Unpleasant childhood memory

As many know I have opened my own home daycare. In my care is a before and after school child of the age of 5.

At about 5 years old I had a very traumatic experience. My dad tried to run my mom over with a car that I was a passenger in. I remember screaming and crying and begging him not to hurt my mom. I remember holding my brother down on the floor of the car so he could not see. He was 2 at the time. I remember my dad screaming at me to “ shut up stupid.”

This memory has come to me a few times this week. I am assuming because I am caring for a child that age.

Just had to get it out of my head and onto “ paper” so to speak. A reminder to people that the affects of abuse of children doesn’t go away and affects all aspects of your life even if you are a productive and functioning person.

I'm sorry this happened to you, Seraphim. :( I hope you're doing okay.

My mother was verbally and physically abusive, she hit first and didnt ask questions later. She used a wooden spoon to whack me - a lot. Stuff like that stays in your memory, and to this day I have no wooden spoons in my house. One time I won a draw and got a huge stainless steel mixing bowl with a really big wooden paddle/spoon. I kept the bowl and threw the wooden spoon in the woodstove. So I can understand the memory you are having and how it affects you.

Sadly, those triggers never seem to leave us no matter how much work we do around it... I guess the work simply helps us process and move through the feelings in an appropriate way.

Thanks. I think sometimes parents don’t realize or care about the damage they cause.

Seraphim, I'm so sorry to hear you went through something so traumatic. It hurts me to read what your dad did to you at such a fragile age.

Thanks. Sadly, my dad doesn’t care and probably doesn’t even remember the incident. The woman after my mom got worse. He threw her down a flight of stairs and broke her leg.

Look into EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I use this method to deal with trauma and it does seem to diminish the visceral reaction to awful memories.

Look into EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I use this method to deal with trauma and it does seem to diminish the visceral reaction to awful memories.

I have done EMDR which has been very effective. I don’t usually have visceral reactions anymore. I notice sometimes things come to mind.

My goodness I am so sorry you went through that. I was abused as a child and it will forever be imbedded in my mind. But that doesn’t have to ever be who you are! There is healing. I know a book that helped me a lot was Mending the Soul by Steven Tracy. It helped me understand so much. I am praying for you and the kiddos you are helping.

My goodness I am so sorry you went through that. I was abused as a child and it will forever be imbedded in my mind. But that doesn’t have to ever be who you are! There is healing. I know a book that helped me a lot was Mending the Soul by Steven Tracy. It helped me understand so much. I am praying for you and the kiddos you are helping.

Thank-you, yes, I understand. I hope you feel better too. :)

Oh my gosh, what a terrible memory. I'm so sorry you had to endure that, and at such a young age. Took strength for you to be able to type that out, I'm sure.

Oh my gosh, what a terrible memory. I'm so sorry you had to endure that, and at such a young age. Took strength for you to be able to type that out, I'm sure.

It is an abuse memory I won’t forget for sure. I think I have mentioned it on here. But I have a hard time talking about these things with friends because it makes them cry . And I have a hard time talking to my mom about it because it makes her feel guilty . I remember talking about somethings with a friend and her daughter in a restaurant and her daughter just burst into tears . Her daughter is an adult by the way she’s 43 . She said she was just so horrified for me she just burst into tears . I think things are coming to the forefront again because I have change in my life again . Change precipitates a lot of anxiety issues and memories . Even if it’s a change that is going to do me a lot of good .