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Thread: Should women pursue men?

  1. #1

    Should women pursue men?

    Hello world, I am a ambitious, independent, dynamic, outgoing, extrovert Female who is single AF.

    Iíve dated a lot to know how to distinguish bad men.
    Last year I listed our 12 guys Iíve dated and I choice looks over personality. And it all went pretty bad...lol my fault..

    This year, some of my gifted psychic friends said to meet guys that are not so good looking but has a great personality & heart.

    So....I gave it try...and the dates would go really well, I was so intellectually attracted to them than physically attracted. We had a great intellectual stimulating conversation and I really liked him.

    All of the sudden I get ghosted by these men. And idk why?

    I want to pursue these men, but Iím scared.
    How should I pursue? What should I do?
    What should I say? Should a women pursue men?

    Let me know your thoughts

  2. #2
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ButterToast

    This year, some of my gifted psychic friends said to meet guys that are not so good looking but has a great personality & heart.

    So....I gave it try...and the dates would go really well, I was so intellectually attracted to them than physically attracted. We had a great intellectual stimulating conversation and I really liked him.

    All of the sudden I get ghosted by these men. And idk why?
    My best guess at the moment would be that men's initial attraction doesn't stem from "intellectually stimulating conversation."

    There needs to be that physical attraction and chemistry.

    Since that wasn't there, which you admit yourself, they simply weren't interested in pursuing further.

    I am not a man so that's just a guess!!

    Edit: Why can't you seek both? Physical attraction/chemistry AND intellectual compatibility? Those two things are not mutually-exclusive, they can and do exist within one person.

    Re your pursuing these men, when you've had a date(s) with a man and he "ghosts," let him stay ghosted. JMO on that.

  3. #3
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    What do you mean by "ghosted" here? Are they not contacting you, or are they not responding to your messages or phone calls?

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ButterToast
    I am a ambitious, independent, dynamic, outgoing, extrovert Female who is single AF.

    I want to pursue these men, but Iím scared.
    What is "AF" ?

    I don't see anything wrong with females pursuing men, but I don't think it's a good idea in pursuing men who have already ghosted you and/or lost interest. That would not look good at all, imo.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    No one, man or woman, should pursue someone who "ghosts" them or otherwise is obviously disinterested. There isn't a single man worth a damn out there who would genuinely be into a woman only to read her text and say, "Ugh, she's asking me out? I get that it's 2018 and all but geeeeewhizzzzzz... NEXT."

    But trying my best not to be too harsh, if you're the type to take advice from "psychic friends," there's a good chance the intellectual stimulation may not be going both ways on these dates. There are plenty of attractive and "intelligent" people out there in the world. It kinda says something about someone if they're actively pursuing one as though it's exclusive from the other.

    (PS - "AF" means "as f*ck.")

    ETA: I don't know what kind of intellectually stimulating conversation you're referring to specifically, but it's worth noting that a lot of people aren't terribly fond of philosophical or political diarrhea on a first date, even if they are topics they're well versed in. It's often best to keep the conversation a bit lighter when getting to know someone. They may well entertain the topics during the date, but once finished would rather pursue someone who can broach some topics that are a bit more fun.
    Last edited by j.man; 11-07-2018 at 10:21 PM.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ButterToast
    I want to pursue these men, but Iím scared.
    How should I pursue? What should I do?
    What should I say? Should a women pursue men?s
    Lots of people will tell you that it's fine for women to pursue men. But what I see on this board is that a lot of people are freaked out by it, and tell women that they are being 'needy' or 'clingy' when they pursue a guy. So, you can't win lol.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ButterToast

    Hello world, I am a ambitious, independent, dynamic, outgoing, extrovert Female who is single AF.
    Originally Posted by j.man

    ("AF" means "as f*ck.")
    So she's "single as f*ck"?

    I had no idea what this meant so looked it up and "single AF" refers to a woman who has not had sex (um, been laid) in awhile.

  9. #8
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    Okay so I really felt the need to write you because I'm also SINGLE A F lol, and we're very similiar in the fact that I too, unfortunately in my past focused on looks a lot.
    All the guys ive dates for the most part have had really great personalities as well, but theyve just had commitment issues. so to answer your title: Should women pursue men? I really think it's personally preference and It depends. I'm not a fan of going of to a guy and saying hello, you have a great smile FIRST, I think what makes a man a MAN is making the first move on ME. So I give them the opportunity of confidence in doing so, since I'm trying to attract a man with confidence and no shame in pursuing me, I prefer for them to come to me. However, in your case why did you ghost them? Are you scared of being in something committed? or where you just not into any of these men? It just sounds like you werent into them, because when someones into somebody "ghosting" is not even a possibility in their mind. I think your focus shouldnt be so all over the place in looks and personality, because both exist in one person.. you need to start learning to rethink the way you've been thinking, and start manifesting and focusing on someone who you find attractive and has a interesting personality. Thats it! Set it in your mind, and focus on manifesting a balance of a man who is your perfect match and who is right for you.

  10. #9
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Hahaha in my day AF was Aunt Flow... lol

  11. #10
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by electricorchid

    However, in your case why did you ghost them?
    Granted I've been feeling off lately but fairly certain OP said that they ghosted her.

    And she doesn't know why.

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