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Thread: Girlfriend with mental health issues suddenly leaves!

  1. #1
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    Girlfriend with mental health issues suddenly leaves!

    Hi Everyone! I met my girlfriend 6 months ago. She was just out of hospital for mental health issues and liked my company. So I visited her regularly and a relationship blossomed. She progressed in her recovery, went back to college to study, she was staying over with me quite a lot also. Everything was bliss! We were madly in love (or so I thought!). She met my parents, friends and was bonding with my Mother. We even discussed moving in after Christmas. She has a son, I have a son and we mixed and the boys loved it! Last week we had a disagreement about money but we patched it up and she thought we were moving too fast and to slow down. I admit we got a little carried away. Her birthday was also last week and we had a lovely time! We agreed to slow down a little and on Monday night we went to the cinema for a date. Had a good time but became tearful, then we went home and we lay in bed in pyjamas. At this time she said she had no romantic feelings for me anymore and her mental health has deteriorated etc. I told her that if she was deciding to leave I wanted her to block me on social media and remove her belongings from my house. She slept on the sofa and when I got home from work the following day all her things were taken. We also had a holiday planned which she emailed me the details for! Itís just so sudden as she told my mum last week she loved me and wanted to marry me/help decorate for my sisters surprise birthday party! Iím completely lost! Should I give her time to come back? Say 2 weeks and if she doesnít approach me move on? Or reach out to her? Help! Weíre all gobsmacked sheís gone!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. How did you meet? What was the disagreement about? It sounds like she has the insight not only to realize she is in a fragile state but also that it was moving way too fast. Even talking about moving in. You are both single parents. She needs to focus on getting healthy and stable for her son, not whirlwind romances.

    It seems she warned you that things were going too fast for her. She most likely felt overwhelmed. She did what you told her to and took all her things from your house, when you threatened her with your ultimatum. Now leave her be. She has your contact info so wait until she reaches out.
    Originally Posted by BOo533842
    She was just out of hospital for mental health issues and liked my company. So I visited her regularly and a relationship blossomed.

    Last week we had a disagreement about money but we patched it up and she thought we were moving too fast and to slow down. I admit we got a little carried away.

    I told her that if she was deciding to leave I wanted her to block me on social media and remove her belongings from my house.when I got home from work the following day all her things were taken.

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    Thanks for your reply. We actually met 2 years ago and went on a series of dates but life got in the way for both f us. We reconnected after all that time. We both have to take responsibility for it moving quick. She had moved so much stuff into my place and made one of my spare rooms a study room! I borrowed money from her as I had an expensive car repair and a bit of financial bad luck with bills and couldnít pay her back as quick as she liked! We actually smoothed that over, agreed to move a bit slower but then she suddenly vanished! Said she had been feeling it for a while but she broke up with me while we were in pyjamas in bed! I admit I was hurt and told her to take me from social media and remove her things

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you paid her back?

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    Gold Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry about all this.

    Right now just take a big, deep breath. Seriously. Take a few.

    Things are very fragile right now and she is very fragile. What happens when we add weight to something fragile? It cracks. Moving fast, the money: too much weight, too soon. And now contact will just be weight, compounding those cracks, so give it some space to breathe.

    Time is on your side here, not your enemy.

    You feel awful about the social media stuff, I get it. But that's not going to be the dealbreaker here, the thing that eclipses the connection you guys have. Right now an hour will feel like a day, a day like a week, but that's just emotion playing games. So just allow for a little time and space to let the dust settle, and see what's what when it does.

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    Yes I did! Paid her back in full. With no issue.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Ok then just give her space until she's ready to reach out.
    Originally Posted by BOo533842
    Yes I did! Paid her back in full. With no issue.

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    I think that is probably the right thing to do. Although she did say that she doesnít love me anymore in the same way as I love her. That the spark for me was gone etc. She text me yesterday and said she felt like it a while despite bonding with my mother, sister, friends and so on! Although she seemed so smitten Up to the weekend before she dumped me. So Iím confused. She basically said goodbye in her message and to take care of myself. I didnít send any form of reply to her message though!

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    Well, I think this is par for the course when you're dealing with someone with mental issues. Strong emotions can actually trigger an event like this. Also medication levels can vary in someone's blood. Yeah, give her some time to think about things and let her settle down.

  11. #10
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    What kind of mental health issues does she suffer from, OP?

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