'Hey, you still around? I got a free evening coming up and could use a drink!' Or whatever. If a date comes out of it, then good. If, on that date he puts the moves on you, then shut him down and leave it at that.

I would suggest not labelling someone until they show their true colours.

Where did you meet? Work? A club/bar? He got your number, asked you out, you turned him down and he gracefully said ok, fine. Why would he bother texting again after a rejection? You can ask him out but if you want it to go somewhere try not to be this flaky.

I meet this very cute guy and I really liked him. my best friend came by and she told him. one hour later he txt me hi beautiful can I take u on a date Friday. he said ok no problem have a good night.

I'm just lost on your behavior. Games? Playing hard to get? You met this guy in person, chatted a little, felt instant attraction towards him, and felt that he felt the same. He asked you out and that's just oh, so forward? Goodness, this is what dating is, and how else is he going to get to know you better? Dating a about spending time together and getting to know each other, not lobbing texts, and this guy wasn't going to lose any momentum and beat around the bush for weeks on end. The reality is, you probably would have had the opportunity to exchange a few texts and possibly even a call or two during the time between his asking you out on the date, and the actual date. If you're this skittish, I don't know that you're ready for dating and relationships. You also need to be able express your desires, rather than expecting men to know your arbitrary rules, and this could have been done by either expressing you'd rather text first or pushing back the date to another day to allow more in between time. I don't know if the guy would have continued entertaining talking with you if you want weeks of texting first, but this is your choice and you may lose a few along the way who aren't interested in such things, which could be for the best, as you weed out men who don't share your values, or you could be shooting yourself in the foot.

The fact your friend announced that you're single and you gave up your number to him when he asked after this quip, and then you turned him down quickly when he asked you out, could have made him think that your friend put you on the spot, and you were not interested in seeing him, so once removed from the face-to-face interaction, you could more easily shut him down when he asked you out. Hint taken.

If you like this guy enough, send a text and ask if he's still interested in meeting, and it wouldn't hurt to have an idea in mind on a nice place to grab a drink or an event, but I think you're doing yourself a disservice if you refuse to take any chances because you're afraid of looking desperate or needy. Showing interest in someone isn't desperate or needy. Whining that they don't text you all day, every day, and it took 10.5 minutes to return a text is needy. Expressing an interest is not needy. Of course you didn't think this guy was needy when he asked you out, you just went straight into the notion that he's a pig and a player. You're not going to have an easy time if you dance around these games. Figure out what you want and give a guy a chance before you determine his nature. I'm going to give you a hint: All guys want sex. It doesn't mean they're animals, but it does mean that you have to have the ability to set boundaries for yourself and you stick with them. The players will move on, but you'll never know he's a player (or your one and only) if you can't go out on a single date because OMG, it's too forward when he asks you.

You don't look needy if neither of you has talked since his "never txt me again" remark. He sounds dramatic by saying that. I think you should text and say "how about that raincheck" and if he ignores you, just move on.

I understood he didn't text her again and not that he said "don't text me again".

Of course he didn't text you again - you'd just given him the brush-off! There was absolutely nothing wrong with what he did - he thought you were attractive, you gave him your phone number, he asked you on a date to get to know you better. That's how it works! You told him you had to work on that particular day without suggesting another time, and he took it that you weren't interested and your friend had dropped you in it. It would have been a bit desperate if he'd carried on chasing you, and certainly doesn't mean he is a player or anything else undesirable!

There's nothing wrong with people being straightforward; in fact, it saves all sorts of heartache and misunderstanding and is far preferable to playing games.

If you want to salvage this situation, you've got nothing to lose by sending him a txt to say you're sorry you weren't able to make the last date he suggested, but you'd still like to meet up - then suggest a couple of times when you could. He may not respond, of course, but then you're back in the situation you're in anyway. As I say, you've nothing to lose.

Learn from this, though.

* Straightforward people are much easier to deal with than people who play games.

* Don't say 'No' when you'd rather say 'Yes'.

* Sending a txt after a week's silence does not sound desperate.

* Be true to yourself, and don't worry about what other people might think. If they judge you negatively for being open and warm, they are not good people to be around.

* If a guy is really into you, he'll make it clear. That's nothing to be afraid of.

Good luck!

He asked you out, you shut him out, and he’s moving on. I would do the same thing. There is nothing wrong with what he did; he found you attractive, asked you out, and you rejected him. He’s probably not going to text or call you, I know if I were him I wouldn’t either. If you really want him, you should probably reach out to him. Better do it quick though because if he is as attractive as you say he is, he’ll find another woman.

Believe it or not, there 'are' some women that simply don't know they're supposed to offer an alternative (when interested).

 

You'd think its common sense, but I recently met a group of women while out one night (20 something's) that were clueless about this.

I mean, I get this. I don't want to sound judgmental—or, ugh, like an old-timer—but a lot of 20something culture today seems to revolve around pokey little games instead of just being straightforward.

As a result, a statement like "Hey, you seem interesting—want to go out?" creates some kind of combustion, but a few weeks of texting, social media DMing, meme sharing, and photo sharing—i.e. the stuff I generally think of as happening once you're in a relationship—is what passes for courtship?

All interesting to analyze, I suppose, but as this story shows: maybe not actually fun. Maybe, you know, more isolating than anything else?

Oh my goodness...isn't that the reason why you gave him your number??? asking a lady out on a date...it's that what men do???? Here's a tip girl...you have your conversation on your date not for two weeks texting back and forth. You blew it and lost an opportunity to date a cute guy....and over what??? Tip: a guy that takes the lead is your best bet for a BF indeed. To add it wasn't like he was asking you if you wanted to sleep with him...it just a date, geeezzz louis.

I mean, I get this. I don't want to sound judgmental—or, ugh, like an old-timer—but a lot of 20something culture today seems to revolve around pokey little games instead of just being straightforward.

 

As a result, a statement like "Hey, you seem interesting—want to go out?" creates some kind of combustion, but a few weeks of texting, social media DMing, meme sharing, and photo sharing—i.e. the stuff I generally think of as happening once you're in a relationship—is what passes for courtship?

 

All interesting to analyze, I suppose, but as this story shows: maybe not actually fun. Maybe, you know, more isolating than anything else?

This seems OK if you are 16 years old but it's adult time now. Men ask girl out on date, girl says yes, they have a date, date goes well, text back and forth between dates, go out again. Not so hard really...and plus she already knew of/seen him, it wasn't some random stranger.