Worst news possible

Hey guys recently came across this blog and i thought i could get some advice and use it to vent. Until two weeks ago I was in a very long term relationship of 7 years. This girl who i will call M and I started liking each other in 10 grade of high school but nothing really came of it until one year later in grade 11. We had, had a falling of between us during the summer and when we came back to school in September things were pretty tense and awkward between us. One day in November we had large event in our school. During the event she kept on insisting on coming over for the night even though we both knew we weren't allowed to. I said no and no and no but eventually she convinced me to come over. When she came over we had sex that night it was safe to say i was both our fist time. It was awkward but nice and cute. She left the Saturday morning at 8 am before my parents were up. The Wednesday of the following week she skipped her after school activities to go eat sushi with me. I we ate had fun and before we knew it she was late and her parents were calling her. Her house was nearby so i walked to her home. little did i know what was gonna happen next. The next morning she told me that her dad had seen her phone and had found out we had sex. It where i was living at the time was really religious and i was going to a very religious school so all this was quite taboo. So her dad took for phone and told us we couldn't see each other. So we continued to see each other. She would sneak out of her house at night and sneak into mine. However, we didn't really receive the best sex ed in school. I got the big A. No, not Anal but Abstinence :).

It safe to say it was a disaster waiting to happen. So she found she was pregnant with my baby and she asked me what to do. We decided to tell out parents about it. Her parents made her abort the baby which was pretty sad, but it was very early 1 month at most. It was a tough decision but it had to be made for the good of both people involved. It was safe to say her parents were not very fond of me and this will play out later in the story. We ended 11 grade very well but for 12 grade i was offered the chance to go abroad for school to get a chance to get into a good university. I did not want to go but my parents forced me to go anyway. We decided to go long distance. It was hard. I cheated, She cheated i mean it was a show. All this lead to her leaving me for another guy in her last year of school and my first year of university. i had a lot of resentment against her for some reason i was totally jealous and hated of thinking of her with another guy. Also it really bothered me to see her try so much to be with him. Told her parents, always went out. So i went back home to see her and i managed to get her back. i left all that behind and we said blank slate for both us I thought that when she moved away she would stop making me her dirty little secret but it didn't. She didn't tell anybody about me (especially not her parents) and asked my pls not to say anything either so i didnt and kept it to myself. I didnt tell my closest friends only my parents knew.

. She lived 5 hours away with her uncle. And we would see each other twice every 6 months or so. I didn't have money for the trips and hotel (couldn't not stay at her uncles). She promised me that everything would be fine in the end that i just had to give her parents time. So i waited. Things were going awesome texting all day face time all night even fell asleep with the call on so many times. When she got into school she would call me all the time to check her homework. She would call me first to help her. I loved it for a while but then i began to fell used. Nothing was ever happening on her side in terms of committing. I always had to go see her on the low ( when her aunt and uncle left town). or had to drive long hours for one day just to see her in a neutral place and then go back home. And it just seemed like she was postponing telling anybody. It went on like this for a while long distance, texting, face-time, seeing each other sporadically. On her birthday valentines day and Christmas she would always receive a gift from me. usually some nice cloths or jewelry with a nice hand written note. I would always asked her to come or to move in with me and she would always say excuses like: im not financially independent yet. I though it was reasonable. So i helped her get a job sent her my CV and she changed the name contact info tailored it to her and found a job quickly. She came to see me for once and we had the best time of our lives. It really pissed me off one night that we were out waking around town. Her father called her and she ran to the nearest bathroom to answer. I waited for like an hour. She just came out and apologized and told me how sorry she was so i was like okay whatever. Then my personal life took a huge hit. Around September last year My brother had a very bad breakup. He began drinking. Like he began to drink ALOT. he basically would come drunk every day. Or the police would have to come and ditch him at my door. Sometimes i had to go get him out of the bars and try to fight my way out with him or being scolded and insulted by bartenders and bar goers. It really broke my heart.I would text her this and she would answer concerned but as time raged on she seemed so uninterested. Saying things like "tell him not too". All this stress was building up and i began to smoke a lot of weed around last December. When i mean alot i mean alot. Like wake and bake type of stoner. All the weed always made me sleep all afternoon (if i was free). It was safe to say that texting was slow and cold. Facetime was non existent. It was like that for a while. until around January when she started saying things are not like before. and suggested we should just be friends. We talked about it and she ended up not saying anything after. We wouldn't talk for a week but i would always text her. I would never let more than week pass without texting her so things wouldn't die out. I had my suspicions about her cheating but i didn't think much of it because everything seemed fine. Plus she would always reassure me with i love you, i care, dont worry. I would asked her things like so are we still together and she would reply IDK. So i would insist and in the end it would always texting just like we always had. This spring she graduated her program and her parents were coming to see her graduate. They were also gonna go on a family trip. She explicitly told me not to text because she didn't want trouble with her parents. So i respected her request and would text her nice things like "i hope you had a wonderful day" or " what exiting things did you do today?". This august i invited her to a baseball game and she was acting so weird.Also after the baseball game she would talk to me more and she even face time me to watch a movie together. During the face time we had a blast a usual. But this time towards the end she said "you can always make me smile when things are bad". So i thought time i would be romantic and clever and told her" You know what i love so much about you? I love how unpredictable you are. I never know whats gonna happen next. You just make me feel so alive." She smiled and told me how cute i was And then asked me for money. 100 dolars she wanted from me.

All this leads me to last week when i just received the craziest news. She called me one night and told me she was 6 months pregnant for another guy. I was broken didn't know what to say at the time and i didn't want to make a scene. So just hung up and waited 3 days to compose myself and call again. I called her and she answers. I heard weird noises and asked her where are you. She responded 'in the apartment'. This was weird because she was supposed to live in her uncles house and now she was in an apartment. where did this come from? I told her that if she could please call me when her boy toy wasn't there that the least thing i deserved were some answers. Safe to say when i hung up i was devastated. I honestly didn't think she would call but she called me the next day at around 4. I asked her when this had began and she said in January. But when i told her why didnt you tell me she kept saying' i knew what i was doing was wrong didnt want to hurt you and didnt want to deal with the reaction'. Then i asked her why did she go with me to the baseball game she said " i wasnt in the right state of mind". The i asked about the face time and the texting she said " i was just being nice and answering". I was getting very heated at this moment and asked her what about me? She responded by saying that she had broken up worth me in January (TOTAL LIE) and that she wanted just to be friends. She had told me that she wanted to be friend but never in a clear concise manner like "hey i think we should be friends, it not working out and i am moving on". She always said " i think we should just stay friends, you so good and handsome that you could get a girl 10 times better than me". At which point i would try to assure her how much i loved her and she was the only thing in my life ( Which is true i have gone so much time without sex but i would save myself only for her). i asked about the ball game ans she said that she went there as as friend even though i kissed her before i dropped her of. She even talked about how awkward it was. I didnt feel on drop of awkwardness. Maybe a little chilly at first. She literally melts me with her looks and intimidates me. So i had to get my confidence up to act. Also, its worth mentioning that she was 4 months pregnant at this time. I was totally staggered. I kept on getting more angry and angry and said "you she how you get this is why i didnt tell you". WHATTTTT? how did she expect me to react throwing her a baby shower? I dont know what she expected of me. When i asked why she dint protect herself she said i hate using condoms. So i said okaaayyyyyy there is like 30 types of contraception, take the pill. She said i didnt want to. Witch sounds fishy to me. So when i presses she said "it just happend". WHAT????? She ended the call by saying how happy she was with her new guy and how ready she was to start a family with him (things we talked about all the time). She even told how exited she was for her baby boy (Why tell me the sex of the baby????) I was just devastated. I told her she was making a huge mistake and that she would regret in the future . she hung up by saying respect my new life and my new family. Then she texted me a bit and i asked her to block me of everything. She insisted on how immature i was by asking her to do that but in the end she did. So now left with my in my hand. No one to tell. No friends. No prospects on girls. No answers. And a Goddamned ich in my hands to call her. Still am need help answering some questions in my head Why did she keep on texting me?Why did she go to the game? how could she not known how i felt? Im scared she will text me again in the future! I have a week heart and i hate to see people struggling. do you think she will? or was she just squishing the little juice left to get the hell out of dodge? Is she over me? Can anybody make sense of this situation?

Good lord. Break this thing into paragraphs! Consider your readers.

Solomeo....Please break this down using paragraphs, it's impossible to read a wall of text. You only have a 30 min window to work with.

That's too much for my eyes...I can't read it.

I already responded to this post but somehow my response isn't on it? And it's not in my history, so I don't quite get what happened.... but essentially, I said that you deserved better than this woman who would be so careless with your feelings and your health. While I don't think one should automatically expect a woman to go on the pill (it shifts their entire endocrine system and some women have bad side effects), it's still completely irresponsible of her to not have worked out some form of birth control with her partner(s). This is not the kind of decision-making I would want in a partner. If you were still sleeping with her without protection, please get yourself checked out.

Never let someone keep you a secret. That's so high school. Nothing good ever comes from it within the power dynamics of a relationship and it basically gives people free license to cheat without much of the fall out. Please consider finding a good therapist who can help you work out why you stuck around in such an unsatisfying situation, as this relationship was clearly not giving you much back for several years.

Post here when you have a weak moment. Keep her blocked on social media if she unblocks you. I wouldn't be surprised if she tries to hit you up again in the future. Don't hold out hope that she will magically transform into someone compatible with you. She sounds very much like a have your cake and eat it, too, type of person.

Yeah, well, I guess your religious schools didn't teach you about maturity or abstinence. You both were immature and your girlfriend in particular did whatever she liked. She has probably slept with other guys as well. I say you dodged a bullet here. She's a cheater and there's really nothing to understand. She can't be trusted. When she has an itch, she scratches it, no matter what the consequences. You need to block her on everything and never contact her again. She is trouble. Pull yourself together, try to forget about her, and get on with your life.