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Thread: Why do men from your PAST come back into your PRESENT!? Wth

  1. #1
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    Why do men from your PAST come back into your PRESENT!? Wth

    Guys, I had the STRANGEST week of my life. Three men from my past have come back into my life.
    A little back story, I just moved back to new york after spending a year in Italy for a program with my school,
    I have now graduates and just this month/week men that i use to be intrested in have all somehow popped up again in my life.

    Last week, a very interesting older man I use to date (not for too long of time) messaged me that when he comes
    back from europe he's interested in meeting up again. This is (mind you) after years of not communicating. Nothing
    bad happened between us, we just truly drifted apart. He travels a lot due to his job and it's almost impossible for him to date anyone.

    Then today my ex's (this "ex" i call an ex because we had a fwb relationship for a year and never wanted to admit I was him girlfriend) bestfriend is flirting with me and asked me out for drinks.. Initially before I ever hooked up with his bestfriend, we were friends and he was always interested in me.
    and as i hop on the subway I see another old guy friend of mine I use to hookup with getting out of the train.
    I txtd him I saw him in the subway station and we just spoke over the phone catching up, it felt like how things use to be.
    I've always liked him and the reason I never took him seriously is because he didnt have his life together when we were... "having fun"
    but talking to him now he's got himself on track and he seems to be doing well! I'm very happy for him

    What I'm most confused about is what all this means? Why have I accidently manifested people from my past back into my life?
    Has anyone had similiar experiences to share? Or advice as to what I should do?
    1.Older guy I'm interested in meeting up with just to see where things left off
    2.In regards to my Ex's Bestfriend... I'm fully aware he's a hornball but he's also a great connection and a good friend in general
    so as long as it's a platonic comeback I dont mind.
    3. Subway guy just ended a serious relationship in which he believes this girl is his soulmate,
    if we link up could also be platonic but who knows. I've never stopped being attracted to him....

    Any advice would be much appreciated on who i should meet up with or if I shouldn't waste my time on any of them, etc.
    Are all people from your past necessarily bad? etc.

  2. #2
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    Well, I think it's mostly coincidental, but then again, with the time zone change and the colder weather, that might be driving these guys to nest up for the winter with someone warm and cozy.

    I would say that since you're free, you could meet up with all of them to see what's happening and whether anyone is interested in a relationship. Older guy will probably just pop in and out of your life and may eventually disappear. Then it's up to the two other guys. Let them take you out on dates and just be friendly. They may have broken up recent relationships. A lot of times when guys find themselves single, they start going through their old "little black book" to see who's available. The rest will be up to you.

  3. #3
    Gold Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Iíd call it a coincidence, one Iím quite familiar with. Live a flirty life, live long enough, and this is kind of what happens. The satellites, always in orbit.

    You sound quite free, quite curious. Me, Iíd meet up with all of them, because why not?

  4. #4
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    You didn't write anything in your post to suggest that any of these guys hurt you or that you hurt them. I wouldn't assume they are looking for anything more than they had with you the first time around, but that also doesn't sound like it bothers you. Go ahead and explore past options if it sits right in your gut. No harm, no foul.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Iíve been saying this an awful lot lately... this is only a problem if you make it one.

    Rummaging through your old laundry seems like a useless endevour but Iím sure the ego boost is nice so enjoy it for what it is keeping your feet planted, in other words it doesnít sound like any of them are your Prince Charming, but youíre single so whatís the harm?

  7. #6
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    Hmm...maybe a mutual friend or yourself told them you were back in town, or maybe your social media apps has you "checked in" in town and they "see" you :) There is no deep cosmic meaning

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are the one reaching out and reconnecting with "old friends" since your return, and that's fine. Did you post your return to NY on your social media? Are these men still friends/followers in your social media? The third guy you reached out to so he didn't "come back from the past" and he's on the rebound.

    All three don't sound like viable candidates for dating, but it sounds like you are looking for casual hookups with people you know and that's fine also. Have you considered setting up a good profile and pics on some dating apps with your updated location?
    Originally Posted by electricorchid
    -I just moved back to new york after spending a year in Italy.
    -my ex's bestfriend is flirting with me and asked me out for drinks.. we were friends and he was always interested in me.
    -i hop on the subway I see another old guy friend of mine I use to hookup with getting out of the train. I txtd him

    1.Older guy I'm interested in meeting up with just to see where things left off
    2. I'm fully aware he's a hornball but he's also a great connection and a good friend in general
    3. Subway guy just ended a serious relationship in which he believes this girl is his soulmate,

  9. #8
    Gold Member maew's Avatar
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    If you want to assign a metaphysical property to it you could say the universe (angels, spirit helpers, what have you) brought these men back in your life to give you an opportunity to decide just want kind of relationship you want.... and through that, convey a message to you about what your next path in life should be.

    It doesn't mean that you are supposed to date any of them, nor does it mean any of them are "meant" for you or are your soul mates etc.

    I find that I often get such reminders (people popping up in my life) so that I can either affirm my decision or take the opportunity to change my mind if I so choose. Either way it's a way of making sure we are aware of whether we are aligned with our values and what we are looking for.

  10. #9
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    Usually heavens telling you you are ready to have someone in your life, and that you know what you want in life.

    I'd say meet up, have fun. You never know if their buddy you meet through them is the love of your life.

  11. #10
    Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    how men and women break up is different that's why.

    women linger and ponder and assess and go over it again and again until by the time they say "its over" - its' really been over for a while and it's the last step fro her. No doubt. It's over and she's gone. (this is why a lot of women tend to stay in relationships TOO long).
    men are the opposite. we tend to jump at the first sign of danger and then regret it later and realize maybe we coudl have worked a bit harder or longer on it to see it thru and give it more chances.

    this is a fundamental diffrence between men and women.


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