I can’t let go of the past and don’t know what to do

Hi,

So it all began two years ago when this guy came to my college.We wouldnt really talk nor hang out for 6 months. He was then interessted in another classmate of ours who he would flirt to. And she was very keen too but for some reason my friend would talk to him and Tell him that I would be better. But he would have eyes only for the other girl and would pay me no mind. But he wouldnt go through with his interest either. So my friend set up a Meeting where the three of us would study at my place and he decided to stay so we talked alot. The next to days at school he would still talk to the other girl even asking her out but she was kind of reserved. When some classmates decided to meet up for a gather up we both showed up and he invited me to the movies so we went and from that point on he would Text me asking when to meet up again. So we met up and we kissed and slept with each other. He wanted to be with me right away and I was unsure. When I would ask him why he was so fixated on the other girl he would Tell me that he had a crush on her from day one and that it was her Long Black hair and pale skin that reminded him of snow white and that he thought she was the prettiest girl with the best butt he ever saw when in reality she has a buttface but nevermind. Anyway it makes me insecure because I’m not his Type at all and Look so different from her and the fact that he wouldnt even consider me at that time. Also he didnt grow through because shes much younger by 11 years( he was 30 and she was 19) but he told my friend that he still would prefer a relationship with her before. He still looks at her and when my friend would Tell him that shes not all that he would still defend her. This Now two years ago and he claims that he loves me but this is still Heavy on my mind. And I feel like she would have been better for him. And even though I should be happy I can’t. I feel awful and I cant let it Go to a point where its hindering me to enjoy... please I need some advice and I hope that you would understand...i feel like second choice

Well sorry to hear that and my apologies to be straightforward but if you feel like second choice it is because you are, at least for what you are writting.

I feel that if your "boyfriend" would have the opportunity to be with the other girl, he will probably leave you.

That being said, regarding what you should do, it is all down to personal choice in the end and you have to balance the pros and cons of the situation.

As for me, If I were in your shoes I would not have mess with the guy in the first place and I would leave him in a heartbeat but I'm used to being alone and I don't care that much of being happy and all. Therefore, even if it means being a ing sad mess, I would rather be that than being a fuc... leftover. I have never beg for anything in my life and will not put a knee on the floor for attention and company.

But that's me, if you are kind of happy with the situation and enjoy your relation as such or if that relation is more rewarding than being alone cause you are more attach to your boyfriend that your pride then by all means stay with the guy.

I don't think we can be that much of an help, we can say to you what we would do in your situation but that is pretty much it, the rest is up to you according to the pros/cons of staying with him or leaving him.

Good luck and wish you well.

Sorry to hear this. It would be best to stop dating any guy who is hung up on someone. You can find much better guys who treat you a lot better than this.

we met up and we kissed and slept with each other. When I would ask him why he was so fixated on the other girl he would Tell me that he had a crush on her from day one

So he was 30 with a crush on a 19 year old?

May I ask how old you are OPer?