What to do with girl from class.

I had been talking to a girl from a class I am taking for ~6 weeks. In class we are very flirty. I added her on facebook and asked her out for lunch and she said she was busy but another time we should go. A few days later she messages me out of the blue if there was class, it was in the schedule and the professor emailed us saying there was not class, I figured it was an excuse to talk me to so I asked her out and she said yes. The day before the date she reschedules for the next day I said sure. Again the day before she texts me but this time says she can't go.

At this point I think it's over, but the next time I see her in class she asks me out for dinner, she specifically mentioned it would be from 5:30-8. The date comes and I am waiting she is 15 minutes late and in sweats and a tshirt, she said she got locked out of her room and is in her roommates clothes and that we could go back there and wait for it to get fixed then we would go out. So I open and close the car door for her and drive to her apartment and we wait ~70 minutes for the problem to get fixed and her to get ready. During this time I am talking to her and her roommate and think things are going well. We got to talking about different types of guys, the sporty jock type and the nerdy type. So I said I guess I know your type implying she likes sporty guys because I play several sports and lift. The roommate is joking around with me how one of her previous roomates was having loud sex all the time and I jokingly said I would be respectful and play music. Her roommate is joking with me saying the math guys are generally really bad with women and asked me if I was good with girls. I said I guess we will find out. Once it’s fixed she gets a call from friend from out of town who she is going out with later that night, when I heard on her phone it was a guy. We start walking towards my car she says does not have time to go out and I say I can drop you off at your parents house, her parents house is near myn and the dinner place and I was going to drop her off there anyways.

On the car ride to her parents house it is a 40 minute drive. We talk and get on the subject of what type of men and women we go for. I jokingly asked if she was straight and she asked me back. We then talk about college and hook up culture. She said she is awkward and has social anxiety. She said she is bad at reading signals from guys, and shuts down guys without even knowing it. I said you didn’t shut me down. She also mentioned that she has only had one boyfriend. She said thinks kissing not in a relationship is not something she is ok with, so I said thanks for telling me. I jokingly put my handout and said I wanted to hold her hand, and she recoiled away. After that I asked if I could hug her, and she asked me if this was a date. I said yes it was, and she said she didn’t know it was. She said she takes months of knowing someone before she would date them. And that she is busy with ROTC/school. She then says we should continue to be friends in class and even go out and do things together.

She told me a story how she was hanging out for foreign exchange students from Denmark. How good looking the guys were. And how they were saying american girls are easy and how hard it is to get a girl in Denmark. She tried asking me what my type of girl I go for is and I said I plead the fifth. I asked her how often she gets asked out by guys and she said once a month or every 2 weeks. A lot of the guys are cubby/not her type. She likes a guy but won’t ask him out. She mentioned she felt pressure to only date white guys and she finds black/Latino guys cute. I drop her off and leave.

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She didn't text the next time I saw her in class she did not make eye contact or talk to me. The next week in class she was really nice. We got split up into different groups and midway through she ignored the TA and joined my group. She went to another building and printed a copy of a lab for me. And when I left the classroom she caught up to me and started talking to me. I am really confused because she is giving me a ton of signs she is into me but the lets just be friends and not holding my hand really surprised me. This week is the last time I the class meets, I don’t know if I should ask her to have a redo first date, or let her go.

Well, she seems a little inconsiderate, in my opinion. She has cancelled 3+ dates with you, kept you waiting around, and continues to give you mixed signals about whether she is really interested in you or not. I would let her go, because it doesn't seem like she knows what she wants. Sure, it could be because she is inexperienced, but it could also be because she enjoys the attention you give her and doesn't want it to go any farther than that. You'd be better off finding a girl who knows that she likes you and actually shows up to your dates.

Well, I guess she told you what she wants. She wants you to be a friend to her for a few months before she'll even consider a relationship. That would have answered your question about trying to hold her hand or kiss her.

She seems flighty and unorganized. If you want to continue to try to date her, you should keep in touch with her and think of any reasons to meet up with her over the next few months. But I wouldn't blame you for moving on and trying to find a girl who requires less attention.

Well, she seems a little inconsiderate, in my opinion. She has cancelled 3+ dates with you, kept you waiting around, and continues to give you mixed signals about whether she is really interested in you or not. I would let her go, because it doesn't seem like she knows what she wants. Sure, it could be because she is inexperienced, but it could also be because she enjoys the attention you give her and doesn't want it to go any farther than that. You'd be better off finding a girl who knows that she likes you and actually shows up to your dates.

It's weird because I don't know why my attention is so valuable. Like i'm an average guy who is somewhat funny and easy to talk to, like I don't have super interesting stories or something like that. I fall for girls really quickly, for her I planned in my head a bunch of fun date ideas that I wanted to do with her. I need to find someone who is as into me as I am into them and not settle for being a second or third option.

Yes. Mixed signals means they feed you a crumb here and there because they like the ego boost that you have a crush on them, but they are just not that into you. A girl who is into you will make it crystal clear. Hold out for her. Anyone else is a waste of time.

It's not so much that your attention is special. It's likely that she has other guys feeding her ego in a similar way. My guess is, she enjoys the attention but knows she doesn't want to seriously date you. I'd be weary of continuing. If you do, it is very likely she will suddenly find a boyfriend and it will hurt pretty bad if you keep your hopes up.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you're in the friendzone. Stop giving her rides, waiting around for her and listening to her musings about guys. She's dating other guys and using you. Cut her out and start dating other women.