I just need to rant!

Hello, so I don’t know to start this but I’m just going to do it. I’m currently eating at my table sobbing because I have never felt this lonely in my life. I feel like my bestfriends are acting so kind of distant with me and it hurts because they make me forget how alone I’m. I feel like maybe I’m the one that wants to back away because I’m scared to be let down from anybody. I feel worthless as a person and it sucks because the people I tell is y’all. As much as I try to keep myself busy i don’t got peace of mind not even in my sleep. I feel like what I been through really has taken a toll on me.

Well, I hope you're getting help or are at least speaking with someone. You're suffering basically from PTSD. You've been abused and you have to work towards your recovery. Don't let a man define you. You're better than that. You are the master of your own life. You can overcome this.

well if there is any consolation - you are not alone. All of us at some time or another hit rock bottom (or feel like it). I've hit it 2X in my lifetime (i'm about to turn 50).

if its any consolation - better days are out there and they will come. that's just life being life.

how do you not feel worthless and alone? well, for one thing you look within - not out into the world. realize that the reality of today is everybody is looking out for #1 - we have to. Therefore, nobody else is looking out for you or can be counted to 100% of the time EXCEPT YOU. This is not just YOU this is true for - it's true for ALL OF US. So how do you fix this? You look within.

Be your own best friend.

Be the person you can always rely upon to get yourself out of a hole. Trust that you can.

Instead of taking on the entire wall and world at once as one hug massive problem, break it down into smaller components and chip away at each component one at a time until the entire wall is conqueored. It's kind of like this:

"Can you move that mountain elsewhere?"

If you think of how to move the entire mountain all at once it's impossible.

But.. if you realize all a mountain is is a HUGE PIILE OF DIRT- and you k now you can easily move dirt. Then you can move mountains... It may take a while. but you can do it. Just do it one handful of dirt at a time.

This is how you change your entire life. Just change it one little bit at a time until it's completely changed. :)

Start by making a list of what's good that you can rely on in your life (that makes you happy) and then another list of what you can not rely on that makes you sad. You keep doing more and finding similar things on the good side, then remove all the things on the bad side.

Good luck. hit me up in PM if you'd like to discuss further in detail. I've come back from rock bottom 2X in my life as i said and life is wonderful and the best it's ever been for me ever now. (only took me 50 yrs to "move my mountain" completely)... told ya it takes time :)

Great advice richy.

Jasmin, you don’t have PTSD, you’re simply a young girl with low self esteem who wrapped her self worth into a boy. You aren’t the first, you won’t be the last, honestly many young relationships have a version of this type of dynamic.

Like richy said, now you have to find your inner strength, find out who you are, independently, what makes you who you are. You’re basing your existence on his, you existed before him and you will after him. You have to build yourself up. You have to learn proper coping mechanisms. I even said I think on your last post you use this forum as a venting platform and to cope but you don’t actually follow any of the advice, you simply drive by post until you hit another low. You have an unhealthy cycle going, eventually you gotta do something different.

What happened with your thoughts about moving? Did any of that happen or did you just keep doing the same thing? I’m not trying to be harsh, I just don’t see how you expect to feel any better when you aren’t making any changes.