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Thread: Removing pictures

  1. #1
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    Removing pictures

    ll you can do is ask.

    I have asked him to remove pictures of us on social media. I told him that I do not want to be associated with him and would appreciate it if he removed my pictures. I do not want to become part of his collection.

    If someone told me to remove their pictures then I would do it. Pronto.

    He refuses. Well okay. Nothing I can do. My bad. Itís a petty thing, moving on.

    No harm in asking. I will deal with it and move on.

    My question; is there something wrong with a person who refuses to take down your pictures when you ask them to?

    Exerting some kind of control?


    Or should I just eat ice cream and forget about such a petty ĎSinfeld-esqí moment?

  2. #2
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    Ice cream and move on, no analysis. There is something wrong with that behavior -it's just not nice. I will tell you though I had a surprising interaction with a new friend. She took photos of our kids on a playdate. And texted it to me which was so nice. But then she posted it on her Facebook. The thing is, we don't post photos of our child on Facebook. We allow certain schools/camps to do so and without tagging him. So I asked her to take it down (she never asked me whether it was ok). She got her feathers ruffled a bit- asking how she should do that since she already posted a caption, etc and I said just remove the photos or replace, whatever. Then she "politely" implied by analogy that I was paranoid (she politely asked me why, I expressed safety and privacy concerns and my husband is not on Facebook and prefer his/our family's privacy and was careful not to judge her decision to post photos -it's her child, her choice -no judgment at all). She did take them down. I share this because I found her reaction really surprising. I would think someone who posted photos without asking my permission likely would give at least an acknowledgement not the "all my friends post photos of their kids " (which is different from posting a photo of someone else's child).

    Is there something wrong with her? No. I think people get far too caught up in "their" Facebook page and I bet your ex is an example of that.

  3. #3
    Gold Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Go with the ice cream. It knows all the things we don't.

    Social media is what it is: more poisonous than not, especially when it comes to relationships, but not going anywhere. Everyone's feeds are their own business, end of story.

    When a breakup is fresh, this all feels urgent, loaded with meaning; in time it just becomes silly. And, sure, it can be a bit of control, but make no mistake: asking someone to take down photos is exerting some kind of control too. So, yeah, there's that, you know?

    After my last relationship I removed most photos of my ex from Instagram, because I like Instagram a bit, used it frequently, and didn't really feel like seeing her. She, surprisingly, keeps loads of photos of me on there, despite still occasionally shooting me venomous messages that I've been ignoring for a year. That I remain prominent on her feed is...well, her business.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by Kerryalex
    My question; is there something wrong with a person who refuses to take down your pictures when you ask them to?
    I don't think there's anything "wrong" with a person who refuses to take down your pictures. He might be proud he dated you. He might still be in denial over you leaving him. He might even be emotionally abusing you by leaving them up. He might be showing that you have no control over him anymore. He might even be turning away potential girlfriends who will see them and think he's still hung up on you. He probably will realize this and take them down. But he doesn't have to do it just because you asked him to.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by DanZee
    I don't think there's anything "wrong" with a person who refuses to take down your pictures. He might be proud he dated you. He might still be in denial over you leaving him. He might even be emotionally abusing you by leaving them up. He might be showing that you have no control over him anymore. He might even be turning away potential girlfriends who will see them and think he's still hung up on you. He probably will realize this and take them down. But he doesn't have to do it just because you asked him to.
    I think it's rude to keep photos on social media of someone else once asked to remove them.

  7. #6
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    Lol. Okay. Thank you guys. Itís futile and immature of me.
    Ice cream it is. Chocolate cayenne. Chocolate for the fat and cayenne for the burn.
    ..
    I dated a pig.. whatyugointodoaboutit?

  8. #7
    Gold Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Perfect combo!

    Don't get me started on who I dated! Took a good minute, and plenty of ice cream, to find it all funny. You sound well on your way.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Lets hope you didn't send him any nudes! O.o

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Lets hope you didn't send him any nudes! O.o
    Hahahahaha. No.

  11. #10
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    I don't think it's "immature" that you made the request, if you didn't throw a fit when he denied you. I understand the desire to not have those photos on a public platform anymore. I was tempted to ask my ex to do the same, but resisted, mostly because I didn't want to initiate any contact with him again.

    Let it be a lesson learned. Next time you're in love, keep your photos for yourself and leave them off the internet. Or accept that if a relationship ends, those memories are going to probably still be there for you and the world to see.

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